Sunday, June 7, 2009

"True JACC" Lawsuit In The Jordan Neighborhood: Fourth Of July Expected To Be "Independence Day" In Jordan Neighbohood...

Photo By John Hoff


THIS POST CONTAINS ELEMENTS OF PARODY. But, given how bizarre this case is in the first place, picking out those parody elements may prove quite difficult.

So Plaintiff Attorney Jill Clark finished up her cross examination of Kip Browne, asking (but not really ASKING) whether New Majority Secretary Anne McCandless had a plan to change the locks on the office door even prior to the January 14, 2009 board meeting. Clark also wanted to know if Anne McCandless "planned to call the police if anything (from the office) was missing to "make the case against Jerry (Moore) stronger."

Kip shrugged and said McCandless was a former police officer. It wouldn't surprise him if she thought like a cop. Therefore, if stuff is missing, well, call the police. The tone of Clark's question seemed to imply the act of calling the police was a crime IN AND OF ITSELF. Somehow, the way Clark asked the question seemed to invoke some kind of North Minneapolis cultural standard--a standard which neighborhood revitalization forces are trying hard to stamp out--which holds it is "not cool" to call the police, even if some random bullet just hit you in the leg and you're dragging yourself down the sidewalk.

But Clark couldn't get anywhere with Kip Browne, and soon enough she was done with him. Before getting another shot at Ben Myers, Defense Attorney David Schooler called Anne McCandless back to the stand to clarify on a few points...

McCandless put down her sewing and took the stand without drama or hesitation, like "back on the stand. Whatever."

Schooler didn't have a lot of questions. His question was whether Dennis Wagner was upset with the Old Majority JACC leadership because he couldn't get information about the Executive Director hiring process and applicants. McCandless answered this was indeed the case. That was about it, but apparently the record needed to be made on this particular point.

That pretty much wrapped things up for the day, with the hearing resuming the next day, Wednesday. Jill Clark's long-suffering assistant--the "beltless Beta male"--arrived early and waited at the door of the court room. Once again, he didn't have a belt. I was dumbfounded by this. I mean, I can understand misplacing your belt one day and not having it, but now he was wearing a DIFFERENT PAIR OF PANTS. Surely he had a belt, somewhere? Why would he NOT have a belt? What awful things happen if he shows up with a belt? Do I want the truth? Can I HANDLE the truth?

Low strains of The Emperor's March could be heard, and then Jill Clark appeared.

"I didn't hear from you," she said to Defense Attorney David Schooler. No preliminaries. No "good morning, too nice a day to be in court." No, these were just the first words out of her mouth, directed at Defense Attorney David Schooler. Schooler answered that he sent her an email this morning, but Jill just stood with that frequent dour look she has, like Kathy Bates in the movie "Misery," discovering her little penguin is facing the wrong way.

Ben Myers arrived, talking into his phone, projecting self-importance. I remember when we used to play in the sand pile near our double wide trailer, and he would talk into an old, worn shoe like it was a cell phone, pretending he was a master of the universe. And then Mama Sweetums would beat him with the shoe, for "putting on airs." But as soon as she waddled around the corner, he would pick up the shoe again.

"Hell-wo?" he would say. Then he'd pretend to be buying and selling shares of something. Ben never learned his lesson. He never learned to stop "putting on airs." Ben made a brief appearance in the court room, but then disappeared again, with that constant air of self-importance; like his client had a prayer. Three words: Life without parole.

At the defense table, Defense Attorney Al Goins (constantly present, always advising Schooler, but seldom interjecting himself into the proceedings) asked, "When are you going to run again, Jill?" He was apparently referencing Jill Clark's campaign for an associate justice seat on the Minnesota State Supreme Court. Jill didn't win. She didn't even make it past the primaries.

"I was thinking just the other day," Jill Clark answered. "NEVER."

Clark began joking around about the exhibits, joking that she may object to some exhibits purely upon their WEIGHT.

"It's the poundage thing," Clark joked, and it seemed like she was trying so hard to josh around, to be congenial as lawyers can be with each other, despite being on different sides. Yet there's always something which comes off as forced and fraudulent about the little act Jill puts on at moments like this. You know she's really Kathy Bates in Misery, just wanting to smack your ankle with a sledge hammer, but thank god she doesn't have a sledge hammer...she just has this pathetic loser of a case.

Questions arose as to where Ben Myers was.

"They've had a couple of jury questions," Jill explained, referencing the murder case where Ben was one of the defense attorneys. "So I think he's up and down the elevator."

Ben finally came back and Jill Clark put him on the stand, asking about the night Jerry Moore was fired and the old executive officers were replaced. She asked how physically far away was the church where that night's meeting was held from the JACC office? Ben answered it was some blocks away and he wouldn't have time to get a copy of Jerry's contract during the meeting where Jerry was fired. That would be the meeting where EVERYBODY KNEW the subject was likely to come up, though the "Old Majority" would have preferred to avoid and delay discussion.

Moving to another subject, Myers mentioned the JACC listserv which is monitored by Megan Goodmundson. Myers claimed he hadn't received emails on the listserv since January of 2009 and maybe even earlier. Maybe since November or December of 2008. Myers asserted Steve Jackson and Shannon Hartfield weren't getting the emails, either.

On cross examination by Schooler--surprisingly gentle and restrained, I thought, not the brutal crucifixion scene Schooler is quite capable of pulling off--the issue came up of revenue versus administrative costs. Myers asserted the only thing which mattered was "one not exceed the other."

Yeah, I thought, that's how me and Ben's mama would pay bills, too. Throw all the money in the old metal cookie container and about once a month--after buying a good stock of original formula Nyquil--send something in the general direction of the bills and hope there was enough. If there's not enough, then don't pay utilities, because those can be put off for months. If worse comes to worse, you can always get a new name and find a new trailer court, packing up in the dead of night before the landlord comes to change the locks.

Schooler indicated he was finished with Myers. I felt the anti-climax of that moment as Ben started to rise up in his seat, but then Judge Porter said, well, he had a few questions for Myers. And then--to my amazement, and the amazement of everybody in that court room, including Jerry Moore, who seemed wide-eyed at times--Judge Porter proceeded to grill up the Porterhouse Special, with Ben Myers starring as the steak. The grilling by Porter went on for almost HALF AN HOUR. It was like cross examination, only Myers didn't dare duck and dodge because this was THE JUDGE.

"I'd like to go through your personal history with the board," was the first thing Porter said, and it was ominous-sounding. Ben and his "personal history" with the board. It's like the kind of thing you'd say to a guy who won't stop stalking his girlfriend, so he sues her over ownership of the bed and dresser, just to drag her into court.

Myers answered he'd been on the board in 2006. Ben became the lawyer for JACC when he moved to the Jordan neighborhood. It was February of 2006 when Ben moved into his home, the home where he doesn't bother to pay the taxes, though Ben didn't say anything about THAT part. He'd been in the neighborhood FIVE MONTHS when he became the JACC lawyer in the Spring of 2006. And he ran for the board.

Porter asked if there was ANY QUESTION AT ALL that this was a two-year term? No, Myers admitted, there was not.

And, Porter pressed, did that term expire in October of 2008?

"Yes," Myers answered, and I was glad to see all those beatings from Big Mama Sweetums finally paid off. FINALLY, a yes or no answer from Myers when it really MATTERED.

Judge Porter asked if Myers could run again, and the answer was yes.

"You came on board and almost immediately became chair?" Porter asked.

"Yes," Myers answered.

Your term as chair would expire in October or November of 2008? Porter pressed. Myers went into some explanation about officers being elected by the PREVIOUS board.

"Your view is the officers are elected by the PREVIOUS board?" Porter asked.

Oh, yes, that was Ben's view. Because it was the only line of reasoning which could explain his power plays, when those plays were contrasted with the bylaws. But Ben didn't say THAT exactly.

"If there had been a board election in October of 2008," Porter asked. "Who would elect the officers?"

"The ones ALREADY SEATED," Myers answered.

Porter asked if Myers was concerned about the legitimacy of the board elections in January of 2009? Myers said he was indeed concerned. The electoral slate was "streamlined" by Kip Browne to narrow the field to individuals Kip wanted on the board. At some point, Ben Myers brought up his own "ex officio" position on the board. He was still on the board, Myers asserted, though he was there "ex officio" because of his previous position as chair.

