Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Old White Castle Lot Goes From Trash Problem To Graffiti Problem...

Contributed photo, blog post by John Hoff

There used to be big piles of trash in the vacant lot nat 718 West Broadway, which old Northsiders recall as the former White Castle location. This blog griped about the trash, lots of citizens called 311 and sent photos, and finally the trash problem was taken care of.

Now there's a new problem with the vacant lot...


These cartoony letters don't look like North Minneapolis gang graffiti but rather tagger wannabes from the suburbs.

311 has been notified. How long until the problem is remedied? And then reappears? And then gets remedied again?

But here's how I look at it: after you mow the grass, the grass grows back. That DOES NOT mean you didn't do a good job mowing, or that you should give up mowing, or even that you should grow frustrated. Rejoice, for you have purpose and productive work.

Then again...

It is inevitable that one of these dark nights a car full of North Minneapolis neighborhood revitalizers will run into a car full of taggers from the suburbs, caught in the very act.

And when that happens, it will be a bad day to be a tagger from the suburbs.

Police Raid At 2654 Morgan Ave. N., August 17, 7:15 AM..

Contributed photo, blog post by John Hoff

The house at 2654 Morgan Ave. N. has been low key but constant trouble for a few years. Suspicious looking "no accounts" who seem to be buying or dealing drugs constantly drop by. It's not the kind of thing where you can call 911, but in the past several months a number of citizens have called the 4th Precinct CERT team to report their suspicions. The house is located directly across from the former "Salmon House," a location populated by crack addicted whores and their customers until, thankfully, it was bulldozed to near-oblivion.

I say "near oblivion" because, well, I did manage to save some fridge magnets.

On August 17, about 7:15 AM, police officers believed to be Hennepin County Sheriff's personnel raided the 2654 Morgan Ave. N. The raid was announced with a flash bang grenade at that early morning hour. One citizen of North Minneapolis who was productively up and about at that early hour, and who heard the grenade immediately thought...

...it was another house blowing up after having the copper gas pipes stolen. The citizen ran over toward the source of the sound but, naturally, police were keeping citizens back for safety reasons. The photo above is cropped and wasn't taken from as close as it appears.

A "white trash looking male" was observed to be "cuffed and stuffed." The citizen was unsure whether the male was "fully arrested or cuffed and stuffed as temporary storage while (police) searched."

The police were observed to spend a lot of time in the garage and "were even more decked out and armored up than usual raids, causing (the citizen observer) to suspect the raid was a suspected automatic weapons raid and not just the average north minneapolis drug raid."

Note in the photo, above, an actual armored vehicle. I have observed many police raids in North Minneapolis but have never seen a vehicle like this before.

Given what was observed, the citizen voiced suspicions the raid was meth related.

The property in question is owned by Williams Properties Investments of 6066 Shingle Creek Parkway, Minneapolis, MN 55430.

This is where Johnny Northside bitches about the fact city property addresses are not searchable on the city's property website by name of owner, like many other cities. This has been brought up many, many times with city officials.

"Fare For All" Grocery Program At West Broadway YMCA...

Stock photo, "Bountiful Breakfast Platter" Disney World Animal Kingdom, blog post by John Hoff

This blogger has been asked to "spread the word" about a reduced price grocery program at the West Broadway YMCA.

Here is the email I received about this effort:


I work with a local nonprofit called Emergency Foodshelf Network. We just opened a Fare For All Express site at the YMCA in North Minneapolis. Fare For All is a program that sells packages of fresh, quality groceries at up to 40% off retail prices. The program is open to anyone who wants to participate. We have had two distributions so far, but are still in the process of trying to get the word out to Northsiders. Is there any way that you could help us spread the word to neighborhood residents? (...)

Thank you so much for your time,


Tom Mercer
Fare For All Program Assistant
Emergency Foodshelf Network

To which I say: Tom, consider the word spread.

(Do Not Click "Read More")


Star Tribune Article Is Online About Johnny Northside "Truth And Consequences" Court Ruling...

