I went for a walk in the Eco-Village and all I got was this lousy garbage

Photos and blog post by Hans

ALL of this trash came from walking around one square block. Most of it was in the street or jammed into storm drain grates, the rest was hidden in the tall grass and weeds of unkempt boulevards. It took less than an hour to collect all this garbage, call 311 on 3 different properties, call Minneapolis Solid Waste and Recycling on an out of control collection point, and eat a grilled cheese sandwich.

This begs the question... whose responsibility is all of this trash? Obviously the good citizens of Nomi are capable of picking up after those who don't give a flying expletive, and if that's what it takes to live in a decent neighborhood I'm willing to do it, but 2 garbage bags full of litter seems a little excessive for such a small area and makes me wonder at what point the city should start taking responsibility for the actions of it's citizens.

The only good thing I have to report about this round of litter cleanup is...

... I didn't find any diapers.


Click on the pictures for a more detailed view of the filth.

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"Garden Gnome" Candidate Picking Up Steam In His Latest Political Race?

Contributed photo, blog post by John Hoff

Jordan Neighborhood resident Roger Smithrud didn't even come close to beating Council Member Don Samuels for the 5th Ward City Council seat during the last election. However, Smithrud--whose resemblance to a garden gnome is truly eerie--managed to completely dominate, destroy and crush Lennie Chism in that same race, claiming the fourth place slot and forcing Lennie into the political equivalent of getting picked last for dodge ball. Ouch.

Now, drunk on power after his quasi-victory, it appears the garden gnome is making yet another grab for public office. Nobody else really NOTICED, but Smithrud has declared himself a candidate for County Commissioner against Mark Stenglein. Smithrud even has a website of sorts...

...which emphasizes his many years of experience working at a gas station and sorting mail, click here. Truly underwhelming. "A little information about Roger Smithrud?" Only a LITTLE? Like, don't tell us why you're QUALIFIED to be a County Commissioner, just give us a LITTLE info to whet our appetites? Is that supposed to be some kind of LITTLE garden gnome in-joke?

Johnny Northside blog strongly suspects the only reason Roger Smithrud runs for public office is so Smithrud can show up at the victory party of his opponent and be magnanimous, which always results in many free drinks. Though I don't have any particular objection to garden gnomes having a social life however they can acquire one, (shudder) HONESTLY, there's Match Doctor Dot Com and other options BESIDES cluttering up the political arena with the pointless platforms "perennial also-rans."

Roger Smithrud, nobody is interested in your plethora of garden gnome political issues like "stop letting out-of-control-Rottweilers pee on the lawn art" and "there are NATURAL ways to eliminate slug infestation."

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The "Irving Inquisition" Sets Up Shop In North Minneapolis! (This Is Actually A Good Thing)

Stock photo, blog post by John Hoff
All in all, it's just another brick in
the wall.


Yet another blog has been born in NoMi, but it's not a feel-good, happy, positive-thinking kind of blog.

Like this one.

(No, really)

The "Irving Inquisition" blog has announced its negative attitude from the very first post...that is to say, a negative attitude toward slumlords and other "bad actors" who are dragging down standards and livability in North Minneapolis. Click here to check out "The Irving Inquisition" blog.

Johnny Northside Dot Com is excited to welcome another "pro-revitalization" blog on the scene. In fact, we put the "Irving Inquisition" right on our blog roll along with stuff like "JACC Flash NoMi" and the "Hillside Chronicles."

And by the way...I recently tweaked my blog roll so the most recently active NoMi blog will always appear at the top spot. This is my sweet way of telling other NoMi bloggers: do not fall to the bottom, do not rest on your laurels. Put out an UNCEASING ARTILLERY BARRAGE of content, content, content. Tell the stories which must be told in order to expose the bad actors, and continue to help with the process of turning this place into an urban utopia.

(Do not click "Read More")

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Level Three Sex Offender Archie Desmond Randle Moving To 3400 Block Of Logan Ave. N.

North Minneapolis citizens who live near the 3400 block of Logan Ave. N. were already putting up with Level Three sex offender Michael Robert Logeais, who apparently still lives at 3415 Logan Ave. N.

