The "Pizza-Fied" Blood Mary (Invented At Broadway Pizza In The Hawthorne Neighborhood)

Photo By John Hoff

I don't know why it is when me, Jeff Skrenes, and Bryan Thao Worra get together we try to pioneer improvements on yer basic Bloody Mary, like I've blogged about before, but...

For some reason, we do.

The night before last, we gathered at Broadway Pizza, in one of the four corners of the square-shaped Hawthorne Neighborhood, after we helped Jeff Skrenes move from his old apartment as part of a flight from Upper Drug-O-Topia. (Click here for details) I was drinking a Virgin Bloody Mary, as I so often do, because law school taught me to be ever-so-prudent.

Bryan Thao Worra asked for extra Tabasco sauce in his Bloody Mary. The waitress simply plunked down a bottle in front of him.

Bryan doused his Bloody Mary in Tabasco and then...reached for the Parmesan cheese, which he sprinkled on the top of his drink.

Were Your Taste Buds Shot Off In The War?

Jeff, who is actually quite a great cook and incredibly experimental with cuisine, is still shocked by how far Bryan and I are willing to push our taste buds: ant larvae, bamboo caterpillars, dried squid are things we'll eat without hesitation. Today, when we were moving stuff out of Jeff's old apartment, and it was time for breakfast, I warmed up some of Jeff's baked chicken with dried plums, and drowned the already-herbified chicken in Mrs. Dash, Jeff cried out, "Were your tastebuds shot off in the war?"

Well, sort of. Don't get me going about the guy from Louisiana who taught me how to kill hunger pains in Army Basic Training...by drinking increasingly large, addictive doses of Tabasco sauce, right out of the bottle. I've still been known to use this trick while working as a commercial truck driver. It sure does keep a person WAKEY WAKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bloody Mary Pizza Logic

In any case, Bryan's modifications to his Bloody Mary freaked Jeff out, predictably. Bryan shrugged and said a Bloody Mary is vegetables, hot sauce, tomato...it's like a liquid pizza, already. Why not add some cheese on the top?

I said to Bryan: Brilliant!!!!! I'm getting my camera. Bryan, you need to do that again for my camera. You invented it, but I'm going to be the guy who publicizes it. Wait here.

And when I came back, Bryan had sucked up the top layer of his Bloody Mary, and was ready to add more cheese.

The next logical step: throwing a few shots of vodka on top of a plain cheese and Tabasco pizza, and calling it a "Bloody Mary Pizza."

My Son Alex Is Also A Culinary Pioneer

Ever since he was little, my son Alex has preferred his food plain, almost spartan. Simple "butter noodles" are one of his favorite entrees, for example. He doesn't like ketchup on most things, except fries. He doesn't like "minty things," avoiding mint the way some Midwestern folks of Scandinavian heritage avoid serious spices.

But since my son turned 11, his amazing and developed personality is always throwing me a curve ball during every-other-weekend visitation. Today, eating scrambled eggs at Jeff's new apartment, Alex asked for maple syrup to put on the scrambled eggs.

I put a little on the top, drizzling it.

"More," he said.

Give the kid time, I thought. One day, he'll be chowing down on ant larvae.