Become A "Yellow Pages Termite," And Join The Doorstep Liberation Front

Photo By John Hoff

Ed Kohler of The Deets blog has been sifting internet data for valuable intelligence about THE ENEMY, which in this case is not crack heads or copper thieves but the thoughtless tree-killing corporate clones who dump unwanted phone books on our doorsteps...

Ed turned up this URL to an industry-insider discussion (click here) about unwanted phone book dumping, which Ed refers to as "Yellow Pages delivery spam."

It turns out the Association of Directory Publishers convened in San Antonio, where they quickly learned "Alamo" means "Cottonwood," so they formed a pinstriped posse and proceeded to downtown San Antonio, shouting "yee haw," to see if there were any cottonwoods left in the vicinity of The Alamo which they could grind up and turn into paper pulp.

Disappointed to find there are relatively few trees in San Antonio, they reconvened at their hotel where they solaced themselves by wasting as many paper cocktail napkins as possible and "TP-ing" their hotel rooms before hearing a speech from Ken Clark, one of the top consultants in the country. (According to...Clark, I guess)

Clark presented an "update on the state of the industry" where he said bad industry press was outweighing the good press (for this they pay him WHAT?!) and he cited TheDeets.Com as an example of bad press the industry is receiving.

Way to go, Ed.

The URL in question (click here) has a comments section, and I made a point of submitting something along the lines of "you should all be arrested for littering" and hoping aloud neighborhoods will start suing the phone book companies. It's an open thread. Johnny Northside readers are urged to have fun, especially since all this writing is VIRTUAL and no trees will be sacrificed for your self-expression.

Join the Doorstep Liberation Front today, and become a "Yellow Pages termite."