Photo by Megan Goodmundson, blog post by John Hoff

Within several hours after being notified about the recent court ruling in the Jerry Moore v. John Hoff court battle, the Star Tribune had an article online.

Here is a link to the article.

My favorite part is how it casually mentions Moore's involvement in mortgage fraud. After all, Moore sued me for defamation for saying he was involved in the mortgage fraud at 1564 Hillside Ave. N.

Now every single article pointedly mentions his involvement.

This case and the issues surrounding the mortgage fraud at 1564 Hillside Ave. N. continues to snowball into the FREE SPEECH COURT BATTLE OF THE CENTURY.

(Click here for musical homage)

(Do Not Click "Read More")

Monday, August 29, 2011

JNS BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Motion For Judgment As A Matter Of Law DENIED In Jerry Moore v. John Hoff a/k/a Johnny Northside "To Tell The Truth" Lawsuit...

Stock photo, blog post by John Hoff

Word reaches me during R&R leave from Afghanistan that my Motion For Judgment As A Matter Of Law in the Jerry Moore v. John Hoff a/k/a Johnny Northside "to tell the truth" lawsuit has been DENIED.

I am in contact with my attorney, Paul Godfread, about this.

We will appeal.

(Do Not Click "Read More")

"Hot" Shoe Deals At Two West Broadway Locations...

Contributed photos, blog post by John Hoff

A good citizen in North Minneapolis shared this info with me, after also sharing it with police and public officials. It appears that suspiciously good $5 shoe deals have been popping up on West Broadway. It's not known if the two "street shoe outlets" are related, or a coincidence. However, the shoes are name brand, new shoes NOT used. One can't help but think, "How is name brand footwear sold profitably for so little money? Did these shoes FALL OFF A TRUCK, mob style?"

In one instance, the red hot $5 shoes are being sold from a U-Haul trailer parked near West Broadway and Aldrich Ave. N., near Cub Foods. The license plate of the vehicle towing the trailer is TWL 674.

In the second instance...

...the shoes are being sold under a tent located next to J&H Used Furniture, a notorious "thug store" which has often been mentioned on this blog.

However, on a positive note: it appears J&H Furniture finally fixed their roof. Citizens only had to call 311 like, what? About a dozen times?

Hennepin County Jail Roster-O-Rama, August 10 To August 29, 2011...

Stock photo and blog post by John Hoff

Though I would prefer to post the Hennepin County Jail roster once a month, there's no hard and fast rule that prohibits me from publishing the roster more often if I freaking feel like it.

At the moment (Johnny Northside location clue!) I am having some fried crab in Gulfport, Mississippi...or maybe I'm in Biloxi.

I'm not sure myself. It's hard to tell, sometimes, if you're in Biloxi or Gulfport since the two cities crowd right into each other, all along the beautiful endless white sands of the Gulf of Mexico.

In any case, the sight of the fried crab sitting in front of my computer--like breaded crabs were going to crawl right into cyberspace--reminded me, oddly, of Google bots. And then, just on a whim, I thought: let's give the Google bots a feast! Let's feed them the jail roster.

Besides, I often get busy in Afghanistan and internet access can be sporadic. If I publish the roster while I'm on R&R leave, that gives me a whole month to coast.

So, because it's PUBLIC INFO but because the roster appears on a part of the Hennepin County Jail website that doesn't get crawled by Google bots, doesn't get PRESERVED with all its valuable info, and it falls upon this blogger to take up the task, without further ado, I give you...

The Hennepin County Jail Roster, August 10 to August 29...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Spanky Pete Process Server Gets "Well Done" In Hot Car Waiting For Johnny Northside...

Contributed cell phone photo, blog post by John Hoff

This photo was sent to me several weeks ago. It shows a process server for Level Three Sex Offender Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer sitting outside my house, parked the wrong way on the street.

This process server sat for hours and hours without successfully serving his spanky paperwork. My friend who observed from inside my house told me the car was parked with its windows open instead of running the air conditioner the whole time. It must have been hot in that car. My friend quipped that "right now he (the process server) is only medium rare, but I want him well done."

