Candidate Brett Buckner, Who Will Win Fifth Ward City Council Election When Swine Take Flight, Made Vaguely Threatening Statement About Settling Scores "Northside Style"

Facebook photo, used under First Amendment Fair Comment
and Criticsm, blog post by John Hoff

Two Serious Candidates, Brett Buckner, And A Green Kale Garnish

Skip to the next boldface header if you don't want to read an arcane analysis of the downside of Individually Ranked Voting, and you just want to know about Brett Buckner's vaguely threatening statement at Shiloh Baptist Church.

WELL HERE WE ARE, ONCE AGAIN, in the bizarre world of "ala carte" Minneapolis elections, where you get a first, second and third choice. And here is the mutant Godzilla creature which comes from experimenting with a time honored principal of one person, one vote...




I didn't want to publish this right before the election, because it was believed by many Northsiders that Brett Buckner supporters were likely to cast "second choice" votes for Ian Alexander.

Since the fact Ian Alexander is friendly with this blogger is pretty well known, I didn't want to alienate those "Buckner First, Alexander Second" voters by talking TOO MUCH smack about Buckner.

Indeed, I believed I talked no more and no less than a necessary amount of smack, given the pressing election issues like NOT ELECTING A GUY WHO HOLDS ONTO MONEY LIKE A DRUNK HOLDING A WET BAR OF SOAP.

Yes, this is just another way IRV (Individually Ranked Voting) hinders rather than helps democracy: Candidates and their supporters have to worry about airing perfectly relevant negative facts about other candidates, for fear of losing "second choice" votes.

But the idea that IRV will make candidates "nice" to each other is also fallacy. No political party is more in favor of IRV than the Green Party, but every time Green Party candidate Kale Severson was at a debate in Ward 5, he was the biggest trash talker at the debate. So there will still be trash talk, it will just come from candidates who never had a chance, anyway.

Thus, the best candidates have to worry about airing negative facts (the best candidates actually have to carefully calculate votes, including second choice votes) while candidates who have no chance (Kale Severson, the "Green Garnish") need not hold back with their negativity. But the worst candidates are the least likely to have relevant facts worth airing. Thus what REALLY suffers in an IRV world is a robust discussion of negative facts about candidates aired from the mouths of RELEVANT candidates.

Now with the polls closed and the votes being tabulated, I can publish a piece of scuttlebutt reported to me about Brett Buckner and, of course, Jerry Moore...

It was reported to me Brett Buckner was in Shiloh Baptist Church, where Ian Alexander was also present. Reportedly, Buckner had HARSH words to say to Alexander about things written on JNS blog. The stuff about NCAA money especially upset Buckner, the implication he took money or owed money or something like that.

For a review of what was written that upset Buckner so much, click here, here, and also here.

A Promise To Take Care Of Trash Talking Blogger "Northside Style" 

Reportedly, Alexander made clear JNS blog was not working for Alexander's campaign but stated some level of friendship with this blogger. Buckner was unhappy to hear that and said something about how he would take care of matters "Northside style."

"What does that even MEAN?" Ian Alexander reportedly asked, or words to that effect. I am not sure what Buckner replied, but in my vivid imagination I assume he said, "How you ain't know?"

Meanwhile, who was hanging around with Brett Buckner? Well, it was good old Jerry Moore! The guy who owes me a judgment of $3,799.69. The guy who hit a JACC board member in the face the night of an election which didn't go his way, just like THIS election won't go his way. Yes, the disgraced former Executive Director of JACC who was involved in a mortgage fraud at 1564 Hillside Ave. N.

But I can't complain TOO much, since Jerry recently did at least a middling job filling out required paperwork for the court system about where he's making his money these days. Jerry claims to be "self employed" and making $3,500 a month. This is assuming the paperwork I was mailed really came from Jerry and contains truthful statements, which would require too much of a leap of faith when we're talking about Jerry Moore.

Is that $3,500 a month coming from Brett Buckner's campaign? Well, there's no way to know because Buckner hasn't filled out the required campaign disclosure forms, has he? See an article I wrote yesterday, click here. 

What Does That Even MEAN?

So (once again falling back upon my vivid imagination) I have to figure out what taking care of things "Northside style" might mean.

Here's what I've come up with, so far.

1.) Brett Buckner is going to write a blog, since "Northside" has become synonymous with blogging.

2.) Shoot up my house, then scurry like a rat. But remember, even if you manage to hit the camera with abysmal "Northside style" thug marksmanship, what happened BEFORE you hit the camera will still be recorded.

3.) Vehicular sabotage. Best of luck with THAT. The vehicles are kept parked where the cameras can watch. God, I love my security cameras.

4.) Rely on the vague fear something bad will happen because everybody knows the Northside is full of violence, however, most of it is thugs preying on thugs. Therefore, in summary, Brett Buckner will be more like Brett Bluster.

5.) Cry into his pillow and blame his election loss on Johnny Northside, just like Lennie Chism. 

Let me just say that if Brett Buckner wins this election, I will run outside and look in the sky for flying pigs. But enough about Buckner...

Before this eventful night is over, I will be naming what I believe to be the six North Minneapolis crime families.