The property is owned by Albert Miller of 2631 Quentin Ave. S., St. Louis Park, MN, 55416.

Now comes word that yet another Level Three sex offender will be jammed into the same block and (one can't help suspecting) possibly even the same house...

Neighbors in the area have been notified that sick puppy Archie Desmond Randle is moving into the 3400 block of Logan Ave. N. Once again, the Minnesota Department of Corrections has allowed a Level Three sex offender to congregate in an area near one of his peers. In fact, these two might be sharing the same house--DOC has allowed it to happen a number of times in North Minneapolis--but this is merely a suspicion, not something I can confirm right now. The minute neighors see Archie Desmond Randle in their neighborhood, I am confident they will report his residency to this blog, and I will publish the information.

At least one neighbor is reportedly contacting his city council person about this outrageous concentration of Level Three sex offenders upon one small block of Logan Ave. N.

Oh, in case you're wondering...Randle's crime involved non-consensual sexual contact with a female in the age 13-15 range, who was a stranger.

(Blog post by John Hoff, DOC mug shots, therefore in the public domain)

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The Relentless March Of NoMi Progress! 823 Penn Ave. N. Will Soon Go Down!

Stock photo and blog post by John Hoff

A super helpful and informative neighbor sends the following information about the unstoppable march of urban revitalization progress in North Minneapolis which is about to roll right over 823 Penn Ave. N.

Utilities have been out to disconnect service. Traffic cones marked the spots.

This is the house where the owner was inadvertently boarded inside.

No wrecking permit on file yet, but the city council minutes show a contract has been awarded.

(Do not click "Read More")

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I Love My Life In NoMi: Medical Study Money Buys A Lawn Mower, Vehicle Battery From Craig's List! (Summer Visitation 2010)

Photos and blog post by John Hoff

I needed a lawnmower, rather than borrowing one all the time. For the record, I actually HAD a lawnmower, but only Peter Teachout could figure out the trick to making it start consistently. One day I just told Peter, "You know that lawn mower we've been sharing? Just consider it YOUR lawn mower for various favors you've done me."

Which left me short a mower. Unless I wanted to borrow one all the time. Fortunately, $20 goes a long way on Craig's List. Though it's tough to make money AND pull off 5 weeks of summer visitation, I managed to sell some of my bodily fluids at the University of Minnesota, for a medical study. A check for $258 arrived the other day, woo hoo.

Call it "blood money."

That cash had places to go, baby, but those places were entirely consistent with my frugal, environmentalist, artistically creative NoMi lifestyle.

First of all, a friend had...

...spotted such a great deal on a Craigs List lawn mower, he bought it for $20, knowing I'd compensate him. So there went $20, and my friend was mighty glad for that Andrew Jackson, because he was broke. Another $20 purchased a much-needed auto battery on Craig's List. When I asked the battery dude where he resided, I found he was so close I could practically walk there. Not only did he sell me a good battery, but he was happy to take the bad one off my hands FOR FREE.

Yet another chunk of change went to my favorite shade tree mechanic, who makes a little money here and there but DOESN'T annoy the heck out of his Northside neighbors with this activity, unlike SOME folks. Mr. Shade Tree fixed a bunch of electrical stuff, including a bad battery cable, pictured, for $75. I also gave him a bike I'd found thrown away--I guess somebody found it easier to throw the bike away than fix the jammed up chain. That's OK, the earth will grow more on a tree like bananas. (Sarcasm font)

My 13-year-old son was along for all these transactions; learning how to get a car fixed cheap, work out barter deals with friends, give a broken, discarded bike a happy new home. Actually, I didn't bring my son Alex right to the clinic where the medical study was conducted, but rather somewhere safe and happy with pizza and internet while I offered up--good lord!--it felt like a QUART of blood. But Alex was fascinated with the idea of making so much money for doing so little. I told him, "You just have to be tough-minded and willing to do WHATEVER."

This series of blood money transactions still left plenty of cash to buy my kid chocolate milk and for, um, a little trip to Wisconsin to, um, look over the fireworks available for purchase in that state. THEORETICALLY, a mere $20 would go a long way on a 2-for-1 sale.

As Spock would say, "Fascinating."