Just to give the process servers a fair chance, a "festival of Johnny Northside clues" will be coming in the next few days including (as promised) a photo of me in a Mickey Mouse hat, waving to Spanky Pete.

(Blogging from Clermont, Florida)

(Do Not Click "Read More")

Friday, August 26, 2011

5th Ward City Councilman Don Samuels Gives Weekly Address: Youth Violence

Video by Steve Hogan, 5th Ward Council Aide

In this week's video address from 5th Ward City Councilman Don Samuels discusses the recent youth violence that has occurred around the northside. While we have seen drastic reductions in crime overall, there is a crisis among the youth in our community with a deadly, devastating propensity for gun violence.

Remember, call 9-1-1 when you see suspicious activity. If a crowd of youth is gathering, go ahead and call 9-1-1 and report the gathering, it might save a life. If it turns out to be completely innocent, the worst that will happen is your block will have an extra squad car rolling by.

(Do Not Click "Read More")

Johnny Northside Location Update For "Spanky" Pete Rickmyer Includes Deep Fried Cheesecake...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

As previously promised, I am giving regular clues about my location so Level Three Sex Offender Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer has a shot at serving me with his pseudo-legal paperwork while I'm taking stateside R&R from my deployment in Afghanistan.

I just have a little time before my son and I catch a shuttle bus to one of the local amusement parks here in Orlando, but hopefully later there will be a "clue festival" which will include what I'm wearing, what I'm eating, what I'm driving, etc.

Pictured above...

...is deep fried cheesecake, a southern gastronomic delight.

Turns out the trick to deep frying unusual food--whatever it may be, Snickers bars or whatever--is to first wrap it in doughy won ton wrappers. This keeps the food together in the fryer.

My hotel is only a short distance from a restaurant that serves up deep fried cheesecake. We'll be staying here tonight so Spanky Pete process servers? Come and bang on my door!

"Find The American Flag And Raise It Up Over What's Left Of The House..."

Photo by Megan Goodmundson, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

The photo above shows what may very well be the "first flag raising" after the North Minneapolis tornado. Moments after the disaster, upon learning the house of NoMi "Super Citizen" Megan Goodmundson was severely damaged, I started making phone calls from my barracks in Mississippi and asking friends to go help Megan.

One of the first calls I made...

...was to the super-handy and helpful friend who stays at my house while I am deployed. He's ex-military, so he totally understood the first order of business was:

"Find the American flag and raise it up over what's left of the house."

Pictured above is the flag raising. Though a damaged tree is visible in the background, it's not obvious from this angle that the roof has been torn off the house.

Fortunately, there was insurance and the roof is being replaced.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Johnny Northside Location Update For "Spanky" Pete Rickmyer Includes Fresh Seafood On The Gulf Coast...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Friends know I am such a fanatic recycler that I actually recycle sea shells. While enjoying the scenic Mississippi Gulf Coast with my son, Alex, headed for all the fun amusement parks in Orlando, Florida, I've gotten some great deals on fresh oysters. But almost as much fun as eating the oysters is walking to the nearby ocean and returning the shells to nature.

My last oyster-eating session was particularly cool because my 14-year-old son, Alex, (a notoriously picky eater) actually ate a raw oyster for money.

For that matter, he ate a boiled peanut for free.

Haven't heard of boiled peanuts? Oh, it's a Dixieland delicacy, sold in almost every mom and pop gas station from the Florida panhandle into the Carolinas.

But back to the issue at hand: As previously promised, I need to give notorious Level Three sex offender Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer regular location clues so he has a fair and square chance to serve me with his mental manure-pile of pseudo legal paperwork...

So right this moment I'm staying in the same super-cheap hotel that I stayed in last night, not far from the historic home of former Confederate President Jefferson Davis. But soon I will be throwing my gear into my vehicle and driving toward Orlando. There are a lot of amusement parks in Orlando, but they all have one thing in common: Level Three sex offenders are not welcome around the kiddies. So Pete will have to find a non-sex offender process server to slap me with his weird, drooly paperwork.