"I'm not sure what the bylaws say in that regard," Porter said, doing that "princely brooding thing" with his brow. I wondered how many times Senator Larry Craig had seen that particular expression. I sat there and thought, "This is a judge who drop kicks a UNITED STATES SENATOR, so what's going to happen to poor little Ben Myers?"

Myers asserted the one year term issue came up because of fears of losing many board members too quickly. Too much turnover, Myers said.

"Why didn't you appoint people?" Porter asked. Myers said he didn't want to appoint people because he didn't want JACC to "appear like a dictatorship." The Judge said, "You could have accepted input, and then appointed people." Myers replied something along the lines of, "Yes, oh well. I guess I could have. But I didn't want to." Something like that.

Porter wanted to know "what happened" at the March 2007 board meeting where Moore was hired permanently. Such a general question, I thought. WHAT HAPPENED? Myers said the search committee interviewed "maybe 10 individuals." Those interviews all took place at The Bean Scene at Broadway and Penn. Myers said a white female applicant raised concerns about having to be out by herself in this particular neighborhood.

Porter asserted "the minutes of that particular meeting--Exhibit 184--are pretty sketchy." In fact, it seems to me Porter said the word "sketchy" twice. I made a point of writing it down. Sketchy minutes.

Seemingly trying to keep a tone of desperate bargaining out of his voice, Myers said he would turn over agendas from the executive committees to the judge if the judge would "keep the record open."

The judge pressed about whether there had been discussion regarding administrative expenses? The subject of Moore's salary came up, Moore's Blackberry and health coverage. Porter pressed about how the board was "committing itself to a managerial position" and, really, where was the MONEY going to come from to cover this? Myers answered about the need to have somebody who was "doing everything" because, well, there was a need for that. Myers said how Moore was doing it all, and made special mention of Jerry Moore's rather impressive ability to always take out the trash.

Ah, but Moore was so much more than somebody who could properly dispose of a filled-up Glad bag! Myers spoke of Jerry's attempts at fundraising and making the minutes. Myers asserted Moore was, in fact, doing "programming" as well as administrative stuff.

"Give me an example," Porter said.

Myers gave the example of the 10K Aids Walk, and how much Jerry Moore helped with that. At some point soon after this, Porter seemed to tire of Myers, as a cat tires of a mouse which has stopped twitching. Jill Clark asked Myers a question, apparently hoping she could put some twitch back in his ragged, torn body. She referred Myers to a section of the bylaws which addressed (she said) board appointments.

Porter interjected, in a harsh tone, "That's the section for appointing executive officers. That's, like, if the secretary doesn't show up!"

A few minutes went by as Clark and Myers hunted in vain for some part of the bylaws which would allow Ben Myers to appoint somebody to the board. Judge Porter finally said, "Ms. Clark, we're about to run out of time."

"I just have a few questions," Clark answered.

"Use it wisely, Ms. Clark," the judge answered.

A paper was passed to the judge. It appeared Myers may have been wanted elsewhere. The last question Clark got in involved how much programming activity was done by Jerry Moore? Myers asserted the number was 60 percent. Schooler approached with a document to ask about a final question. Ben tried to look at his Blackberry on the stand.

"If you could set down the Blackberry for a moment," said Schooler, getting a fact in the record: Myers had been using his Blackberry on the stand. Who knows what communications he was receiving? Not that it did a lot of good.

The ghost of Brian Smith walked in at that moment, and took a chair. His face wore a harsh and hard expression, considering it was a time of celebration: "Old Home Week" at JACC. Brian Smith used to be the Vice Chair. Some "New Majority" people say it was really Brian Smith who opened the door wide to Jerry Moore. JACC's tailspin into chaos didn't start with Myers or Moore, they would assert, it started with Brian Smith.

Jill Clark began to argue for the opportunity to put Jerry Moore back on the stand to say he did "60 to 65 percent programming." She had some affidavits, too, and wanted to get those in.

David Schooler argued that Clark had all the time she needs. Schooler wanted no new affidavits or witnesses. Close the record, Schooler said. Let us have a decision. Clark argued she wanted rebuttal by affidavit.

In the spectator section, Anne McCandless leaned forward and whispered loudly, "She's grasping at straws!" Clark did indeed appear to be flailing at that moment. The rank odor of seared flesh from Porter's grilling of Ben Myers still hung in the air, and now the whole proceeding was wrapping up. Anything to delay crushing and total defeat. Anything to live in the pretend world a few days longer, the bizarro fantasy universe where the ousted and exiled plaintiffs triumphantly return to JACC like General MacArthur stepping off an amphibious troop carrier, "People of the Jordan Neighborhood...we have returned!"

Porter compromised. He agreed to close the record at 9:30 Monday morning. Then, Porter said, there would be "one week for argument in briefs." I sat up at this point. That's an amazingly short time to submit briefs, I thought. Porter said he would try to get the order out "by the Fourth of July." Over Clark's objections, Porter said he would allow Schooler to submit one month of financial records.

The last, desperate argument I witnessed coming from the mouth of Jill Clark involved the "Flowers affidavit," which the judge had earlier rejected. Clark said the Flowers incident at the JACC office was "a set up" and that "fact" (using "fact" as one would in the BIZARRO UNIVERSE) is corroborative that Jerry Moore's "fracas" was also a deliberate set up.

At long last, things seemed to be over, except for the waiting part. For more than a month--if Porter issued his order on the Fourth of July as hoped--the "New Majority" would have to wait for resolution. With a foreclosure crisis hitting the neighborhood with one body blow after another, with desperate scrambles to keep the JACC organization afloat financially, resolution was on the horizon but still not at hand.

However, things were OBVIOUS. It was OBVIOUS which way it was going to go.

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Phone Book Dumpers Stopped In Their Tracks...


Contributed Photos 


A regular reader submitted these photos and told me a story that happened a few days ago, as she stopped some phone book dumpers right at the conclusion of their delivery to a complex of townhomes. The "Hawthorne Hawkman" would have been proud as the evil dumpers were forced to go back and "undump" their pile of wasted trees.

Though this incident happened in one of the southern suburbs, the issue of unwanted phone book dumping is bigger than North Minneapolis. So here's the story...

I caught them right as they were at the last building of 46 townhomes, all with individual doorsteps. I asked them to go back and pick up each one, telling them we don't want them, they didn't clear it with management and this is private property (that really is irrelevant, but I try to play the hardball and use it when I can, scare some Jehovah's witnesses, scare some thugs away, scare some phone book thugs, you know)

So after a lot of bitching and moaning and telling me they need my contact info and did I already take the property off the delivery list, cause, ya know, they have a delivery order for this property and it's not listed as "DO NOT DELIVER."

I told them, yes, I have, several times but it does no good. So i have to stand there with my arms crossed and glare at them until the driver barks at the lady and tells her to get moving, go pick them all up again.

She takes her little rolling cart and starts making her way up and down each door walkway, back and forth, up and down, getting 5 or 6 books at a time, bringing them back to the overflowing mini-van and then back up and down for more.

Meanwhile I got my camera and start snapping pictures of them, and continue to stand and glare making sure they go to each of the 8 buildings, each of the 46 doorways. Towards the end, I go over and thank them, apologize for having to be the bitch about it, but this phone dumping is ridiculous.

The lady starts into a rant about how "you don't have to take it out on us, you're treating us like we are criminals and we are just doing our job!" I tell her I am sorry, but I don't want the phone books and Dex is the criminal here. She continues to rant about "how everyone makes us go back and get the phone books and THAT isn't part of their job, just delivering them is."

I advised her that perhaps she should go ask permission FIRST before they start dumping hundreds of phone books at multi-family properties etc. She says how uncomfortable it is that I am taking their picture, I reassure her "don't worry, I don't even know your name or anything" again with the "treating us like criminals" etc.

So in the end I tried to communicate that I was thankful that they picked them up and hope they had a better day from here out.

UUuuuugggggggggggggggg.

JNS says: You go, girl, and hopefully readers will take heart and do likewise. 

DEX YOU SUCK!!!!!!!

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Garden Of Gethsemane Church Design Wins Awards...

Photos By John Hoff

Some days ago I wrote about the grand re-opening of Garden of Gethsemane Church, an event which arguably announced the revitalization turning point for the Cottage Park area of the Jordan Neighborhood. (As you can see by the picture above, the church wasn't ALWAYS known as Garden of Gethsemane)

Now word comes the church redesign won some awards. Here is the press release, as follows:

Catalyst Community Partners is proud to announce two real estate awards of excellence for the recently completed Garden of Gethsemane Ministries Church in the Cottage Park neighborhood of North Minneapolis.