Medical study money is about the easiest money you've ever made in your life, UNLESS you have a problem with needles. I've made plenty of cash this way over the years. It's a simple matter of watching for ads on campus bulletin boards or a student newspaper at any fairly large university. If you want to learn all there is to know about this subject, check out the book Sell Yourself To Science By Jim Hogshire.

I actually knew the author personally, back when I lived in Seattle. Quite a character.

Sometimes my life in Seattle seems like the life of a different person. Home ownership will settle you down as much as having a child, and the two put together will entirely transform you.

But I still make money doing medical studies, whenever I can.

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Trip For Chocolate Milk Costs City Thousands Of Dollars! Plus Other Adventures Of John And His Son Alex! (Summer Visitation, 2010)

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

All Alex wanted was a chocolate milk. We were kicking back at a friend's house, spending lots of time on the internet together, watching Star Wars videos repeatedly, when Alex got a hankering for chocolate milk.

I told him, you know, the nearest place is the "thug store" at 26th and Penn. Are you SURE you want your dad to walk there and get you a beverage on a whim?

Alex announced that was just fine. I could walk to the "thug store" and buy him chocolate milk. So I put on my combat boots and walked to the Penn Gas Stop, where even the cement in the parking lot seems to have a thin layer of filth. As I entered the door, a thug standing near the frozen dairy treats freezer quickly jammed something in his pants at (I presume) the sight of my short military-style haircut which (as many thugs do) he probably thought made me look like a cop. (It also gets me rude treatment at my favorite anarchist cafe, but I keep going there, because--once again--my kid wants chocolate milk)

Within sight of the cash register, inside the store and out of sight of police, multiple transactions appeared to be taking place on cell phones by folks who were just hanging around inside, wearing the same "plain white tees" sold at the store, how convenient. With a beatific and tolerant smile, the clerks were ringing up sales of (inter alia) flaming hot Cheetos.

Wouldn't you know it? They didn't even HAVE chocolate milk. Plus I didn't want to spend even a moment longer inside than was necessary...

Walking outside, I saw a squad car writing some thug a ticket. I waited for the officers to finish, then beckoned to indicate I would like to speak to them. I said rather than calling 911, I wanted to make a verbal report about what I'd seen inside the store. The officer on the passenger side proceeded to tell me the store in question was "tolerating" the blatant drug activity inside, and the city government was unhappy with the store, and bad stuff was coming down the bureaucratic pipeline at that store, you just wait, you'll see.

He also said, "We are going to be around here all day."

I thanked the officer. I didn't even think about the fact this conversation took place in front of the very spot where--a few years ago, in a notorious exchange--an officer told me "Good luck with that" when I spoke of my desire to move into the neighborhood and be involved in the process of turning North Minneapolis into a decent, safe, highly-desirable place to live and raise a family.

So I continued on my walk to find my kid chocolate milk. I probably should have turned right and went to CVS, but something caught my attention and I turned left, instead. I walked all the way down to a gas station on West Broadway near the place where my son helped repair a "rat hole" in a fence where unsavory foot traffic was passing through. I was pleased to see the "vigilante carpentry" midnight repairs in the fence were still holding.

Trying to find my way back to Alex, I walked down Logan Avenue North...and noticed a number of vacant houses which had retaining walls in such bad repair, it was necessary to make 311 reports. Then I started calling about unmowed lawns. Then I realized a squatter had broken into 2444 Logan Ave. N.

By the time I got back to my kid with his chocolate milk, I had managed to make sure city inspectors and lawn mowing contractors would have a great deal of work....probably thousands of dollars worth of labor if you totaled up all the hours. Official letters would go out, reports would be filed which would remain in the system for a very long time...

And all because my kid wanted a chocolate milk!

When I returned, Alex looked up from his computer and asked, "What took you so long?" And I explained how his chocolate milk had sent forth "ripples in the universe."

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Is Hawthorn (sic) Crossings Strip Mall Turning Around?

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Word reaches me from a reliable source saying some of the store owners in Hawthorn (sic) Crossings strip mall believe the drug and loitering-infested area has been "turning around lately" due to increased police presence. In the photo above, City Councilman Don Samuels is pictured with a crew cleaning up litter in the area, and doing a very nice job, I might add.

