No Honor Among Turd Burglars, And No Trial, Either...

Stock photo, from an alley on Newton Ave. N., blog post by John Hoff


Word comes from a reliable source that the four minors apprehended in the midst of a Thanksgiving Day "turd burglary" will all be pleading guilty. Some of the burglars will be testifying against their comrades. All the burglars will be getting probation, forced to pay restitution, and will have to perform community service.

This blogger earnestly hopes the community service will involve cleaning toilets. As for restitution, word is the replacement of the back door cost $467.17.

The burglars will also have to write a letter of apology and, if needed may attend rehab. I am very hopeful their letters of apology will find their way to my hands in the form of PDF files so let's all hope the turd burglars write better than they break and enter.

Furthermore (and this is probably the most humiliating) the burglars will be required to participate in the shooting of a music video for Charlatan of Larceny, a song inspired by their farcical attempts at burglary on Hillside Ave. N. and 22nd Ave. N.

OK, that last part is just me kidding around but, seriously, there's a song in the works. 

More Burglary Details Emerge As Neighbors Pitch In With Post-Break In Cleanup...

Photos, blog post by John Hoff

I wonder if they teach the clean up song in juvenile detention? The lyrics are fairly simple, as any parent of a toddler knows...

Clean up, clean up, everybody let's clean up
Clean up, clean up, put your things away

I don't know if the six juveniles arrested in a Thanksgiving burglary on Hillside Ave. N. ever had parents who sang them the "clean up" song or taught them appropriate social skills. They do, however, have quite an opportunity to learn a few things in juvenile detention. Word is they will most likely remain locked up until Monday because it's a holiday weekend. Word is some of the parents arrived at juvie and were unable to spring their children from detention.

It's going to be a long holiday weekend for those parents. Are they contemplating where, in the raising of their offspring, they've gone drastically wrong? Or are they just grinding their teeth in rage about how, supposedly, the system has wronged them and their incarcerated younguns, caught red-handed in the very act of burglarizing a house?

Meanwhile...