The Twin Cities Business Journal awarded the church project Best Interior Renovation - Nonprofit as part of its 2008 Best in Real Estate Awards.

In addition, the Minneapolis Heritage Preservation Commission in conjunction with the Minneapolis chapter of the American Institute of Architects and Preserve Minneapolis awarded the highly prestigious Neighborhood Preservation 2009 Heritage Preservation Award to the project.

Congratulations and thank you to all of our team members who made these awards possible, including The Garden of Gethsemane Ministries, The Ackerberg Group, Welsh Construction and the countless vendors and contractors who gave their
time and talent to create this vibrant community asset, proving once again that positive results are made "Better. Together."

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Keith Reitman Doesn't Like To Be Called A Slumlord...

Photo By John Hoff

First of all, let me make one thing clear: I've never had an unpleasant interaction with Keith Reitman. He is a savvy, self-made man who possesses a modest empire of what might be called "moderate income housing." Some might apply a particular label to Reitman's enterprise. However, Reitman has told me--in person--he takes offense at the phrase "slumlord."

To this I respond, "I have worked for low-income property managers in the past. I think it's fair to say I have slumlord blood running through my veins. And I don't mean that in a negative way."

But Reitman doesn't like the phrase. At all. So when people who have a problem with Reitman talk behind his back--and they so often do--they make a point of saying "slumlord" loud and often.

By what appears to be strategic shifting of loyalties, Reitman has played a role under both the "Old Majority" and "New Majority" in the Jordan Neighborhood, where grass roots politics have the intensity of revolution. Currently, Reitman sits on the board with "New Majority" members, and talks with them amicably, and votes on board issues. However...

...over in the Jordan Neighborhood, they have NEVER forgotten Reitman's true nature. It is never far from their mind how he was the seller at 1564 Hillside Ave. N., the deal at the center of the Larry Maxwell mortgage fraud trial, and how somehow $5,000 got scraped off the seller's side of that deal and ended up in the pocket of Jerry Moore.

Lately, here at the Johnny Northside blog, I have an emerging mission and emphasis. I will get my hands on lists of properties owned by slumlords, I will publish these lists, and I will let the chips fall where they may. Several weeks ago, somebody sent me a list of Reitman properties. KEEP IN MIND this list is a couple years old. It is not considered current. Consider the list a beginning, a basis for discussion.

The list was compiled by some people in the Jordan neighborhood who were researching slumlords. At some point, a public presentation was made, along with PowerPoint and pictures projected on a screen. The young woman giving the presentation was kind of shy, not really much into public speaking, but she had a job to do and was up there in front of the audience doing it, by god.

In the middle of her presentation about Reitman properties, somebody started to boo. Loudly. Repeatedly.

Boo. Boooooooooo. Boooooooooooooooooo.

This person turned out to be Keith Reiman himself. And, as a result of this action, a kind of imbalance was created in The Force, an imbalance which I now intend to remedy through a two step process.

Step One. Here is the list which I emphasize, AGAIN, is an old list:

1. 1405/1407 21st Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 - Provisional – 13 Housing violations, 132 Police incidents, 20 Police reports filed.

2. 2111 4th St N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Provisional – 53 Housing violations, 40 Police incidents, 2 police reports filed.

3. 1406 Golden Valley Rd Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Provisional – no violation, incidents or reports.

4. 1600 Golden Valley Rd Minneapolis, MN 55411 – 52 Housing violation, no police incident, reports.

5. 1301 Holden St N Minneapolis, MN 55405 – 13 Housing violations, no police incidents, reports.

6. 1564 Hillside Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Approved – 44 Housing violations, 75 Police incidents, 11 police reports filed.

7. 2373/2401 James Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – 26 Housing violations, 72 Police incidents, 11 Police reports filed.

8. 620 Lowry Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55412 –Approved – 25 Housing violations, 67 Police incidents, 9 Police reports filed.

9. 1910 Penn Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Provisional – 11 Housing violations, 23 Police incidents, 1 incident.

10. 2331 Penn Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Provisional – 23 Housing violations, 1 Police report filed.

11. 2335 Penn Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Provisional.

12. 2341 Penn Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Provisional - Homestead.

13. 2522 Penn Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 – Approved.

14. 1900 Portland Ave Minneapolis, MN 55404 – Provisional.

15. 1336 Upton Ave N Minneapolis, MN 55411 - Provisional.

16. 1409/1405/1407/1411 West Broadway Minneapolis, MN 55411 - Provisional.

17. 1415 West Broadway Minneapolis, MN 55411 -Approved.

18. 2329 West Broadway Minneapolis, MN 55411 - Provisional.

19. 2601 West Broadway Minneapolis, MN 55411 - Provisional.

20. 2619 West Broadway Minneapolis, MN 55411.

21. 2623 West Broadway Minneapolis, MN 55411.

Step Two: Mr. Reitman, I have this to say:

Boo. Boooooooooooooo. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Readers and contributors, keep the lists coming of slumlord empires dragging down North Minneapolis.


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Prostitution, Drug Activity At 2700 Morgan Ave. North, a.k.a. "The Salmon House"

Stock Photo By John Hoff

So it's about time to spill this all over the blogosphere: prostitution and drug activity at 2700 Morgan Ave. N. has been a concern for a long time among the "Pond People" of the Jordan Neighborhood. Indeed, life "on the pond" is almost perfect and ideal, except for the druggies and prostitutes which tend to congregate at 2700 Morgan Ave. N.

Due to the color of the house, it is known--rather objectively and dispassionately--as the Salmon House. But it's not fish they're smoking inside, baby. 

Back in February of this year, a conversation took place by email between a concerned Jordan resident and a civilian "crime prevention specialist" who serves as something of a point of contact for citizens. Though the conversation started several months ago, it recently picked up again.

Here, I'll let Johnny Northside readers peek at the unedited emails like virtual voyeurs.

Here you go...

----------------------------------------
February 25, 2009

Hi (Name of Crime Prevention Specialist)

Can you respond to all of us and tell us as much as you can about this report # from the highlights report 09-046663รข€¦. Search warrant at 2700 Morgan. 3 misdemeanor tags issued.

This is a house that causes a fair amount of livability issues around me and my neighbors, whom I have cc'd here.

Thanks.

(Name of Resident)

---------------------------------------

The very next day, the police official responded as follows:

February 26, 2009

Hi (Resident),

I know 2700 Morgan has been on the radar for awhile now. Officers were finally able to get a buy (have an informant go to the house and purchase narcotics) out of the house. A search warrant was then done on 02/17/2009 at approximately 1:17 pm.

There were three females inside the residence who were issued citations for disorderly house and one juvenile was taken into custody for an outstanding warrant. Unfortunately the person that the informant stated sold him the drugs was not there. And only some drug paraphernalia including small plastic baggies used to package crack cocaine, and a digital scale were recovered during the warrant. But because the informant purchased a rock of crack cocaine form the address prior to the warrant, we are able to send a Notice of Conduct on Licensed premises to the owner regarding the disorderly house. And hopefully push them to take action in abating the problem. If not, and the illegal conduct continues we can push to have the owners rental licensed revoked.

Please let me know if you have any more questions.

Thanks,

(Crime Prevention Specialist)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
That same day, the resident replied as follows:

February 26, 2009

(Crime Prevention Specialist), thanks for the info.

I am actually surprised that this police activity was related to drugs, because we are aware of so much prostitution from this house. I suppose the two things go hand in hand, but if you could pass it on to the CRT team that this is an active prostitution house and let them work on that too.

Lately I have noticed that 27th Ave between Penn and James seems to be heavy prostitute traffic, almost everytime I am on that road it seems there is a lady walking and flagging at me, walking backwards to watch me drive away etc etc.

Thanks,

(Resident)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Three months later, on May 29, 2009, out of the blue the police official send another communication, as follows.

Hi (Resident)

Just wanted to update you regarding 2700 Morgan, because I met with the city attorney yesterday and licensing regarding this address. As I'm sure you are aware the police did do another raid in May, where narcotics were recovered again. I have been out and spoken to the tenant there, and you are correct she is a known prostitute and drug user, who is basically letting people come in and smoke/deal from her house. She told me she is trying to find a new place to live and would be out by the end of the month, but, we are moving to revoke the rental license from the owner also immediately.