Kind of like he slapped the buttocks of those minors at the fried chicken place he used to manage in North Minneapolis.

Just to help Pete out further: rather than going north a wee bit along Highway 49 to meet up with Interstate 10, I plan to stay on "90," the scenic road that runs along the Gulf Coast. I will hit Interstate 10 later. I plan to stop in some random small Florida town to use the post office, buy some money orders to pay my house taxes, etc.

Oh, and I'm going to buy more boiled peanuts.

I will be posting a picture of myself wearing a Mickey Mouse hat, just for Petey-Poo to enjoy!

Spear Still Sticking Out Of Slumlord Keith Reitman's House Months After North Minneapolis Tornado...

Photo by Megan Goodmundson, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

In a previous blog post, North Minneapolis "super citizen" Megan Goodmundson documented the "debri spear" sticking out of a house long after the North Minneapolis tornado. Megan didn't name the slumlord owner in question but...

...given the distinctive "Keith Reitman blue" color of the house, it wasn't hard for readers to guess.

Megan checked on the house recently and sent me the photo, above.

Yup. The spear is still sticking in the house.

Well, I say, the race is on. Which will happen first? Will Keith Reitman pull the spear out of his house? Or will Friedman's Shoe Store fix its ugly, disgusting "butt glass?"

I hate to say it, but my money is on Slumlord Keith Reitman.

(Blogging from the scenic Mississippi Gulf Coast on R&R leave)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Johnny Northside Location Update For "Spanky" Pete Rickmyer Includes Retirement Home Of Confederate President Jefferson Davis...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

As I promised, during my R&R leave from Afghanistan I'm providing clues about my current location so Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer can have a fair and square shot at serving me with his procedural poo-pile of pseudo-legal paperwork that he has been trying to slap upon me, lo, these many months.

Pictured above, over my son's right shoulder is...

..."Beauvoir," the final home of Confederate President Jefferson Davis. For much better pictures of Beauvoir and information about historical tours, click here.

The house is located in Biloxi, Mississippi. Right at this moment I am only a short distance from Beauvoir in a cheap motel room. It is quite possibly the cheapest hotel on the entire Mississippi Gulf Coast and I received a military discount on top of that.

I told my son that if the police kick in the door on a drug raid, to just do what they say.

Like I said, it's a REALLY cheap motel.

Interesting fact learned about Jefferson Davis: after the fall of the Confederacy, one of his daughters ("Winnie") fell in love with a Yankee and wanted to marry him.

Jefferson Davis reluctantly agreed to the marriage but Winnie's mother still disapproved. Before the marriage could take place, word leaked of the wedding plans and the entire Deep South was SCANDALIZED. So much anger was directed at Winnie's father, Jefferson Davis, that Winnie broke off the engagement to save her father's reputation.

Some time after that, Winnie decided to take a long overseas vacation.

Somewhere in Egypt, she died of a fever.

And a broken heart.

The Battery Stolen From My Car In North Minneapolis While I Serve In Afghanistan...

Photo by an Afghan brother-in-arms, blog post by John Hoff

In the photo above, I am helping to man a guard tower on my Forward Operating Base. There have been two suicide car bomb attacks on this position in the last two years. Fortunately, no Americans were killed in either incident.

Meanwhile, one of my cars is parked behind my garage in North Minneapolis. Upon returning this week for some R&R leave on the beautiful Gulf Coast, I learned...

...somebody had stolen the car battery.

Of course, I should be upset about this but I could only laugh.

An old car battery was stolen while I was in Afghanistan? That's all? That's the worse thing that happened?

This theft happened during a period of time when the "anti-Johnny Northside" forces were particularly busy on their nasty little anti-blogs, saying stuff like, "John Hoff is away in Afghanistan. Somebody lives in his house while he is gone. Therefore, John is a slumlord and should be investigated. Blah and blah and did I mention blah?"