From where I'm standing, it's hard to notice very much difference at the troubled Hawthorn (sic) Crossings strip mall--though maybe, possibly, I think--there is a slight decline in the number of no-accounts hanging around in the parking lot dealing dope.

However, these no-accounts seem to congregate at the front entrance of a nearby apartment building OWNED BY THE SAME FOLKS WHO OWN HAWTHORN (sic) CROSSINGS STRIP MALL and, of course, the no-accounts also like to hang out in the alley near Burger King, click here.

If the drug-loitering thugs have actually been displaced from Hawthorn (sic) Crossings, they haven't been displaced very far.

(Do not click "Read More")

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Master Engineering To Be Involved In BJ's Replacement Project, Here Are Other Examples Of Their Work

Photos and blog post by John Hoff

Excitement has been building, and discussion growing about the plan to replace the unsightly and tawdry B.J.'s strip club with a bakery and liquor store, hopefully both of the high-end variety. Click here for a blog post announcing the plan to replace B.J.'s, and click here for more discussion.

Clearly, the last thing we need in North Minneapolis would be more liquor stores going out of their way to market to chronic inebriates. Though my position is I would be in favor of a taco stand instead of B.J.'s, (did I mention a vacant lot would satisfy me, too?) But I'm keeping my fingers crossed that "liquor store" means something high-end, with a selection of gourmet foods and NO ATTEMPTS MADE TO CAPTURE THE CHRONIC INEBRIATE MARKET BY, FOR EXAMPLE, SELLING SINGLE PLASTIC CUPS.

As part of this discussion about replacing B.J.'s, I thought it would be good to show...

...examples of two other buildings which show the gorgeous handiwork of Master Engineers. Both of these buildings are quite near the proposed B.J.'s development. The top picture shows one building that houses a legal clinic, the bottom three pictures are all the same building.

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Sudden Activity At 915 22nd Ave. N.

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

A couple days ago I was lucky to run into City Council Member Don Samuels walking around at Hawthorn (sic) Crossings strip mall, a location which has been notorious for loitering and drug activity in the parking lot. But Samuels was just ambulating around in the middle of this tough location in his three-piece suit, talking to various individuals such as store owners and a group of youth picking up litter as part of a summer program.

I had an opportunity to speak to Don Samuels and tell him about an issue I had with a house only a short distance from my own residence. The house at 915 22nd Ave. N. had been torched in an arson and, recently, there has been drug activity as reported by Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes on the Hawthorne Voices blog, click here.

There is the possibility this particular house could be saved by the agency which has somehow come into possession, but I have to wonder if saving the house is even feasible, given the extensive fire damage. And it has been sitting vacant like that for a long, long time since the night of the fire, click here for one of my previous blog reports on the house.

I don't know what Don Samuels did, exactly, but days after he made some phone calls the overflowing dumpster went away (after it sat there a long time) and a workman in a white truck showed up, poking through the charred timbers on the second story.

My attitude about the house is: whatever is going to happen, let's move it forward while there is nice weather. The house has been sitting with a hole in its roof since the night of the arson. And while I've been known to put a nail in a board now and then to secure something which desperately needs to be secured, my particular brand of volunteerism has not yet extended to getting on top of the roof of a vacant house and patching the hole.

But, hey, you never know...

(Do not click "Read More")

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Video Footage of the Elite Shoe Patrol Unit!

Post and video by the Hawthorne Hawkman

After Peter Teachout's send-off party, we celebrated further by going on one final shoe patrol run. For some odd reason, this particular video (the only one taken by yours truly, I might add) was the only one with sound. But it does a pretty good job of demonstrating the difficulties inherent in shoe removal.

Unfortunately, in this video clip, Peter didn't even get the shoes down. What happened was...

...They were tangled up so much that for a while we weren't sure HOW they'd come down. This pair was right in front of a Pamiko house and 619 26th Ave N, a now vacant, but notorious problem property. We were so determined to keep the block clean that I walked home to grab a knife and some tape to affix to the end of one of the boards and cut the shoelaces.