Initially this house is in foreclosure with a redemption date in the middle of July. It is owned by Danna D Investors and they are losing a lot of their properties right now due to some financial problems. Hopefully by closing this house down and in the future selling it to a responsible owner will help quiet things down in the neighborhood and make it safer for everyone.

If you have any questions or concerns please let me know.

Thanks,

(Civilian Crime Specialist)
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Politely, the resident replied as follows:

Hi (Crime Prevention Specialist),

Thanks so much for getting back to me, I am especially impressed because this a good follow up from an email I sent you several months ago - so thank you big time.

I will share the progress with my neighbors, and I am copying the 5th ward staff because I want them to see your great "customer' service" in action.

If you need anything from us neighbors in regards to this address, please let us know.

Thanks,

(Resident)
-----------------------------------------------

So, dear readers, this is how I look at things: 2700 Morgan Ave. North. This address is kind of like the Jordan Neighborhood's 3020 6th St. N. And, exactly like "3020," it will be resolved the same way: through foreclosure and vacancy as well as steady police action. When 2700 goes down, life on the Jordan Pond (already close to idyllic) will be several steps closer to urban utopia.

The mainstream media has utterly neglected the story of what is going on in NoMi. We are fighting the thugs, we are winning, and we are turning this place into paradise.

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Surprising Evidence Of Life At The $7,900 House...

Photo by John Hoff

If I write something erroneous, I do go back and try to correct it. Some time ago I wrote how the amazing antique $7,900 house of Connie Nompelis (No-buhl-iss, it's Greek) came with a dead tree needing to be sawed up for firewood.

Well, it turns out the tree was something of a late bloomer. Though it looked dried up and dead, even as the other trees were springing to life, now it turns out the tree is alive and merely needing some large dead branches trimmed away.

Also, I'm no longer positive it's an apple tree. I'm not sure what it is, anymore, though I've decided it's NOT an apple tree.

Of course, the part of me that believes in magical and miraculous things prefers to believe the tree was indeed dead when I judged it to be dead, but some positive new spirit has brought the tree back to life, the same positive spirit which appears to be bringing rebirth, revitalization, and reclamation to our neighborhood every day.

(Do not click "Read More")

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Saturday, June 6, 2009

You Can Be Yourself In NoMi...And Drive A "Woody"




Photos By John Hoff

A resident of the Jordan Neighborhood drives an amazing Ford Fairlane "woody" festooned with stickers, and it was so funky I just had to take a picture of it.

Since coming to North Minneapolis (NoMi) I've noticed how people in this part of town really feel free to be themselves, for good or bad. It's not like the suburbs, where the "offensively orange" color of a garage door might cause riled up feelings with neighbors and some organized effort to enforce conformity. Here in NoMi, the houses are affordable enough for artsy free spirits and evidence of creative individuality spills into the yards, the fences, the front porches and--as you see here--sometimes it pulls right up and parks in front of the house.

When I see this car, I hear a medley of Beach Boys songs, the theme song from Happy Days and, of course, Bye Bye Miss American Pie. I think to myself, "How happy I am to live the NoMi lifestyle--affordable, meaningful, sustainable--instead of a dreary conformist life in the suburbs."

These are all the things I think when I see this car. And maybe that's part of the point of owning a car like that.


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"Hakeem Squad" Un-Endorsement Plot Utterly Crushed At 5th District Green Party Meeting...

Photo By John Hoff

Cam Gordon, City Councilman, Ward 2, is a fine statesman and a fellow Green Party Member. But there was a bit of a tempest in a green teapot over Cam's endorsement of Mayor R.T. Rybak. Keep in mind Rybak doesn't have any serious competition in the race, since Al Flowers doesn't count and, in the words of one Green Party activist who spoke to me anonymously, "Couldn't win the election against Rybak if Rybak dropped dead."

And those facts probably had a lot to do with Cam Gordon trying to build bridges by endorsing the uber-strong R.T. Rybak.

Seizing upon Cam's blunder--even Cam was calling it a bit of a boneheaded move--a negative and persistent faction within the Green Party submitted a petition to have Cam "Un-Endorsed."

Keep in mind that under the wide open, loose rules of the "Five C" Greens, it only takes five people to submit such a petition and force a meeting....

And, the truth be told, five seemed to be pretty close to the exact number of people who held that particular opinion within the 5C Greens, and they were all on the petition, though not every one of them had the decency to actually show up at the annoying and useless meeting forced by their action. In the basement of a library, 41 members of the Green Party met for well over an hour, along with a few assorted guests who were not eligible to vote, to debate the lame and doomed proposal to take back the endorsement of Cam Gordon. If a vote had been held, then and there, by my reckoning it would have been 37 to 4. 

Some eligible voters did drift in and out, but 41 were there at the moment we voted, and 44 when I counted heads and calculated which way a vote might go. All the same, do the math: if everybody contributes an hour, then roughly TWO DAYS OF HUMAN LIFE were burned up by this exercise in futility. Did the people behind the proposal severely miscalculate the strength of their hand, or did they put everybody through this futile gesture on purpose? Either way you slice it, it's lame.

The anti-Gordon faction was apparently led by Farheen Hakeem, who has been seen over and over with Al "I Am The Community" Flowers, the guy who disrupted the JACC press conference, shoved Council Member Don Samuels in the back, and then sued Samuels for "assault." This is the person Hakeem spends so much time with, to the point there are widespread, unconfirmed rumors she is Flowers' campaign manager. I have said before--and I've said it on this blog--Hakeem is an embarrassment to the 5th District Greens and she is the reason I don't show up to be part of Green Party events.

Well, it turns out I'm not the only person holding this view. Sources I spoke to around the time of the meeting were able to name names and say who, exactly, had stopped participating in Fifth District Green Party events just to avoid Hakeem's little "squad" of negativity and self-interested scheming.

Incredibly, very few people at the meeting seemed to know anything about Hakeem's adventures with Al Flowers and JACC. In fact, the individuals upset with Hakeem were upset for OTHER stuff, including her endorsement of Peter Hutchinson for governor over a Green Party candidate in 2006. Trust me when I say I took it upon myself to inform the 5th District Greens about Hakeem's rather public involvement with Al Flowers and Al's little lawsuit against Don Samuels.

"You are an embarrassment to the Green Party," I told her, point blank. Another speaker called the proposal "ridiculous."

Only awkward meeting procedure forced us to have the discussion about the lame as (expletive) proposal, a significant group of people wanted to vote right away and JUST LEAVE. So we talked. There were three themes during the discussion: First, Cam Gordon is good and we love Cam. Second, not only the proposal but the people behind it are bad for the Green Party. (I was involved in THAT particular charge)

And, of course, then there were the people who brought the proposal in the first place, such as Farheen and the "evil twin" Dittman Brothers. (Spelling unconfirmed) The Dittmans, both of which have a clipped, over-enunciating manner of speaking, accused Mayor Rybak of not replacing infrastructure fast enough. The red-headed sibling duo made me wonder if zillionaire Bill Gates may have been involved in some kind of dark secret cloning effort, and this was the horror-inducing result. But even among the proponents of the proposal, support seemed to be weak at best.

Farheen didn't speak, strategically passing so she could speak later. At one point, she kicked off her sandals and walked around barefoot in her flowing green robe thingie. It came off kinda nutty, even by oh-so-casual Green Party etiquette.

At some point, rather than face a 10 to 1 defeat on their proposal, the Farheen Squad put forward a counter proposal, actually adopting a freely circulating idea as their own idea. They changed their proposal to "unendorse" Cam and substituted a proposal for the party leadership to unequivocally NOT endorse Rybak, making Rybak sound like he was some kind of reactionary right winger, a person who bore little resemblance to the Rybak I've met and heard about.

Without discussion--due to awkward Green Party procedure--the substitute proposal was put to a vote by paper ballot. Ballots were collected in a baseball hat, pictured above. The final results were 20 in favor of the proposal, and 21 against. A full 66 percent would have been required for either side to win, but the vote results were a moral defeat for the Hakeem Squad. They couldn't even get a moral victory by majority vote on the WEAK AND WATERED DOWN proposal.

Gee, was I glad to show up at that meeting and throw in one more vote!

