The second Northside shooting incident associated with a memorial to murder victim Haywood Eaton reminded me of an old story about Haywood Eaton's mother, Stephanie Moreland a/k/a Stephanie Eaton, a/k/a Stephanie Eaton-Moreland.
Ms. Moreland was involved in the theft of a mink coat which, incredibly, she managed to hide in her underwear for three days while in police custody. The story garnered Moreland brief fame on the bigger, wider internet. But I'd never seen the criminal complaint associated with the story, so I decided to go looking and see if it was true, that this woman hid a mink coat in her underwear for three days while in police custody.
I found the story was not only true, but a wealth of bizarre details existed. To facilitate shoplifting the mink coat, Moreland utilized underwear with the seat portion removed.
Yes, assless underwear...
Click here for the first criminal complaint. This is the mink coat incident which made her famous. Moreland went into the Alaskan Fur Company in Bloomington, concealed a mink coat in her dress, and walked toward the store entrance. (There's no "allegedly," here, she's been convicted of this and was sentenced to prison) An employee who had been watching Moreland confronted her about the stolen coat.
To "prove" that she didn't have anything concealed in her dress, Moreland flipped up the back of her dress. The employee said it appeared Moreland was not wearing underwear.
Police stopped Moreland's vehicle a short time later near Mall of America. They didn't find any fur coat but did find an empty coat hanger. They arrested her. Moreland began telling various stories. First she said she didn't steal the coat. Later, she admitted stealing the coat but said she'd already sold it. Three days later, in custody and (it would appear) wearing the same clothes she'd been arrested in, Moreland admitted she'd stolen the coat and, incredibly, it was in her possession. She lifted the front of her dress and produced the coat from her underwear. She admitted to removing the seat of her underwear so it would look like she wasn't wearing underwear and could make it look (to anybody she flashed with her ass) there was no place to conceal any stolen goods.
And thus was born a legend. The Assless Underwear Bandit.
On another occasion, according to charges by Hennepin County prosecutors, click here, Moreland used a different tactic. She was wearing a pair of Spanx pulled down to the knee, forming a handy pouch where she could stuff merchandise. When confronted by store security at Old Navy in Maple Grove, Moreland said "check me" and pulled down the top of her skirt revealing buttocks and "front genital area." She showed officers her naked buttocks when taken into custody.
Moreland's address, as reported on two criminal complaints, is 6017 70th Ave. N., Brooklyn Park, Minnesota. The complaints make mention of her extensive criminal history which have been termed a "pattern of criminal activity." Readers may recall that even when Haywood Eaton's killer was sentenced, Moreland was herself in prison.
Listed below is Moreland's rap sheet, not all of which may represent convictions.
27-CR-96-076248 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 09/04/1996 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed DRIVING AFTER SUSPENSION FALSE INFORMATION TO POLICE
19-K3-96-002591 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 11/12/1996 Dakota-Hastings - Criminal/Traffic/Petty Gross Misdemeanor Converted Closed THEFT
27-CR-96-109462 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 12/31/1996 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Southdale Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed OBSTRUCTING LEGAL PROCESS THEFT
73-T0-97-002277 ST 218128 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 03/05/1997 Stearns Non- Traffic Misdemeanor Converted Closed (TCIS Amended Charge) THEFT
19-K9-97-001004 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 04/29/1997 Dakota-Hastings - Criminal/Traffic/Petty Felony Converted Closed THEFT
27-CR-97-064998 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 08/21/1997 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed ASSAULT IN THE FIRST DEGREE BURGLARY FIRST DEGREE ASSAULT IN THE SECOND DEGREE BURGLARY FIRST DEGREE BURGLARY FIRST DEGREE
27-CR-01-005892 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 03/14/2001 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed FORGERY
27-CR-03-081817 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 01/08/2004 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed OFFERING FORGED CHECK (AID & ABET) (AGGREGATE) POSSESSION OR SALE OF STOLEN OR COUNTERFEIT CHECKS (AID&ABET THEFT BY SWINDLE 0VER $2500 (AID & ABET) (AGGREGATE)
27-CR-04-002813 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 01/13/2004 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Brookdale Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed DRIVING AFTER REVOCATION NO PROOF OF INSURANCE COVERAGE
27-CR-05-000895 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 01/20/2005 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Crim/Traf Mandatory Under Court Jurisdiction THEFT BY SWINDLE 0VER $2500
02-TX-06-004022 X 874383 EATON, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 02/08/2006 Anoka Non- Traffic Misdemeanor Converted Closed THEFT/SHOPLIFTING M
27-CR-06-026691 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 04/20/2006 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Brookdale Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed THEFT
27-CR-07-112300 EATON, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 08/31/2007 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Southdale Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed Theft-Take/Use/Transfer Movable Prop-No Consent
27-CR-07-129619 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 12/18/2007 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed Check Forgery
17-CR-08-39 MLK010568 MLK010568 EATON, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 01/16/2008 Cottonwood Gross, Bruce F. Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed Traffic - Speeding - Exceed Limit 55 mph Where Appropriate Traffic-Drivers License-Driving After Revocation
27-CR-08-44329 Eaton-Moreland, Stephanie Trevetta 07/04/1964 08/18/2008 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Brookdale Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed Giving Officer False Name or Date of Birth
19HA-CR-08-4404 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 10/29/2008 Dakota-Hastings - Criminal/Traffic/Petty Crim/Traf Mandatory Dormant Theft-Take/Use/Transfer Movable Prop-No Consent
02-CR-10-8336 918681 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 10/22/2010 Anoka Crim/Traf Mandatory Under Court Jurisdiction Theft-Take/Use/Transfer Movable Prop-No Consent
27-CR-11-235 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 01/04/2011 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Chu, Regina M. Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed Theft of Property-Felony
27-CR-11-18254 MORELAND, STEPHANIE TRAVETTA 07/04/1964 06/22/2011 Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown Zimmerman, Lloyd B. Crim/Traf Mandatory Closed Theft-Take/Use/Transfer Movable Prop-No Consent
JNS Blog editorializes as follows: Haywood Eaton never had a chance. His mother's bad lifestyle choices made sure of that.