So I had to wonder if the "anti-Johnnies" were somehow involved in the car battery theft, particularly since I heard an unconfirmed rumor that Paul "Pamiko" Koenig is living in his luxury RV and going through terrible financial difficulties. I know from my own experience of living in a 1979 Shasta RV that those things kill batteries like batteries are going out of style.

Notwithstanding such speculation, I've decided that as far as my stolen battery is concerned...

I forgive whoever stole the battery. Clearly, this person was in desperate need.

Furthermore, I refuse to allow the pathetic theft of a car battery to mess with my "warrior Zen thing."

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Update On The Johnny Northside "To Tell The Truth" Lawsuit...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Pictured above, an Afghan flag that I mailed to my lawyer, Paul Godfread, as a thank you gift for all the great work he has been doing in the infamous Moore v. Hoff lawsuit.

As most regular readers know, this blogger said disgraced former JACC executive director Jerry Moore was involved in a fraudulent mortgage at 1564 Hillside Ave. N. (because Jerry Moore was, and that makes him a low down, dirty, no-good, neighborhood-wrecking scum snake) and Moore (incredibly) sued for defamation.

The jury ruled this blogger did not defame Moore, but then the case took a strange bounce because of "tortious telling of the truth" and (as some legal experts have pointed out) a flawed jury instruction form.

Currently, we are still patiently waiting for a response to our "Motion For Judgment As A Matter of Law," supported by an amicus curie brief filed by the Minnesota Chapter of the Society for Professional Journalists. (And have I thanked them lately? Here's another public thanks)

In the interim, while awaiting word on the Moore lawsuit, I have been to the other side of the world as part of...

...a military deployment to Afghanistan. However, at this moment I am taking R&R leave so I can spend some time with my son before school starts. Yes, it's pretty early for R&R, but only so many soldiers can leave the Forward Operating Base at one time, so I volunteered to go in mid-August to early September.

As for the flag, it was mailed yesterday from a post office in Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

Oh--! Heads up, Spanky Pete process servers, it's a Johnny Northside location clue!

And at this very moment, I am at an airport, eating a Rueben sandwich. Last night, in an effort to save money on hotel expen--UM, I MEAN AVOID SCARY PROCESS SERVERS!!!--I slept in my car in a parking lot on the ocean front.

Further location clues will constantly follow, so Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer will have a fair and square chance to serve me with his intellectual dung heap of pseudo-legal gibberish.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Johnny Northside Location Update For Spanky Pete Rickmyer Includes Airspace Of Greenland...

Random photo (venomous snake of Afghanistan) and blog post by John Hoff

I promised, in a previous blog post, to give Level Three Sex Offender Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer an opportunity to serve me with his quasi-legal, gibberish-filled pseudo lawsuit during my stateside R&R leave from Afghanistan. So I need to give Spanky regular, helpful clues about my location. Here's where I've been today...

First of all, defining "today" is difficult. I keep gaining time by running away from the sun, just as surely as I gain time by running away from Spanky Pete and his process servers. Today the sun rose upon me in Shannon, Ireland, during a layover. At some point, according to the "YOU ARE HERE" map projected on the inflight movie screen, we veered near Iceland and (it looked like to me) actually entered the coastal airspace of Greenland.

I was asleep when we crossed into Canadian airspace. Looking down below, not realizing how long I'd actually slept, what I took to be Newfoundland was, oh my word, possibly eastern Ohio. So pardon me Pete, sometimes even I don't know where I am to within several hundred miles.

But I can tell you exactly where I am this very moment: a bar at the Atlanta airport, where I just renewed the wireless internet plan for my computer so I can blog, blog, blog during R&R.

(Spanky Pete voice)

"Careful, that's not a friendly trouser snake!"

The Arming Of City Council Member Diane Hofstede...

Photos and blog post by John Hoff

In the course of an article criticizing City Council Member Diane Hofstede for staff turnover, Jeff "Hawthorne Hawkman" Skrenes published a photo of Hofstede armed with a sword. The photo originated on this blog and was taken when Hofstede...

