"What? You Live On Jupiter? Can You Be More Specific? OK, Red Spot Road? You Got, Like, A House Number?" ANOTHER REAL CRIMINAL WITH A MADE UP ADDRESS ON THE HENNEPIN COUNTY JAIL ROSTER...

Creative stock photo, blog post by John Hoff

I never saw a purple cow/
I never hope to see one/
But I can tell you anyhow/
I'd rather see than be one

Like the purple cow in the classic 4 line poem by Gelett Burgess, some things just don't exist. Like 2417 Polk Ave. NE.

Oh, don't get me wrong. There's properties with similar addresses, like 2415 and 2419.

But 2417? No, there ain't no such animal.

But Wendell Lee Olson, DOB 2/27/70, formally charged for (alleged) possession of burglary or theft tools, and damage to property, is listed on the jailhouse roster as living at that address.

More amusing, still, he is out of jail on $5,000 bond.

Where is Olson going, I wonder? Is he like Harry Potter who can proceed on his merry way to Kingscross Station and find Platform 9 and three fourths when us mere muggles can't?

Olson has a list of criminal charges as long as...


...well, maybe one of the burglar tools he's charged with possessing.

Here's a list of charges, not all of them convictions, but some of them are:

7-CR-89-080078
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
01/03/1990
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
THEFT OF VEHICLE O/$2500

27-CR-95-068441
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
08/07/1995
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
FAIL TO OBEY LAWFUL ORDER

27-CR-97-030929
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
04/14/1997
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
ASSAULT 5TH DEGREE (DOMESTIC)

27-CR-97-046209
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
06/02/1997
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
AGGRAVATED DRIVING VIOLATION
DRIVE U/INFLUENCE
REFUSE TO SUBMIT TO TEST

27-CR-97-066818
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
08/01/1997
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
THEFT

62-K5-98-601158
OLSON, WENDALL LEE
02/27/1970
11/17/1998
Ramsey Criminal/Traffic/Petty Suburban
Gross Misd - DWI
Converted Closed
(TCIS Amended Charge) . AGG DWI GMD
.25 ENHANCED GM DWI
.25 ENH .20 MORE GM
DAR

27-CR-01-052671
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
06/28/2001
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
TRESPASSING
CONSUMING IN A PUBLIC PLACE

27-CR-01-073444
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
09/07/2001
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
CONTROLLED SUB CRIME 3RD DEG-SALE
CONTROLLED SUB CRIME 5TH DEG-POSSESSION

27-CR-02-068245
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
09/25/2002
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
RECEIVING STOLEN GOODS

27-CR-02-088705
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
11/22/2002
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
ESCAPE FROM CUSTODY (Oh, that's a rare bird of a charge, there. You don't see that one very often)

69DU-CR-05-1748
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
06/27/2005
- St. Louis-Duluth
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
Traffic-DL-Driving after cancellation-inimical to public safety
Traffic Regulation - Rear Lamps; Required to Illuminate Lice

27-CR-05-045253
1050704384
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
07/22/2005
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
TRESPASSING

27-CR-05-057324
1050472347
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
09/07/2005
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
TRESPASSING

27-CR-05-073058
1050199460
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
11/14/2005
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
5TH DEGREE ASSAULT

27-CR-06-061895
1060771704
1060771704
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
09/07/2006
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
USE OF UNAUTHORIZED BEACH OR PARK W
PROPER ATTIRE REQUIRED (Oh, my word, I've never even SEEN this charge before! What a rare and magnificent specimen of actual and alleged criminality is Wendell Lee Olson!)

27-CR-06-066939
1060113816
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
09/28/2006
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
POSSESS MARIJUANA IN A MOTOR VEHICL

27-CR-06-066940
1060850854
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
09/28/2006
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
LOITER WITH AN OPEN BOTTLE (Yes, I was just contemplating enjoying a rare vintage, myself, to accentuate my enjoyment of this fascinating list of charges! And by "rare" I mean, I rarely like to pay much for my booze)

46-CR-07-284
F 54772
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
03/09/2007
Martin
Walker, Robert D.
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
Disorderly Conduct

46-CR-07-450
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
04/10/2007
Martin
Walker, Robert D.
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
Traffic - DWI - Operate Motor Vehicle Under Influence of Alcohol
Traffic - DWI - Operate Motor Vehicle - Alcohol Concentration 0.08 Within 2 Hours
Drivers' Licenses - Operate Motor Vehicle after License Suspension/Revocation/Cancellation
Traffic - Open bottle law; Liability of nonpresent owner; crime described

27-CR-08-59371
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
12/01/2008
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Duffy, David
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
Simple Robbery

27-CR-09-3378
1080843038
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
01/22/2009
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
Tamper with or Enter into or On a Motor Vehicle

27-CR-09-50556
OLSON, WENDELL LEE
02/27/1970
10/01/2009
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
Traffic-DL-Driving after cancellation-inimical to public safety

I'm guessing that when Olson (allegedly) damaged property, the property in question was at a real address and not some mythical land found in a story book.

Addresses that simply don't exist are a frequent occurrence with the Hennepin County Jail Roster and it leads me to wonder if somebody with fat, swollen fingers is uploading the address info with errors or is it official jailhouse policy to accept at face value anything resembling an address which the (purported) thug in question spits out, without doing any kind of verification?