Photo By John HoffA couple days ago, a friend and I were at the house near the Jordan Pond when we saw an amazing sight from the living room window. A young man dressed in an M&M jacket was walking down the street and urinating at the same time. If you must know the clinical details, he sort of angled the urine stream off to the left so he wouldn't walk in his own puddle. And, yes, he was walking forward; not backward.
It's hard to estimate the water pressure, but I'd say he had about a three foot stream going at his max.
And he was just walking like that, oh-so-casual, not stopping or making use of any urban ground cover to hide his bodily function; like ambulating and urinating at the same time was as common as walking and chewing gum. I managed to snap a picture when he was a good ways down the street.
We called the police, of course...
...and you might think "the ambulatory urinator" could have been tracked down easily enough, but somehow he managed to elude authorities and (one suspects) continue his crime spree.
And, really, in a sense it's for the best. I mean, about a year ago I was getting a lot of milage writing about Khameron "The Shitter" Lake who once haunted the alleys of the Eco-Village with his notable habit of taking a dump WHEREVER and using an ENTIRE SHIRT to clean up. But Khameron doesn't seem to be around anymore and we've completely turned the Eco Village around.
So here we have a new character who suddenly, dramatically appears and then mysteriously disappears into (as it were) the steaming mists of urban legend...
if this is how gangs are marking their territory now, i preferred the shoefetti.
ReplyDeleteI think pee and walk is a better plan."The Shitter" shat in one place - too concentrated - harder to clean up. This guy could have taught "The Shitter" a thing or... (# 2)
ReplyDeleteWe saw somebody doing this on Broadway a couple days ago. Not sure if it was the same guy, or a new thing the kids are doing.
ReplyDeleteI once saw a guy poop and walk at the same time. As I watched him walking down the street, I saw a piece of poop fall out of his pant leg.
ReplyDeleteIt seems unlikely that a guy can make it through his 20s these days without succumbing to the need to urinate in public (by its technical definition, of course) at least once in his life. That said... I'm sure many of us have peed outside when we should have peed somewhere else. Nevertheless, the brazeness of this act is such that I cannot help but hope this guy gets swooped by a bird of prey the next time he tries this. I guess I'm just thankful you aren't blogging about an ambulatory defacator.
ReplyDeleteSometimes living in North Minneapolis is like living in a neighborhood of two year olds.
"A step in the right direction" because it seems that maybe they are afraid to loiter now for fear of being caught?
ReplyDeletethere are only a couple of M&M jackets running around. I'll give them special attention.
ReplyDelete-just a cop
matbe he was a athlete. Ya know they RUN and pee/poop!
ReplyDelete