...attended a going away party for Peter Teachout, who did many great things in the Hawthorne Neighborhood before making the personal and economic choice to join the United States Army as an officer. Peter has quite the collection of exotic weapons, and at the going away party he showed off a few to Diane Hofstede.

Hofstede may have some weaknesses, but failure to be a good sport isn't among them. She graciously posed with Peter's sword, knowing very well I would put the photo all over the internet.

But since you really can't have too many pictures of Diane Hofstede armed with a sword, I thought I would add these two other photos to the online record.

(Blogging from the Atlanta airport)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Put This One In Your "Historypin App," Hawthorne Hawkman! North Minneapolis Prostitution From Days Of Yore...

Stock photo, (unknown if this is location described, odds are it's not) blog post by John Hoff

While I was Googling "North Minneapolis" and trying to catch up with life "on the homefront" before flying stateside for some R&R away from Afghanistan, the omniscient Gods Of Google suggested a story from 1999 about a "family run" house of prostitution...

Click here for the newspaper article, which is in that crazy "old print media now put online" format which is, well, I just find it cumbersome to read. But I took the time to read it.

As is so often true of "dead tree media," the article kept the exact location of the house a secret. Do any non-anonymous, trustworthy readers have an idea where this house was?

It was in the course of catching up that I was re-reading Hawthorne Hawkman's recent articles about the "historypin app," articles that were written in the context of Friedman's Shoe Store without making mention of their run down, dreary glass which makes that whole part of West Broadway look just plain seedy.

(Hawkman is tactful. Me, not so much)

So when I ran across the article about "North Minneapolis prostitution in days of yore," (well, 1999) I couldn't help but think, wow, put THAT in your history app and leave the money on the dresser.

The Game Is On! Serve Me If You Can, Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer...

Mugshot, available even on the other side of the frigging PLANET, therefore public domain, blog post by John Hoff

I am just about to depart Ali Al Salem, Kuwait, on my way home from Afghanistan for R&R. I am posting this information fair and square so Level Three Sex Offender Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer and his attorney Jill Clark have a shot at...

...serving me with Rule 9 frivolous litigant Rickmyer's bat s*** crazy psuedo legal paperwork, which also names the current and former head of the Minnesota State Department of Corrections. As I take my stateside R&R, I will be posting truthful, tantilizing clues about my location on a fairly regular basis for the entertainment of my readers, who are undoubtedly entertained by this sort of thing. Indeed, Rickmyer's constant failed attempts to legally serve me have become quite the mythic saga.

Oops, did I say "mythic saga?"

Regular readers know what THAT means!

Click here for the song O! Fortuna!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Afghan Trinkets of Nominal Value For Northside City Council Officials...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Being stationed in Afghanistan has give me a whole new appreciation for government officials and, for that matter, citizen participation. Arguably, all the problems of Afghanistan could be solved by good government, and civic-minded citizens.

Moved by that insight, I decided to send a special gift from Afghanistan to three of my North Minneapolis city council officials (Barb Johnson, Don Samuels, and Diane Hofstede) to thank them for being my democratically elected representative and also to lobby on a particular issue...

...which I may write about later (I've already written about it in the past) but, for now, is neither here nor there. The gifts are of nominal value. I'm sure they don't fall under the category of bribery, graft and corruption. For example, a 1000 Afghani note from the Taliban era can be easily obtained for...two dollars. Roughly what you'd spend to buy a city council official a cup of coffee for a chat.

Pictured above are the three big padded envelopes before I mailed them, sitting amid my uniform, googles, and Afghan-produced throw blankets. Note unpainted wall. I am going to cover that with contact paper, as soon as I can score some. In fact, my room and the hallway outside my room has increasingly become an exercise in "urban revitalization."

NOTE: After getting some valuable feedback, this blog post was corrected to change "gifts from Afghanistan" to "Afghan trinkets of nominal value" in the headline, and the text was changed a bit to reflect the headline.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Motion To Dismiss In Latest "Spanky Pete" Lawsuit...