By picking this doomed battle, and forcing people to blow a big chunk of their afternoon, the Hakeem Squad wasted enormous political capital. Things are now being said loudly in public that before had been said in private: Farheen Hakeem and her "Hakeem Squad" are a bad influence on the 5th District Greens. Their negative energy is driving people out of the party and preventing others from ever showing up. Furthermore, why is Hakeem so involved with Al Flowers? Her involvement with this controversial, unstable personality makes the party look bad. And Flowers is NOT EVEN A GREEN PARTY MEMBER. On the contrary, he sought a DFL endorsement, coming in "third in a two man race."

Yes, of course I used that line. When I mention Al Flowers in a room full of people, of course I'm going to use that line.

There was talk after the vote of all the Greens going to a bar. But remember, just because you REALLY NEED A DRINK doesn't mean the suffering is over. What wacky, doomed scheme will the "Hakeem Squad" pull next to embarrass the Fifth District Greens?

To find out, stay tuned to Johnny Northside.

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JNS BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Cam Gordon versus Farheen Hakeem...

Photo By John Hoff, January, 2009

I have a report of a minor dispute within the 5th District Green Party. A group led by Farheen Hakeem has circulated a petition, and is trying to "un-endorse" City Councilman Cam Gordon (Green Party) because, heaven forbid, Gordon endorsed Mayor Rybak, whose only competition is Al I-Am-The-Community Flowers. (Yes, the guy who came in third in a two man race) 

Hakeem is apparently...

...in the Al Flowers camp, which is a very small camp, so certainly it's easy to play a lead role in a camp like that.

For the record, I am a member of the 5th District Green Party, and Farheem Hakeem is a constant source of embarrassment which keeps me from participating more fully in Green Party politics. Well, that and too much emphasis on social justice issues instead of environmental issues, which I see as the WHOLE FREAKING POINT of the Green Party, otherwise why should we exist? The Green Party should be more than a refuge for radical rejects from the DFL. 

There, I said it. It just came out. How long have I been holding THAT inside? For years.

Anyway, readers will remember Hakeem from the infamous "JACC press conference," showing up there with Al Flowers.

A meeting is taking place today at the "Hosmer Library" of Green Party members to deal with the move toward "un-endorsement." This is kind of happening at the last minute, it appears. Get the word out to any other Green Party members you know. I'll get the results reported when I know the results.

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An Omen Of Things To Come For Ben Myers Of The JACC "Old Majority"

Stock photo, Christ crucified for the sins of Edward Barrientos

Word comes from an MPD press release as follows...

Edgar Barrientos was found guilty of first degree murder in the death of Jesse Mickelson who was killed Oct 11, 2008 in a yard on the 4100 block of 29th Avenue South. Barrientos has been sentenced to LIFE IN PRISON WITHOUT THE POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE. (All caps not in the original press release)

This is the Barrientos who was defended by Ben Myers, in the midst of the "True JACC" lawsuit about who should be leading the Jordan Area Community Council. The verdict is...

...a bit surprising. One might think given the relative youth of Barrientos, some mitigating factor might prevent him from spending the rest of his life in prison and, oh gee, wouldn't it be the job of the defense attorneys to bring that up? Yeah, right after Ben pays the gas bill, right? I'm torn between spitting out the truth versus giving good ideas to convicted murderer Barrientos, but I've already spit out the truth about Ben Myers all over the internet, so doing it one more time probably isn't going to hurt. 

Two words. Ineffective counsel.

Yeah, like that wouldn't ALREADY occur to Barrientos at this point in his life.

Obviously the trial of Barrientos was hugely important to both the families of the victim and defendant himself, who sat there so calmly, as though he had a chance in Hades with that jury. See my post about the jury composition, which was pretty much something between a PTA meeting and take-your-hot-college-age-daughter-to-work-in-the-suburbs-day. In other words, pretty much like ALL THE JURIES IN HENNEPIN COUNTY, so best to plea bargain.

Yes, the murder trial was important IN AND OF ITSELF. But, focusing on happenings in North Minneapolis, one can't help but see this verdict as merely an omen, a harbinger of just how bad things will go for the "Old Majority" in the court of Judge Porter, whether it's the "True JACC" lawsuit or the ill-advised defamation suit.

LIFE. WITHOUT PAROLE. Life as the "JACC Outcasts" who ruined their public reputation by hijacking a neighborhood association, and trying to fly it where the majority of the neighborhood didn't want to go: away from vital issues of crime, public safety, vacant and boarded buildings and, instead, to some kind of thug-hugging, budget looting "social justice" agenda which might be fine for a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY, but isn't good enough for a neighborhood both desperately needing and strongly craving revitalization.

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when this neighborhood was safe and idyllic. That is what we need to bring back, that time of safety and happiness. We do not need to "revitalize," for our neighborhood is already vital. We need to RECLAIM.


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Friday, June 5, 2009

Raising "Kilt Consciousness" In NoMi...

Talk To The Kilt

After the NoMi calendar photo shoot at North United Methodist, some of us went to the Victory 44 restaurant and bar, including the guy pictured here, Dan Adolphson.

Adolphson apparently believes kilts should be an accepted and common item of American men's fashion--he feels quite strongly and personally about this--and so he showed up at the NoMi photo shoot in this little black number. And I was all, like, "Nice skirt" and he was all, like, "It's a kilt."

Yeah, like a squid is a calamari, I thought to myself, but since I was busy stuffing my mouth with calamari, I didn't want to get into the argument.

But, hey, I gotta say, at least he's got the legs for it.

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An Accident Waiting To Happen At 3020 6th St. North...



Here is a photo I took a couple days ago at 3020 6th St. N., the former crack house which is rapidly turning into a neighborhood success story. For now, however, it is still owned by a distant and impersonal bank. The bank doesn't seem to have a lot of time or attention for minor details like, oh gee...

One of the basement windows is an accident waiting to happen. Somebody could just fall right in there and break a leg. This house is right next to an alley which presents a constant shortcut, so such a scenario is hardly implausible. Only the other day, I advised some school age children not to be cutting across the yard of that house...and I got a whole lot of attitude from their mother, who said nobody should dare tell her children pretty much ANYTHING, including not to trespass across the yard of a former crack house.

ANYWAY...

Accident waiting to happen. Enough said. This is what the foreclosure crisis is doing to our neighborhood or, more precisely, this is what big, aloof, distant banks are doing to our neighborhood through mortgage foreclosures.

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"True JACC" Lawsuit In The Jordan Neighborhood: Kip Browne, Ben Myers Go Back And Forth On The Stand..

Contributed Stock Photo, Kip Browne, last night

THIS POST DOES NOT CONTAIN PARODY. Sometimes the truth is funny enough.

After Ben Myers temporarily left the stand--with the Goddess of Truth pretty much worse for wear, walking around in a torn toga with evidence of date rape drugs in her system--Kip Browne was sworn in to testify.

(No, that was not parody, that was metaphor) 

So, with Myers only half done, and Browne on the stand, but Myers scheduled to return, once again, when Browne was finished, it was truly a case of "dueling JACC leadership," just like the competing agendas which were the first salvo in this long, arduous battle.

Before Kip took the stand, Plaintiff Attorney Jill Clark rose to take care of what she called a "housekeeping matter." She wanted to put affidavits in the record, including the affidavit for Kip Browne. Here is the list of affidavits Jill Clark put forth:

Linda Baker. Robert Wilson. LaFayette Butler. Jernell McClane. Alfred Flowers. And Zachary Metoyer.

Judge Porter said, "With the exception of Flowers, those are received." The court reserved ruling on the Flowers affidavit, which was pretty much a bizarre rant about how Council Member Don Samuels supposedly plotted to back into Flowers, step on his feet, get Flowers to shove Don Samuels, and start the video cameras rolling at RIGHT THAT MOMENT. It was apparently Jill Clark's contention that Flowers' affidavit about a "set up" with Samuels tended to corroborate the Jerry Moore "fracas" incident was also a "set up."

Yeah, well, it's about time for an editorial remark, here and now: Jill Clarke, there's no "set up," you lawyer-to-loons. The individuals you represent like Flowers and Moore are temper-prone thugs who can't keep their paws to themselves. That's why they find themselves in this position, and then have to blame their simple, crude, pathetic loss of emotional control on some elaborate conspiracy.

Where was I? Oh, yes, listening in a state of idol worship as "New Majority" Chair Kip Browne took the stand and described his impressive educational background. Browne said he once helped run a non-profit on behalf of a charter school. This was where Browne learned about the need for a non-profit to be open and inclusive. Browne got involved with JACC to improve his neighborhood, in particular with regard to boarded houses and crime. In October of 2007, he was elected to the board.

