Squatter Activity At 3011 6th St. N.

Photo by Peter Teachout, Jr., Age 6


Jeff called me today about an incident at 3011 6th St. N., the house with the cheap veneer porch door...

Jeff was checking on the house--because the door was kicked all the way in--and he encountered a man sleeping on the porch in a blanket. Jeff asked the man's business with the house, and the guy claimed to be a contractor working on the property.

You've got to wonder what a contractor would be doing on an unlocked porch, sleeping out there where any crackhead could walk up and stab him. But Jeff had to take the man at his word because 1.) the guy was huge and muscular, bigger than Jeff, who is quite a corn-fed Midwestern boy himself, 2.) Jeff didn't have his vehicle, but was on foot, and in no position to lock his car door and start calling 911 in front of "Mr. Contractor."

How many times have I told Jeff (and Peter, for that matter) your vehicle is the most powerful weapon you possess, with the possible exception of a cell phone?

Jeff called me for my view on the incident. It had happened a few minutes before, and Jeff was now back at the HACC office. I told Jeff I'd turn my vehicle around and go right to the property to deal with this.

When I arrived, the so-called "contractor" was gone, but he'd left fresh urine all over the front steps. The blanket was still on the porch. After calling the real estate company to say I-told-you-so about the unsecured porch, and after calling 311 to confirm there was no building permit on the property, (therefore making the far-fetched "contractor" tale even less likely) acting under the authority of the city's "adopt houses" mandate I picked up the blanket and left a note telling the squatter NOT to be using the porch.