under First Amendment Fair Comment and Criticism, blog
post by John Hoff
JNS blog previously reported on sex trafficking charges against Julius Roman Stately, pictured above, and two other individuals; Peter Rayfield Butterly and Carly Rae Martin. The criminal complaint (available at previous link) says Julius Roman Stately searched for women to pimp by trolling Facebook.
So naturally JNS blog is going to look the dude up on Facebook, right?
Ah. There he is, click here, but most likely you'll need a Facebook account to make the link work for you. The Facebook profile says "Julius StateLy" (sic) but the URL for the profile actually has all three names, "Julius Roman Stately." It's an incredibly rare name but, maddeningly, what appears to be...
...his Facebook picture bears only a minor resemblance to two mugshots for "Julius Roman Stately," click here and here. And the two mugshots only look like each other a tiny bit.
So either people go around all the time naming their children "Julius Roman Stately" (highly unlikely) or Stately has one of those oft-morphing faces, like the serial killer Ted Bundy. (It's a harsh comparison, even for an alleged human trafficker, and I only mention it because that's the only "morphing face" example that comes readily to mind)
What can be gleaned from Facebook is pretty thin, but one thing I have learned is...
DERP. I've learned the meaning of DERP.
Julius Roman Stately (what's the story behind THAT name?) only has 8 different pictures posted on his Facebook, and three directly reference "DERP" and one appears to allude to the concept of "DERP," as follows:
So half, fifty percent of Stately's photos are about DERP. I may have had some preconceived notion about what I'd find on the Facebook page of an alleged human trafficker but what I found (Derp! Derp!) wasn't anywhere near my mental ballpark. How odd and trivial and random.
I had to look up "Derp," though I assumed being wildly cockeyed was somehow involved. Here's what an excellent website called "Know Your Meme" has to say about it:
The text replicated above is just a taste of the explanation offered by Know Your Meme, which is very nearly ACADEMIC in its thoroughness. But suddenly the connection between "DERP" and human trafficking (did I say alleged? Throw that in there) becomes more apparent. I guess the kids have been saying "DERP" for years and it's only just now come to my attention.
(JNS blog suddenly feels older than dirt and begins humming "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger)
But let's get back to Julius Roman Stately, shall we? His profile pic shows a child who seems to be a young relative (I won't be publishing that) and the child is wearing a funky fake mustache. Then a photo which appears to be two characters from the cartoon South Park wearing makeup like the band "Insane Clown Posse."
Hey, suddenly I don't feel so old after all because I totally knew the image referenced Insane Clown Posse, perhaps best known for their strange and deranged song "If I Was A Serial Killer."
I find the song very upsetting. The correct tense of the verb should be the second conditional utilizing the subjective form, and therefore:
WERE. If I WERE a serial killer.
Back to Stately's profile. There's an image which appears to be young men dressed up like fans of Insane Clown Posse, but it's hard to tell if one of them is Stately or if this is some kind of photo which just floats around on the internet and gets posted to people's Facebook profile. I see the figure in the foreground has a lot of tattoos but is it Stately? Hard to tell.
Stately lists his hometown and Warroad, Minnesota. His work and education are listed as "Blood.Towwn." (Sic)
His list of Facebook friends has many young women and I can't help but wonder if some could be victims of the human trafficking mentioned in the criminal complaint.
So there he is. Julius Roman Stately, the alleged sex trafficker with a strangely fluid face and a love of Southpark. His favorite band is Insane Clown Posse. Sounds kind of like a "single and ready to mingle" dating profile, now don't it?
Oops, I mean "doesn't" it.
Dang. I guess I'm not so perfect, either. But if the polemic world of Johnny Northside can be easily divided into "no accounts" versus "decent people," and categorizing criteria had to be determined because there are no PERFECT people, after all...
Well, one very easy way to sort out the sheep from the goats would be...
Don't engage in human trafficking.