"Did you have an axe to grind when you were elected?" Defense Attorney David Schooler asked.

"No," Kip answered. Over and over, Kip would give these simple, direct, yes-and-no answers. Browne said "since Ben Myers is an attorney, I thought it would be a professional board." However, Browne discovered things were "rocky" and it was "learn as you go."

Browne said the promulgation of the neighborhood's strategic plan was a "remarkable incident." The contractor was a guy named Todd Barnes, and copies of the finished product were passed around which were, in Kip's understated description, "lacking." Ben Myers, Brian Smith, and Jerry Moore left during the presentation. Myers came back and demanded everybody turn in their copies of the presentation, which had cost $15,000, given to Todd Barnes. 

I will say I have seen the document in question. It has a very unprofessional appearance. I've seen better from college freshmen. Some in the Jordan Neighborhood call this document "the comic book." (Another source says Barnes and Moore are good friends going back to at least the time when they worked in the city council office of Natalie Johnson Lee. Barnes reportedly defaulted on a rather large contract with another non-profit, and Moore was advised by NRP not to have further business dealings with Barnes. But as it became apparent Moore was going to give this contract to Barnes anyway, then NRP advised Moore not to pay up front, to get the finished product and then pay. But Moore didn't even do THAT. He paid everything up front)

Browne said the Myers board was "secretive." Jerry Moore made some changes to the strategic plan, but Kip Browne thought the revised version was "equally deficient." In yet another classic understatement, Browne said "the conclusions didn't seem to be driven by the data" and the strategic plan was "not addressing crime and boarded houses."

Moving on to the subject of grievances, Browne said during this time there was "distrust between those in control of the organization" (the executive board) and members of the community. Grievances were being filed left and right. Around this time, according to Browne, "Jerry Moore floated a concept or idea there were one year terms." Browne described Moore as "obnoxious and rude," and said Moore had "published an unvetted slate of candidates, never mailed notification to the community, created a ballot nobody on the committee saw and authorized some expenses to Linda Baker."

According to Browne, Moore not only told Browne that he (Browne) "like(s) to kiss the white man's ass" but, in fact, Moore said this to Browne TWICE. Whether you believe Moore or Browne, it is undisputed between the two of them that Jerry Moore, JACC Executive Director at that time, told Browne something about how Browne "kisses ass."

Browne went on to discuss how, on November 12, 2008, the board members voted to extend their own terms, and then participated in the elections of executive officers.

Flashing forward to "the fracas" involving Jerry Moore on the night of board elections, in January of 2009, Kip Browne recalled a woman named "Catrice Champion" was talking to Denny Wagner about youth programs. In the course of this conversation, Wagner patted Moore on the back in what Browne would characterize as "a sarcastic manner." Jerry then swiped at Moore with an open hand to the face, "Like a cat," Browne said.

I couldn't help but think of another name for "cat," but this is mostly a family blog.

At that point, according to Browne, Jordan super-volunteer Megan Goodmundson came close to Moore and said, "Jerry, don't do that, that's criminal." Jerry shoved Megan backwards. At that point board member PJ Hubbard went up to Jerry and said, "You're out of order, you don't put your hands on a woman like that." Moore hit PJ in the forehead and PJ's glasses flew off. Kip Browne recalls Moore being "restrained" and "escorted out a back door" by "church people."

Attorney David Schooler turned the questioning to Moore's application for unemployment compensation. Browne said he had received an unemployment submission from Moore. No employment contract was contained within this submission. Having now reviewed the alleged and purported Jerry Moore employment contract, Browne feels the fracas incident fits under the "moral turpitude" clause of the document.

"What was the reason for Moore's termination?" Schooler asked.

"Misconduct," Browne answered, simply.

Shortly after that, some discussion came up about the whereabouts of evidence, and Judge Porter--in a tone that was half kidding, but the other half was NOT kidding, and the two halves didn't necessarily weigh the same, oh no,--said something a little like this:

"I just recalled there was this typical remark by Ms. Clark about not getting something which, this time, actually turned out to be true!" (Usually she's complaining about) "not getting stuff from these people, and blah dee dah. I just wanted to make sure she is off that particular rant now."

In fact, Porter went on to use the word "rant" twice. I tried to write all of it down, but it was hard. Porter was on a roll, laying into Jill Clark, and Clark had no choice but to paste a fake smile on her face because, hey, it's THE JUDGE, after all. It's the guy who is going to decide the case. You can't bicker with him like you can with opposing council. I remember thinking how this little aside by the judge was the clearest indication I'd seen about how he regarded Jill Clark and her case: with disdain.

Soldiering on bravely with what seemed, at that point, pretty much a doomed loser case just waiting to get drop-kicked to the Fourth of July, Clark proceeded to cross examine Kip Browne. She introduced into evidence an email from Megan Goodmundson to Kip Browne, dated January 9, 2009, in regard to a woman named "Tamara Hardy." Browne said Hardy's name was removed because her employment could not be verified despite numerous attempts.

Clark asked Browne "what about inclusiveness?" Browne answered Hardy had every opportunity to prove her employment and yet she didn't.

Clark switched gears and asked if Kip Browne knew what a blog was. Of course, Kip answered, he knew. Then he added, "You mean like Johnny Northside?"

Dang. I owed Kip a drink. Or, more precisely, Kip (who had owed me two drinks) now owed me merely ONE drink.

"Should JACC financial details appear on public blogs?" Clark asked.

Browne said he didn't disagree with that. Let the financial details be on the blogs. There is nothing to hide.

In regard to officer elections, Browne asserted board members are elected first, THEN officers are elected. Clark, seemingly reading from a prepared question, asked, "What plan was there for a smooth transition when removing the Executive Director and all the executive officers in one night?"

"We were going to handle it," Browne answered.

There's your answer, I thought. The question was rather like, "What plan was there for a smooth transition when taking back the cockpit from the hijackers?"

The day of testimony ended. More to follow.

SOON, I promise.


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Contemplating More Culinary Adventures At Bangkok Market...

Photo By John Hoff

So regular readers already know of my rather expansive and open-minded attitudes toward the food of various cultures, and North Minneapolis is pretty much an endless buffet of exotic opportunities...if you know where to look, because heaven knows we need more upscale restaurants around here, and the ethnic food stores don't always jump out at you.

But I often manage to find something interesting at Bangkok Market, near the corner of Lyndale Ave. N. and Lowry, in the heart of planned commercial development as part of the Hawthorne neighborhood's Eco Village cluster. A few days ago...

I was checking out their great assortment of frozen fish--including some really exotic stuff--and I came upon this item: apple snails, each of them as big as a golf ball. Oh my word. It's like escargot, one of my favorite foods, only BIGGER and, actually, a whole lot cheaper.

Only problem: based on my internet research, the preparation of apple snails is rather complex and involved. And I really don't feel a lot of confidence tackling it. Really, what attracts me to these apple snails more than my desire to EAT THEM UP YUM is their lovely dark green shells. I just want to grasp those shells in my hands, sopping with melted herbal butter, slipping and sliding from my fingers, but ultimately cornered with a fork.

Also, I happen to be the only person in the world I know who "recycles" sea shells. So I think how much fun it would be to take those apple snail shells to my usual private shell recycling spot, and cast them upon the water, chasing that "buzzy feeling of oneness with the earth" which makes recycling not a burden, but a pleasure.

Sigh. Exotic apple tree snails. Maybe some day, when there's less 311 calls to make to turn my neighborhood around, and more time to cook things, drink wine, sample the exotic.

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NoMi Candy To Promote Our Neighborhood...



Photos By John Hoff

A few days ago, Realtor Connie Nompelis (No-buhl-iss, it's Greek) was passing out candy like it was Halloween, promoting the NoMi neighborhood branding effort with M & Ms bearing the words "GET TO NOMI." A lot of this candy was handed out at the Victory 44 restaurant and bar right after the NoMi calender photo shoot.

"How much did you pay for these?" I asked.

"Too much," she answered.

"Seriously," I pressed. "HOW MUCH?"

She answered $50 for four bags. Is there any crazy thing we won't do to support our neighborhood and push forward its rapid revitalization?

