Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Face Of An Alleged Human Trafficker, Who Has Odd Facebook Obsession With "DERP" Which I Totally Had To Look Up On Know Your Meme Dot Com...

Facebook photo, Julius Stately, (Julius Roman Stately) used
under First Amendment Fair Comment and Criticism, blog
post by John Hoff

JNS blog previously reported on sex trafficking charges against Julius Roman Stately, pictured above, and two other individuals; Peter Rayfield Butterly and Carly Rae Martin. The criminal complaint (available at previous link) says Julius Roman Stately searched for women to pimp by trolling Facebook. 

So naturally JNS blog is going to look the dude up on Facebook, right? 

Ah. There he is, click here, but most likely you'll need a Facebook account to make the link work for you. The Facebook profile says "Julius StateLy" (sic) but the URL for the profile actually has all three names, "Julius Roman Stately." It's an incredibly rare name but, maddeningly, what appears to be... 

...his Facebook picture bears only a minor resemblance to two mugshots for "Julius Roman Stately," click here and here.  And the two mugshots only look like each other a tiny bit. 

So either people go around all the time naming their children "Julius Roman Stately" (highly unlikely) or Stately has one of those oft-morphing faces, like the serial killer Ted Bundy. (It's a harsh comparison, even for an alleged human trafficker, and I only mention it because that's the only "morphing face" example that comes readily to mind) 

What can be gleaned from Facebook is pretty thin, but one thing I have learned is...

DERP. I've learned the meaning of DERP. 

Julius Roman Stately (what's the story behind THAT name?) only has 8 different pictures posted on his Facebook, and three directly reference "DERP" and one appears to allude to the concept of "DERP," as follows:

So half, fifty percent of Stately's photos are about DERP. I may have had some preconceived notion about what I'd find on the Facebook page of an alleged human trafficker but what I found (Derp! Derp!)  wasn't anywhere near my mental ballpark. How odd and trivial and random. 

I had to look up "Derp," though I assumed being wildly cockeyed was somehow involved. Here's what an excellent website called "Know Your Meme" has to say about it: 


Derp is an expression associated with stupidity, much like the earlier forms of interjections like “duh” and “dur.” In image macros, the subject is typically portrayed with eyes that are pointed to each side and a caption that reads “DERP.” The words “herp” and “derp” are often used in rage comics to replace nondescript names or parts of conversation. See also: Are You a Wizard.


The first known instance of the word “derp” comes from the 1998 comedy film Baseketball by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. During a scene where they are caught smelling underwear taken from a woman’s private drawer, Matt runs out of the room and says “Derp.”


The text replicated above is just a taste of the explanation offered by Know Your Meme, which is very nearly ACADEMIC in its thoroughness. But suddenly the connection between "DERP" and human trafficking (did I say alleged? Throw that in there) becomes more apparent. I guess the kids have been saying "DERP" for years and it's only just now come to my attention. 

(JNS blog suddenly feels older than dirt and begins humming "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger) 

But let's get back to Julius Roman Stately, shall we? His profile pic shows a child who seems to be a young relative (I won't be publishing that) and the child is wearing a funky fake mustache. Then a photo which appears to be two characters from the cartoon South Park wearing makeup like the band "Insane Clown Posse." 

Hey, suddenly I don't feel so old after all because I totally knew the image referenced Insane Clown Posse, perhaps best known for their strange and deranged song "If I Was A Serial Killer." 

I find the song very upsetting. The correct tense of the verb should be the second conditional utilizing the subjective form, and therefore:  

WERE. If I WERE a serial killer.

Not "was."


Back to Stately's profile. There's an image which appears to be young men dressed up like fans of Insane Clown Posse, but it's hard to tell if one of them is Stately or if this is some kind of photo which just floats around on the internet and gets posted to people's Facebook profile. I see the figure in the foreground has a lot of tattoos but is it Stately? Hard to tell. 

Stately lists his hometown and Warroad, Minnesota. His work and education are listed as "Blood.Towwn." (Sic)

His list of Facebook friends has many young women and I can't help but wonder if some could be victims of the human trafficking mentioned in the criminal complaint. 

So there he is. Julius Roman Stately, the alleged sex trafficker with a strangely fluid face and a love of Southpark. His favorite band is Insane Clown Posse. Sounds kind of like a "single and ready to mingle" dating profile, now don't it?

Oops, I mean "doesn't" it.

Dang. I guess I'm not so perfect, either. But if the polemic world of Johnny Northside can be easily divided into "no accounts" versus "decent people," and categorizing criteria had to be determined because there are no PERFECT people, after all... 

Well, one very easy way to sort out the sheep from the goats would be...

Don't engage in human trafficking. 



Anonymous said...

Don't engage in human trafficking. Don't fail to use the proper subjunctive tense. Don't get tattoos. If those aren't one's top three rules for life, they should be.

Anonymous said...

Notorious name in the native community but, oddly enough, this guy has relatives who are some of the best people and most respected folks around. One stray dog.

Anonymous said...

Now the kid is marked and will be dealt with. Thank you John.

Anonymous said...

Idiot. (I mean you, Johnny.)

Johnny Northside! said...

I don't know ANYTHING about his "name in the native community." Can you elaborate?

Anonymous said...

You get a comment on the priors that is hung up somewhere? Sent in a day or two ago.

Case No. 68-K6-05-000124 The State of Minnesota vs. JULIUS ROMAN STATELY
Felon Convicted Crime of Violence - Firearm Violation 609.165.1b Felony 02/17/2005"

Plea 1. Felon Convicted Crime of Violence - Firearm Violation

Anonymous said...

Never mind the missing comment shows on the other Julius Stately post.

Add Red Lake to the last name and google.

Any relation between Julius Roman Stately and "Terin Rene Stately, age 25, also of Red Lake" is unknown.

More on Terin Rene Stately of Red Lake here:
"News and Press Releases
Three sentenced in connection with 2011 New Year Day robbery and killing on Red Lake Indian Reservation

September 27, 2013"

Anonymous said...

Additional links:

U.S. v. NEEDHAMCrim No. 12-206(5) (DWF/LIB).
Kevin John Needham, a/k/a "KJ" Defendant.
United States District Court, D. Minnesota.
December 10, 2012.

Anonymous said...

You should talk to our Native American friends and you may be surprised at what you find out about there long history and great contributions to North Minneapolis.

Johnny Northside! said...

And some troll who likes to stir up trouble takes on a fake character and makes a fake comment. Sad. Hey, what if it turns out you're NOT anonymous but I can actually figure out who you are, even (to a high degree of certainty) PROVE who you are?

Anonymous said...

Try Juelz Stately on Facebook. This might be your man. Google maps himself to Plymouth, has the same ghastly tats.

Anonymous said...

Go for it! (And who is the one who likes to "stir up trouble," John?)

Anonymous said...

Pot calling the kettle black Johnny!

Anonymous said...

Must have been in prison a long time to get that decorated.

Anonymous said...