This lady must be pretty big to hide a coat as a FUPA.
ReplyDeleteI have the opposite problem. Whenever I go into a meat market, I get accused of trying to steal salami by stuffing it in the front of my pants. That's not salami.
I guess getting killed in some thug activity doesn't make you a Martyr or your relatives Saints!
ReplyDeleteThat kind of takes all the glory out of it.
With a mama that smart you would have thought that Haywood would have known better. His lead allergies made him just another statistic who succumbed to lead poisoning...soooooo... so hopefully all of his relatives go out and get updated on THEIR SHOTS!
ReplyDelete10:58 has me in stitches when he makes correlating statements about mink stealin' bitches! Hide the salaam, pal, and be thankful they didn't issue you an appetizer weenie!
ReplyDeleteAny updates on the shooting of Ledell Williams (aka "Juney Soprano")? Word is he's still in a coma in HCMC, unlikely to recover. He supposedly came from a solid hard-working intact family, but then chose to become a low-life drug-using thug rapper. Some moron kids turn bad even with good parents.
ReplyDeleteHaywood Eaton was undoubtedly fucked from the get-go.
You can't join people in a graveyard.
ReplyDeleteif people like her put as much time, effort and thought into earning a decent living and being an upstanding citizen as she put into how to alter her underwear so she can shove the maximum amount of stolen goods down her pants and then flash her ass at security personnel, then me thinks her life and society would be a much different/better place.
ReplyDeleteWhat a rotten excuse for a human being and a mother. I hope she is proud of herself for being such a failure and pretty much causing the murder of her son by leading such a pathetic example of how to be a criminal and live the thug life.
I fucking hate thugs and the thuggy ghetto ass culture and lifestyle that some sectors of society are choosing to live.
This is article is a rather cheeky analysis of the 'thug life looks a lot like religion' and 'shoplifting is just like reglar folks shopping' ways of life.
ReplyDeleteBetween 'they'se bin turning their lifes' around the past few years' and 'they's good in everyone but he be taken away too soon!' this sums it all up. The bonus is that everyone gotsta love thinking about the feeling of mink in the crack in the holding cell.
To: March 22, 2013 at 10:58 AM
ReplyDeleteYou are the Marquis de Sade of humor!
Any booking photos?
ReplyDeleteI wrestled with the question for some time.
ReplyDeleteDoes "assless" modify "underwear" or "bandit?"
Each and every time a thug-hugger minimizes, rationalizes, and enables all the crap that goes on around here by saying things like "everybody makes mistakes," and "you don't know what the thug was really like," I understand that they have exactly the kind of values that Hayward Eaton's mother does.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason people minimize this behavior is because they engage in it themselves, and they want everyone to accept it as normal the way they do.
Sorry, thug-huggers, but there's a whole big beautiful world outside of the thug life, and from that outside world, thugs and their enablers just look small, and dingy, and pathetic.
The root cause of 99% of our problems as a society are caused by
ReplyDeletepoor (or non-existing) parenting!
If that kid had been born to my wife and me, not only would be alive today, he'd have no criminal record and probably be an honor student trying to decide which college to attend.
Did the kid have a chance? Yes, but the cards were stacked against him from the start. If I had grown up in his home, I'd probably be dead or in jail too.
That bitch's gunt is too big for this ghetto, damn.
ReplyDeleteI had to look up the word "gunt" on urban dictionary. It is apparently the area of fat between the belly and the pudenda.
ReplyDeleteYour comment is right on the line between substantive and abusive. I've elected to publish it simply because it has a cool new word but do not read moral approval into this action.
"Assless" modifies "underwear."
ReplyDeleteThen "assless underwear" modifies "bandit."
At no point does "assless" modify "bandit" all by itself.
I wish. Booking photos cost, like, five bucks apiece. I've always made it clear that if readers/fans/interested parties will send me RELEVANT booking photos I will be happy to publish those photos if they are exclusive and not otherwise available on the internet.
ReplyDeleteLooks as though you want to have your cake and eat it too. It is your blog and you can be as selective as you want to be. You also have a keen way of rationalizing your racism also. I wish I knew what your cool name for nigger is.
ReplyDeleteI'm publishing your comment as an example of the behind-the-scenes bullshit I put up with in the comments section.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few pinheads out there who seem to think that because some of the criminals I write about happen to be black that it's just OPEN FUCKING SEASON on minorities. To these pinheads I say:
Could you possibly put forth some effort and develop a more complex line of political thought than merely looking at the back of your own hand one day and thinking, "By god, I am a white person. That's what I am. White. So how can I leverage this fact about my race into feeling better about my trashy existence and lack of meaningful intellect? I know, I will go and type anonymous shit bird comments about minorities."
What a fucking joke these assholes are.
ReplyDeleteJohnny Northside gets the scoop on the assless underwear bandit ( complete with mink coat where it taint been seen), or someone chimo like Spanky Pete, but they happen to be WHITE! I wonder if he'd be shitcanning that story?
W.T.F. r u yakkin' about,1:30? Please DO not seek moral approval from a body that angers from hearing truth and it hurting immensely.
ReplyDelete