I should add that Victory 44 restaurant has calamari that tastes like it was made by squid-loving angels, plus at least one VERY HOT WAITRESS who was willing to pose for a photo with Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes just because...well, why not? He is the Hawthorne Hawkman, after all, and X-men mutants need love, too. (See prior post about Jeff's long, slow physical recovery after taking on some evil phone book dumpers)

I asked the waitress if any "Victory 44" shirts were for sale and she said, well, there had been some talk, recently, about selling some of the shirts to customers. I said if the bar shirts said something about the "NoMi" neighborhood, well, then I'd buy one for sure.

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NoMi Calendar Photo Shoot At North United Methodist...

Photos By John Hoff

A few days ago, about three dozen North Minneapolis citizens showed up at North United Methodist for a photo shoot. The images are intended for a NoMi calendar which will promote our rapidly changing and revitalizing neighborhood...


Pictured above, from top to bottom, Officer Mark Klukow, who has been very willing to lend his smoldering good looks to NoMi promotion efforts. Second photo, Realtor Connie Nompelis (No-buhl-iss, it's Greek) shares some "GET TO NOMI" M & M's with "Tre," who is the son of Nicole and Cliff Doran.

In the next photo, to the right, Connie Beckers the "Goddess of Glass." The woman to her left is Connie's friend and personal tattoo artist. The last photo shows the church marquee, which gives notice that North United Methodist is a "hate free zone."

On less than a shoe string budget, with only informal ad hoc organization behind it, the NoMi branding effort moves forward with great energy.

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26th Ave. N. Street Repairs Finally Happen...


Photos By John Hoff

Yesterday, a work crew appeared on 26th Ave. North, a street which has been severely in need of repair for SEVERAL YEARS. I first saw them near Dupont Ave. N. They were working very hard, putting their backs into the task.

The repairs are very welcomed, especially with so many home buyers coming to NoMi and looking for bargains.

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

North Minneapolis Is Going NoMi...

Photo By Jeff Skrenes

The NoMi branding effort continues to gain ground in North Minneapolis. Here is Kathy Welch, the office administrator for the Hawthorne Neighborhood, posing with her van.

If you have your own great "Get To NoMi" photo, send it to me at hoffx106@umn.edu and maybe you'll see yourself on Johnny Northside Dot Com.

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Can Historical Home Research In Minneapolis Really Be THIS Easy?

Photo By John Hoff

In a previous blog post, I wrote about how easy it was to find "original building permits" by using a computer in the same office where building permits are granted, and the wealth of fascinating factual nuggets which can be obtained that way. Here's another cool trick I learned while doing a bit of paid historical research for Realtor Connie Nompelis (No-buhl-iss, it's Greek) on some cool old houses in NoMi, including her $7,900 house...

There is a guy named Ian Stade who works in the Special Collections of our city's public library system, and if you send Ian an email and say, "Ian, can I get the Original Building Card for such-and-such address in PDF form" in a short while Ian will send you a helpful email, with attachments. These cards contain different info than the "original building permits," like who put plumbing into the house in 1907.

I hope Ian doesn't kill me for this. This historical information is so valuable, so enlightening, and does so much to make people feel a part of the tapestry of their communities. And it's so easy to get if you just know where to ask.

Ian's email is ICStade@hclib.org

Ian, you're doing a great job. Tell your boss I said you deserve a raise.


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In Flanders Fields The Poppies Blow, Between The Crosses Row On Row...

Photo By John Hoff

Like many red poppies, a couple days ago scarlet-colored notices appeared on many doors around my neighborhood, all dated June 2, all announcing a pending water utility shut off...

I hadn't noticed the vacant nature of a few of those houses, until the day that paperwork hit the door and, oh gee, now I see the grass has gotten quite long.

I thought of the poem "Flanders Fields," about the flowers "between the crosses row on row." The poem is about soldiers who died during World War One, and it's a rather famous poem. The red poppy image lives on in the paper poppies sold by wounded veterans organizations for fund raising.

I see those shut off notices, and I see red poppies. Here a dream fell. Here a home died. Maybe the dream was just a dream of making lots of money in real estate. Maybe the home was not particularly happy. Or maybe the home WAS happy. Maybe that home meant EVERYTHING to the people who lived there. On the porch of this house, pictured above, children's toys are tossed about, helter skelter.

It was, however, a beautiful day and these were beautiful houses. The dreams may be dead, but the houses remain, ready to be reborn and filled with new families. In the midst of this terrible struggle over mortgage foreclosure, and outright mortgage fraud, and houses missing their copper pipes...in the midst of this chaos comes opportunity.

The larks, still bravely singing, fly/
Scarce heard amid the guns below/

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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

So-Called "Mural" Finally Gets Painted Over On West Broadway...

Photo By John Hoff

Months ago, I called 311 on some graffiti on West Broadway, a big "tag" (piece of graffiti) on top of a vacant furniture store which read (if I recall correctly) "SICK SHOCK."

To my amazement, I received an email reply from the 311 system, bearing a response I'd never had before to calling in graffiti, something I do almost daily, and sometimes half a dozen times a day.

Waiting at a bus stop? Time on my hands? Call in the graffiti. Call in the potholes. Call in the vacant yards needing to be mowed. Do something useful instead of twiddling thumbs, waiting for the bus.

But a response on this tag took a long time, And then, finally, I got a very odd message from the 311 system...

Supposedly, the plain black and white letters saying "SICK SHOCK" were somebody's idea of an artistic mural. Strange but true! 


I could hardly believe this response. I was getting set to call the office of Don Samuels (who actually responds to our neighborhood needs, though he's not Hawthorne's council person) and say to him, "Don, what's up with THIS? How can they call this crap a MURAL? Isn't there some kind of committee to decide this stuff and overrule a designation like that?"

So, yeah, I was ready to contact Don Samuels and say all that stuff when, unexpectedly and inexplicably, the graffiti just got painted over and disappeared. After they claimed it was a mural...they just painted it over.

Well, no matter. Maybe somebody just got some good sense. Maybe graffiti will finally stay off that wall. I'm not holding my breath, though. 


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Drug Traffic Stronghold Falls Hard...

Contributed Photo 

Here is an image forwarded to me of 3020 6th St. N., the drug traffic stronghold in the heart of the Hawthorne Eco Village redevelopment cluster project, now utterly vacant and fallen to the forces of neighborhood revitalization....

How many days, weeks, months did we watch the person we called "The Sentry" standing at this doorway, selectively letting in drug traffic? He would latch and unlatch the door, a primitive but effective enough security system. Turns out the "eye and hook" device didn't even have an eye, merely a couple nails.

As my contributor asked, rhetorically, "How often was this hook unhooked for a hooker?"

But now the mighty fortress has been breached, and we see how pathetic and desperate its defenses actually were. From the other side of the captured door, we see what "The Sentry" saw over and over, we stand in his shoes, and the fortress is no longer in their hands. We can, if we wish, take triumphant trophy photos.

At some point I will grow tired of crowing about the fall of 3020 6th St. N.

But clearly not yet.

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Photo Surfaces Of 3020 6th St. N. Evacuation...

Yup, It's A Photo

A low quality but perfectly adequate photo has surfaced of the evacuation of 3020 6th St. N., during which the druggie denizens of that address simply moved shop over to 3007 3rd St. N., carting off their nasty mattresses, ewwwwww. 

Of course, if citizens had the ability to search City of Minneapolis property records by "name of owner" as search criteria, we would have known SEVEN MONTHS AGO about who owned 3007 3rd St. N., and how that house needed to be on our neighborhood radar or it could become another crack house like 3020 6th St. N.

Anyway, if anybody (such as the police, cough cough) needs an image documenting what I and others witnessed--that the denizens of 3020 6th St. N. simply moved their stuff to 3007 3rd St. N.--here's a photo from that night to back up eyewitness accounts.

Yes, citizens need this ability to easily, efficiently search out "bad actor" property owners. But as tough as our struggle may be at times, let there be no doubt about one thing: We are winning. We are kicking butt. And the results at 3020 6th St. N. are a major piece of evidence to prove this assertion. As pictured here, the thugs and druggies pack up and move like desert nomads, their beds literally out in the street.

(Do not click "Read More")

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Progress At 3020 6th St. N., The Notorious Former Crackhouse...


Photos By Jeff Skrenes

With the notorious address of 3020 6th St. N. now vacant, the property has fallen under the "adopt vacant houses" mandate of the City of Minneapolis, and active, involved neighbors are getting up close to check the condition and make sure trespassers--like the former druggie occupants--aren't getting inside.