It turns out the only tape I could find was scotch tape I use to seal my comic book covers. Yes, I am a geek. So it was probably a good thing that Peter Teachout is so skilled with the chopstick-and-stilt dexterity needed to remove shoes, and these were down by the time I got back. I did have a respectable knife, though.

After a few other shoes were removed, I departed and missed the most interesting episode of the night due to a pre-existing appointment to do some LED night hula hooping. (Video footage of THAT exists and can be found, but I'm going to get better at filming night hooping before putting direct links here or elsewhere.)

We'll miss you, Peter, but we'll find some way to continue the Elite Shoe Patrol!

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NoMi Artist Mary Martin, Another Hidden NoMi Treasure!

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Mary Martin has a sign on her garage that says "OPEN," but she's not selling anything. She has a huge sculpture on her front lawn which surely fools the eye of 100 percent of the people who see it: the sculpture appears to be metal, but it's really made of hand-carved, painted wood.

I was actually looking to buy a $20 battery from an ad on Craigs List when I accidentally happened upon Mary Martin's studio. Martin showed me the inside of her studio, talked about her art, and discussed where she gets materials. (By the way, Mary Martin is no relation to Mike Martin, the highly-esteemed commander of the Fourth Precinct, which was one of the first questions I asked)

Martin's carving material--some of it very large--comes from trees which have been sawed down in the neighborhood, some quite close to her house. A small network of friends and neighbors are aware of...

...Martin's need for large pieces of wood, and they help Martin.

Martin's art is studio quality, and has been displayed in studios in the past, but Martin seems a bit put off from the studio scene. She speaks of how wood is not as respected of an artistic medium as other forms of expression, except when it's polished and displayed with its natural grain. Try to make something out of wood and paint it, and the artistic world doesn't seem to respect that as much.

Amazingly, Martin will carve a massive portion of a tree trunk--seemingly in love with the feel, the smell, the texture, the complexity of the natural grain--then coat the whole thing with paint. My first impulse would be to think: Why did you do that? Why did you carve it so carefully then slap paint over it? But then I think deeper, and I realize Martin's art is a metaphor for the way people must behave in Western Civilization: we mask our true, complex individual nature beneath a facade of cosmetics, material possessions, acceptable public statements.

I'm not going to print Martin's exact address (she seems private and introverted in some ways) but her studio can be found near 35th Ave. N. and Logan Ave. N. if you're looking for it.
Martin's studio floor appears to have numerous "tattoos" in various languages.
You'd never guess this statue is made of painted wood unless you walked right up and touched it.
During times when she is in her studio, Martin puts up the garage door and puts an "open" sign on the "people door."

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"911 Portals" And Their Role In "Decency Dead Zones"

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

A "decency dead zone" is an area where crime is persistent and dug in deeply, but for a number of reasons--some geographic, some social--nobody consistently calls 911 and 311 on the ongoing problems. Neighbors are either non-existent, waaaaaaay outnumbered, reluctant to get involved, or part of the problem itself. Usually, it's a complex combination of some or all of these factors. The term "decency dead zone" was coined here on this blog.

But, I would assert, URBAN GEOGRAPHY can play more of a role than social variables. There are some places where thugs have clear lines of sight, and can see the police coming from afar, but--worse yet--there are extremely limited "911 portals" nearby.

What, you may ask, is a "911 portal?" Well, once again, it's my own unique term. (Or, more precisely, the term is unique in the way I use it)

Here's what it is...

It's the place where citizens view the activity which causes them to dial 911. So, it may be their front porch, their bedroom window where they can hide behind pink chiffon curtains, or the large picture window in their living room. They look through these portals, view activity, and call 911. Their view from the portal is not all-encompassing: citizens are limited by their own abilities to see, to describe in the English language, to be confident of what they have seen, to react to the situation with clarity and the ability to convey information to the 911 system.

A 911 portal may be the square of sidewalk you stand upon, describing something a block away, worrying that you are out in the open and will be seen by thugs, and retaliated against. The portal might be highly mobile, as when one drives around on Penn Ave. N., calling in hookers, and you can zoom in close, see how the suspects are dressed, and then zoom away to call 911 out of sight.

