Unwanted phone book dumping--which up to now has been merely annoying and environmentally unsound--has finally caused a serious injury in the Hawthorne Neighborhood of North Minneapolis. A couple days ago Jeff Skrenes--Hawthorne's dedicated Housing Director--was hit by a flying mass of phone books one physics expert estimated to have the approximate force of a falling old growth tree 30 feet in diameter.
Skrenes was....
...reported to be in critical condition, but still conscious and lucid enough to vow vengeance on behalf of the neighborhood association against companies like Dex.
"Read...Ed...Kohler's...blog...The Deets," Jeff managed to whisper, through lips that were bloodied but still (according to one eyewitness) quite kissable. "Must...protest...must take...direct action."
In the wake of heated emotions in the neighborhood after the injury of Skrenes, there was loose talk of gathering up truckloads of phone books and taking them right back to where they came from, only in a much more rain-soaked condition than when they arrived, unwanted, on the steps of houses which have been vacant for as long as two years.
Jeff, stay strong! We are pulling for you! I'll get those Dex bastards if it's the last thing I do - Jeff - I'll tow the line for yo Jeff!
ReplyDeleteThere were NINE of them! Note to Dex: We still have the SEVEN you left us LAST YEAR.
ReplyDeleteHey, guys, if somebody comes onto private property and dumps their trash, isn't that littering? I think we need to get out city council and/or state legislature to pass a law that prohibits the distribution of unsolicited waste being dumped on doorsteps. This has gotten down right stupid. With all the empty properties in the COUNTRY, they are creating and distributing enough garbage to fill a landfill in every state.
ReplyDeleteHey, Bobbie, Joe, Linda, save us from DEX overload!!!
Can we get all these unwanted Dex phone books dumped into the yawning grand canyon being dug at 2115 3th St. N.? One eyesore wipes out an even bigger eyesore.
ReplyDeleteIs it true that the high-impact phone book collision has imbedded a DEX KNOWS tattoo on Jeff's forhead?
I heard that an a few years ago, when disgusted Jordan neighbors threw their unwanted DEX phone books out the window, the resulting phone book meteor exploded and blew out the crater that created the new lake at 27th and Logan. Several neighbors have pictures of the phone books blazing through the upper atmosphere
Farview Soccer Taxi Driver
Hey Farview Soccer Taxi Driver!!! So nice to see you here!
ReplyDelete