Photos By Megan GoodmundsonOn Saturday, most of the people who I hang out with regularly were all at the 331 Club in Northeast Minneapolis, attending the "Drunken Spelling Bee." Meanwhile, I was sipping chocolate milk and watching cartoons with my 11-year-old son. When I went out to get more milk, I ended up calling 911 on a drug dealer...last I saw, his ass was sitting in the back of a squad car.
This was right near Hawthorn (sic) Crossings Strip Mall, of course, your West Broadway one stop open air drug market. That's how they spell it, too, "Hawthorne" without the "e" at the end. Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes informs me of an actual nightmare he had recently which involved the Hawthorne Neighborhood changing the spelling of its name. In any case...
...the Homewood enclave of the Willard-Hay neighborhood had high hopes for victory in the 311 Bar drunken spelling bee. Homewood resident Brian Reichow--he of "Casa Del Brian"--is an actual spelling bee champion, who proudly displays his trophy silver cup in his office. So Brian was sort of a "ringer" for Willard-Hay, and we were all looking forward to seeing this Northern Minneapolis resident walk away with a victory.
(Yes, "Northern" Minneapolis. Brian Reichow pioneered the practice of calling the Homewood Neighborhood "Northern" Minneapolis because, well, everything is different in Homewood and doesn't fit the pattern of the rest of North Minneapolis. Let's start with...mansions and very little crime.)
Brian went far in the spelling bee, but then got eliminated with the word "tatterdemalion." This word is, A.) stupid, B.) practically a made-up word, based on my 45 seconds of Google research, C.) if not made-up, then archaic, and therefore shouldn't be used in a spelling bee, D.) couldn't even be heard well above the bar din, according to witnesses.
I officially protest Brian's elimination over this STUPID word. Rematch!!!!! Preferably some weekend when I don't have my kid!!!!
Jordan resident Megan Goodmundson suggested Brian should have deliberately dropped out early, then strategically used the "underwear round" to rejoin the bee in his skivvies. (Yes, there was an "underwear round.")
Well, I say that's not how a champion wins.
I, on the other hand, would perceive the "underwear round" as a golden opportunity for showmanship which might feature my "Goldie Gopher" boxer shorts.
John, I think you are enjoying yourself a bit too much.. ;) nice pics though...
ReplyDeleteeff'ing hilarious!!!!! please let us know when you will be a showman.
ReplyDeleteahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha
Brian sent me the following message by email:
ReplyDelete-------------------------
I didn't coin "Northern Minneapolis" -- you did. The only remark I've made that was remotely close to this was when I quoted the Homewood resident who did my Home Energy Audit, who said "This [Homewood] isn't North Minneapolis." I also once said Homewood is like "a little piece of south Minneapolis, over north."
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My memory of it is different, however. I don't remember coining the term. I remember Brian coming up with it.