The citizen using the 911 portal may be caught up in the action itself, and they often are. They may say, "There is a man standing outside my house yelling. What does he look like? Well, I am afraid to go to the window. He has a big hunk of cement, and I'm afraid he will throw it through the window..." Being caught up in the action, or the FEAR of being caught up, limits the willingness of citizens to call 911 in the first place. Of course, citizens who hate and/or fear the police are not going to call 911, even to the extreme of being shot by somebody and refusing to tell the police ANYTHING.

So, when considering a decency dead zone, ask yourself, "Where would somebody look and call 911? Who would that person be? Would that person actually call or avoid calling? How well can that person see from their portal? What would their portal be?"

Thinking like this, go stand somewhere like the Emerson Ave. Market, on Emerson Ave. N.

I would assert there is constant loitering and up-to-no-good hanging out in this area. But who is going to call the police? The people next door who have a loud domestic dispute on their front lawn while citizen do-gooders are trying to get a pair of shoes off the power line? The folks across the street who are seldom seen, seldom heard, heck, who knows if anybody even LIVES in those houses? The situation can fester for years until--for example--some slightly naive person from Wisconsin accidentally buys a house in the middle of a decency dead zone, wakes up one morning, and says, "Oh my God!"

Police procedure itself helps to create the "decency dead zones," because 911 data is used to figure out where cops should patrol. But who is going to call 911 from a window that doesn't EXIST?

The area around the Emerson Ave. Market, Wally's Foods, a certain apartment building near Hawthorne Crossings strip mall, and so forth, these are "decency dead zones." And part of the reason they exist and crime festers there, and police can't seem to get at the crime, is because few "911 portals" are nearby.

In a future blog post, I will discuss the role of "911 citizens," those ultra-involved citizens who, much like the heroes of United Airlines Flight 93--said, "We are going to something."

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Summer's here...Wheres your BBQ?

Photos and blog post by Your Eyedea

Well, it's summer here in NoMi and you know what that means! BBQ! One thing that all of us here in NoMi have in common is the greatness that is a BBQ. Nothing smells better then chicken skin getting caramelized with some homemade BBQ sauce or ribs being smoked with hickory chips and a Kansas City rib sauce with a Northside kick to it. What you do to make these finger licking, lip smacking, many napkin using ribs is......

Brine the ribs. It may sound strange to some of you but it's the first thing you should always do when BBQin' ribs, chicken ect. Or at least that's my mothers motto and I have NEVER not listened to my Mama when it comes to food.

The Brine Follows :
1/2 cup kosher salt Or 1/4th cup table salt
1/2-3/4 cup brown sugar (if ya like it sweet. But I'm already sweet enough)
Gallon of fresh water
10-15 Peppercorns crushed
Few dry bay leafs and crushed
Fresh or dried thyme (1 teaspoon)
Chili flakes (Go light on these because the sauce has kick)
Mustard seeds (Don't go too nuts with them, these are strong lil buggers)
2 sliced lemons (I like to twist them to get all the juice and oils out, same with the orange)
1 sliced orange
1 large onion chopped

Bring water to boil, turn off heat. Add EVERYTHING and let stand until cool.

Take a 3-5 gallon bucket and clean well. Place meat in bucket. ( Be sure to wash hands) Pour brine over meat. I like to put a plate on top and weigh it down with cans or even a clean brick. Cover and put in the fridge over night... DO NOT let it brine more then 24 hours... It will be VERY salty and over power the delicate flavor of white meats. Take the meat out and pat dry with a paper towel.

If you would like to use a rub by all means do so. This is my rub, I like to make big batches of this and put in jars and spread the love..

6 tablespoons mustard (yellow)
2 tablespoons ketchup
3 medium cloves garlic , minced or pressed through garlic press (about 1 tablespoon)
2 teaspoons ground black pepper
1 tablespoon sweet paprika
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 tablespoons kosher salt
3 tablespoons brown sugar

Next thing we do is soak the wood chips in COLD water (the hot water will draw out the flavor of the chips, you need the flavor in the chips, not the water). Let them soak for no longer then an hour. Start your grill. (I tend to use a good amount of coals being that I cook a lot when I use my grill.) If you are using a gas grill I suggest getting a small metal smoke box. Try not to overcrowd it as it will not work properly.

