"True JACC" Lawsuit In The Jordan Neighborhood: Ben Myers Takes The Stand, Takes The Fifth, And Then Takes Off (Part One Of Three)

I'm Not Ben Myers But I Play Him In The Blogosphere

A much longer post is coming with descriptions of today's and yesterday's court proceedings in the "True JACC" lawsuit over which faction is the real heir to control of the Jordan Area Community Council. However, here is the short version.

First of all, I didn't have a good picture of Ben Myers, so (since I'm his twin brother, after all, and please see Hustler Magazine vs. Jerry Falwell for why I'm allowed to say such things about public figure Ben Myers) it seemed like a good idea to just pose for a picture myself and then substitute it for Ben's image. I mean, being twins Ben and I do stuff like this all the time. Ask Ben about the time I took the Minnesota bar exam on his behalf.

Anyway, Ben was on the stand yesterday and today. Kip Browne was on the stand, too, but his questioning didn't take long, and it was right to the point. Ben didn't get so lucky. Judge Porter himself began to ask questions and it went on for half an hour. The questions didn't look good for Ben. It was a lot of stuff about why Ben thought he had any authority, based on this-or-that twisted interpretation of the bylaws.

In contrast, while Kip Browne was up on the stand the judge started an off-the-record conversation about amusing French wines, and mentioned how Kip could come back and try some lovely cabernet sauvignon in chambers. And then there was talk of how an end table was needed to hold the glasses, so could the judge borrow Jill Clark's paralegal for a while? (That's the guy I've dubbed "the beltless Beta male" for his habit of showing up in court without a belt, and then hitching up on his pants like Gomer Pyle. The name seems to have caught on, like my nicknames often do)

Yeah, it was fairly obvious which way the judge was leaning. There was talk of getting in some briefs, closing the evidence record on Monday morning, and having a ruling out by the Fourth of July.

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