Of course, there is also a degree of compassion for the former occupants...

It's hard to call police when once sees them merely fetching, for example, their stereo left out on the porch. Of course, if they hang around for any significant period of time, one quickly thinks, "Are they looking to make a drug deal with anybody who walks up?"

It's not like the foot traffic has stopped, after all, though it has dropped off precipitously.

These photos were taken a few days ago by Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes, before the front door was finally screwed shut to stop the foot traffic going into the porch. Yesterday, Neighborhood Chairman Peter Teachout told me police were out at the property, including Lt. Rugel of the Fourth Precinct.

(God bless the Fourth Precinct)

Calm and lawfulness has descended upon this part of the Hawthorne Eco Village cluster project. This area has gone from being one of the worst, to one of the safest. However, we can't yet rest on our progress and must still constantly look for the next threat, the next breach of our newfound security.

I'm told back in the mid-1960s some folks in this part of North Minneapolis didn't feel the need to lock their doors. Now we are pushing our reality to where we wish it to go, back to the days when neighborhood safety and security was like the water in which a fish swims, not noticed, taken for granted.

The owner of this very property swore up and down "nothing will ever change." If Evannor "The Devil" Haymon said it once, he must have said it a million times. When would it sink in? When would we GET IT? THIS IS HOW IT IS.

But now we stand on the vacant steps of 3020 6th St. N. and pose for trophy photos. Reality is what we wish it to be, what we work each day to make it become. It doesn't have to be what's already there, what we accept because we are afraid to hope and dream of something different, better, something close to heaven on earth.

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hawthorne Housing Director On The Long, Slow Road To Physical Recovery After Freak Phone Book Dumping Incident...




Photos By John Hoff, top photo is contributed

As revealed in a previous (parody) blog post, Hawthorne's Housing Director, Jeff Skrenes, was tragically injured in a freak phone book dumping incident. Fortunately, he has been recovering thanks to the love of his friends and endless hours of painful physical therapy.

OUR NEIGHBORHOOD IS SOOOOOOOO GOING TO SUE DEX OVER THIS...

Details have emerged about the incident, which involved a massive amount of Dex phone books loaded into a nefarious, clearly illegal device known as the Dumpinator 3000.

In order to understand how the accident happened, you need to know something about the personality of Jeff Skrenes. If Jeff were a Marine, he'd be the kind of Marine who would throw himself on a grenade to save his buddy. And then his buddy would say, "Dude, what are you DOING? That's one of MY grenades, and I haven't even PULLED THE PIN!"

On the day of the accident...and we're still not sure precisely what day that was, due to uncertainty about how long Jeff laid unconscious on that old, rotten porch...Jeff had assumed his "Hawthorne Hawkman" superhero persona, and was out patrolling for slumlord evil when he caught site of the Dexmobile going around with a load of phonebooks made from virgin Canadian forests. The Dexmobile had a frightening new feature...some kind of powerful catapult device, capable of hurling phone books long distances with great force.

At that very moment, the Dex Mobile was heading right toward some run down "249 list" properties with boarded up windows, missing copper pipes, weeds in the yard rapidly becoming a prairie eco system, and probably about a dozen old, rotting phone books already stacked up on the porch. Both of those particular buildings were slated for demolition in the near future as part of neighborhood revitalization efforts.

Inexplicably, irrationally desperate to save the doomed and blighted property from yet one more injury and/or insult, Jeff put himself between the rotting front porch and the business end of the Dumpinator 3000, and...and...

Well, initially it was thought the force which hit Jeff square in the chest was roughly equal to a redwood tree, 30 feet in diameter, falling over...but recently the estimate has been revised to "a fully loaded Peterbilt truck, traveling at 60 miles an hour carrying a load of old growth timber." In any case, it messed up Jeff pretty good...though, notably, left virtually intact all the geeky mortgage knowledge packed in his cranium.

Naturally, the Dexmobile never stopped and we have yet to get an apology from the company. (If we did get an apology, it would probably arrive written on the first sheet of a ream of paper, and they'd throw away the rest of the ream) Plans are being laid to "slap Dex with some paper," if you catch my drift.

In the photos above, top to bottom: Jeff relearns the ability to speak with the help of Manny The Talking Bro Buddy, at the Veterans Administration hospital. It's not that Jeff is a VET, mind you, it's just there was some kind of strange mix up when Jeff was being "medically evacuated" by helicopter from the scene of the accident, and somehow Jeff ended up in the VA system.

It's all my fault. Jeff thought my army dog tags were "buff" and he wanted to wear the dog tags while working out at the gym. I was all, like, WHATEVER. You want the army dog tags? You can't HANDLE the army dog tags! But Jeff thought he could, and he was wearing the dog tags that particular day when he stepped in front of the Dumpinator 3000.

Well, technically he's STILL wearing one of the dog tags, since it's now embedded in his lung, too close to his heart to remove, the doctors say.

Everything has worked out all for the good, however. Jeff has been learning interesting stuff from the injured veterans, harsh new tricks he intends to try on the slumlords and phone book companies once he's fully, physically recovered.

In the second photo, since the VA doesn't have a lot of money, Jeff's low-budget physical therapy often involves stuff like "pick up sticks and let's make a campfire" or, "hey, buddy, push my wheelchair to the commissary" or giving endless back massages to cute army nurses.

In the third photo, Jeff shows off the successful results of his VA "chest transplant." Now it turns out Jeff really, truly is part United States Marine. Jeff swears the new chest gives him actual super powers to play the role of "Hawthorne Hawkman" but I said, "Jeff, that's the morphine talking. It's just a regular human chest, I think, but...well, the government. You never know. What do you mean actual super powers?"

And then Jeff proceeded to bend a metal bed frame with his bare hands and I was like, "Whoah! DUDE! That's U.S. Government property. Save that (expletive) for the slumlords."

The last photo shows a cake celebrating Jeff's birthday. It was purchased at the last minute at Keefer Court bakery in the West Bank, as Jeff's friends and relatives rushed to the VA hospital, having received word Jeff had finally regained consciousness and was talking some crazy stuff about...well, geeky mortgage topics, of course.

Oh, GOD!!!!!!!!! My dear friend Jeff, suffering so at the hands of the phone book companies. Transformed--through a mix up in dog tags--into some kind of freaky government X-Man mutant, a fate that was clearly meant for ME!

I can barely bear it!!!! Ayeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

Know this, Dex. THIS I SWEAR UPON THE BLOODIED REMNANTS OF MY FRIEND'S SHIRT, which I used to stop his bleeding when I found him on that porch, yes, the shirt which says "Hawthorne Neighborhood Council," now stained with the blood of my friend, now tied around the bumper of my CHEVY like a martial banner of vengeance...

I will fight your phone book dumping, I will have my dark, horrible "getting even" upon your corporate tree killing evil. THIS IS SWEAR!!!

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Lame Sidewalk Advertising Fades Its Way To Coolness...

Photo By John Hoff

So, several months ago, I was griping about the appearance of sidewalk advertising in the West Bank, near the U of M, and how it was surely the End Times, etcetera.

Recently, I noticed the sidewalk advertising had....

...faded to a faded, ghostly image which was, quite arguably, kind of cool and funky. I thought, well, if that's the way sidewalk advertising looks after a few months...I guess it's not such a bad thing after all. In fact, it's kind of cool and funky.

If only they could skip the whole sidewalk advertising phase and just go right to the funk. Oh well.

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Blog Disclosure About Cash Donations, Plus Doting Dad Post...

Photos by John Hoff

Given the way this blog has become virtually a public resource for news about the great revitalization struggle in NoMi, I feel like it's my duty to disclose where donations to this blog are going. First of all, we're not talking about a lot of donations, here...

I received a check for $100 from a donor in the Jordan Neighborhood, two $25 donations through the PayPal feature, and then another $10 through PayPal. This paid for $110 worth of tire replacement for my damaged tires, and then $55 was mailed to child support for my son, Alex, pictured above.

And while I'm talking about my son, permit me an opportunity to be a doting dad. Alex, who will turn 12 years old on June 11, was recently given an "Eagle Award" for scholastic achievement, and a few days ago I received word of placement in three advanced classes: Algebra, English, and Science. He can be anything he wants to be, of course, but his self-declared plan of going to MIT and learning to make robots...that dream remains steadfast.

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