Once the grill is started I bust out my sauce (Pre-made the night or even weeks before hand)

Recipe follows:
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons paprika
1 tablespoon chili powder
2 cloves garlic, minced

(I like to smash the garlic with the side of my knife, add a little salt and scrape the knife while pressing down to make a paste. It tends to blend better and I know not everyone likes chucks of garlic like I do.)

1 teaspoon cayenne (feel free to add more, but beware!)

A shot of Sriracha
A splash of red wine, brandy or whiskey. ( I tried Bison Grass Vodka... VERY good flavor)

Squirt of mustard (any kind will do nicely)

Heat oil in a saucepan. Add garlic and sauté until fragrant. Add remaining ingredients and reduce heat. Simmer for 15 minutes until thickened. I put my sauce in a squeeze bottle I get at a restaurant supply shop.

Once you have your coals/grill ready and everything is set up, this is called Mise en place (everything put in its place). If you are using coals we don't want them too hot so once they turn white spread them and wait 10-15 mins.. drain and put your wood chips on the coals or in the box.. Close lid and get your meat.. When you come back there will be a lot of smoke; don't be alarmed, we need this smoke. So work quickly. Ready?

Open the lid and be sure to turn your head away from the grill to not get smoke in your eyes... Place meat on the grill skin side down leaving at least 3 inches between each piece. Close lid. Now we need that smoke to stay in there so only leave a sliver sized opening on the vent. I can't tell you how long it will take to fully cook the meat, It all depends. American test kitchens Says " They usually are done after 4 hours at 220-225 degrees. The way to tell if there done is the meat will pull back a little from the ends of the bones, and there will be a bit of give if you give one of the bones a twist. I know some people like …" And I tend to agree with them cause they are a very reliable source for cooking instructions.

If you are smoking chicken wings then I would suggest only smoking them for 30-40 mins checking on the to insure they will not burn. About 20 mins in I start to slather the BBQ sauce on to get that nice charred skin.

One of my mother's famous side dishes made on the grill is her balsamic spiked zucchini. Cut three to four zucchini into four pieces the long way, place in a zip top bag with a cup of balsamic vinaigrette, seal the bag and shake (kids LOVE to do this so if you have some around, put them to work!) I also like to add some fresh garlic and more pepper. Let them chill in the bag for a half hour to an hour. Then grill them to your liking. I like them crisp so I cook them for 5 mins each side..Garnish with parsley or fresh thyme.

Now for one of my boyfriend's favorite is my sweet potato pockets. I chop two large sweet potatoes or yams and place in many layers of foil. I put about a stick of butter in the mix, then again, that's just me. Chop the butter into chucks and toss them with the potatoes. Add 3 tables spoons of brown sugar plus salt and tons of crack black pepper. Sprinkle with chili powder and wrap it up and place in on the grill flipping a few times. Takes about 20-40 mins depending on how hot your grill is. I like to garnish with more chili powder.



So now we sit down to eat... But wait... We need something sweet! Another favorite of my boyfriend is grilled peaches with ice cream. Can't go wrong with peaches in the summer right?

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. If your feeling fancy I like to use fresh vanilla beans by cutting them the long way then scraping out the seeds with my knife, mixing it in with the sugar)
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
(if your using the vanilla bean then I'd use granulated white sugar)
fresh peaches (not fully ripe)
grapeseed oil (or vegetable oil) (or BUTTER!)
vanilla ice cream

In a small bowl, combine brown sugar and cinnamon. Cut peaches along the seam all the way around and twist halves off the pit. Brush cut sides with grapeseed oil or vegetable oil. Cook, cut side down, on a hot grill until fruit has grill marks, 3 to 4 minutes. Brush tops with oil, turn over, and move to indirect heat. Sprinkle cut sides with cinnamon sugar. Cover grill and cook until sugar is melted and fruit is tender, 10 to 15 minutes. Serve with vanilla ice cream (sprinkle on extra cinnamon sugar if you like).

Julia Child said it best. "Dining with one's friends and beloved family is certainly one of life's primal and most innocent delights, one that is both soul-satisfying and eternal."

So get out there and cook!!!

Note to readers:

All food items in the photos were purchased from So Low. Just sayin....

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