"Wacky court case" stock photo and blog post by John Hoff

Level Three sex offender and "Rule 9" frivolous litigant Peter "Spanky Pete" Stephenson, who uses the alias "Peter Rickmyer," just can't be deterred from filing gibberish-filled quasi-lawsuit documents with the court system. The backstory on Pete is long, and many of our regular readers know it, but some might not.

So here is the "creepy lubed up thumb nail" version of "The Tale Of Peter" up to this point in time...

Peter R. Stephenson spanks minors for sexual gratification, exposed himself to a child in a hotel room, and is generally creepy. Creepy enough that he was hospitalized or incarcerated (take your pick) for being such a creep-a-zoidal creepster, but Peter got himself released and thrust back upon society. So where did Peter decide to live where he could accomplish this societal Peter thrusting? North Minneapolis, of course, dumping ground of deviants. (And we are INCREASINGLY PISSED about that!)

For many years, Stephenson contented himself by filing lawsuits pro se, in forma pauperis, against an assortment of decent folks. He sued some nice church ladies who didn't want him around the church children. He sued the Tupperware lady, alleging Tupperware he ordered didn't get properly delivered. People feared Stephenson and the hassle he could cause with his lawsuits, even though Stephenson's legal track record was abysmal and the lawsuits read like they were written by an insane person. But Peter could still tie you up in court, make you spend money.

Peter haunted the downtown government center building, learning as much legal stuff as his cracked brain would allow, kind of like that guy in Cape Fear only Peter wasn't as smart as De Niro's character, nor as good-looking. When Peter haunted the high-profile Larry Maxwell trial(for reasons that still aren't entirely clear, though some neighbors speculated Peter was reporting back to slumlord Keith Reitman on each day's events) everything sort of hit the fan.

And, arguably, it hit the fan because it got BLOGGED ABOUT. Suddenly the events everybody in the neighborhood knew about--the way Peter would skulk around various public events where minors were commonly in attendance, his mentally cracked anal bead string of lawsuits against almost random individuals--these things were no longer confined to unrecorded, inaccessible conversations in North Minneapolis social circles.

Peter, and the chilling concerns he presented to citizens in the neighborhood, were described in detail to the whole wired world.

All the shit had been building up for years, but now the shit was being poured into a giant fan, like the industrial sized fans used to (for example) move air around in the hallway of an army barracks.

The negative attention Pete got on the blogosphere seemed to push Pete to do even crazier things, kind of like Lindsey Lohan, only the opposite of hot.

Pete got removed from a courtroom during a trial over who was the "true leadership" of the Jordan Area Community Council. He was removed by Will McDonald who was, at that time, Peter's probation officer. ("Zookeeper" is a more accurate description, only feces-hurling apes are more lovable)

Some time later, Pete tried to file a gigantic "midnight manifesto" slash lawsuit against this blogger and an assortment of other folks for, (in general and to the degree the gibberish in the lawsuit can be understood by sane people) being big meanies and saying critical things about a Level Three Sex Offender who likes to thrust himself into neighborhood politics where he is not wanted, not welcome, and makes a shocking spectacle of himself kind of like somebody who masturbates on a public bus.

There was an attempt to serve the lawsuit on this blogger in City Council Chambers which was not successful, but certainly became notorious. This blogger was never served. The lawsuit went forward. It went forward in the sense that a motion was made by one of the defendants to declare Spanky Pete a frivolous litigant and that motion was successful. From that day forward, Spanky Pete couldn't file a lawsuit without a licensed lawyer signing off on it, and the Chief Judge approving it.

Around this time, City Pages did a front page story on Peter Rickmyer.

After the Judge issued his "frivolous litigant under Rule 9" order, spunky Spanky Pete tried to file something anyway, a purported "injunction" document to keep this blogger from publishing stuff about Rickmyer. Once again, given the insane and rambling nature of the writings Pete files with the court system, it is difficult to say what any particular document is "about." But, in general, Peter was complaining about stuff being published about him, and in particular one photograph he was bitching about.

(Pardon the rough language of this blog post, gentle readers, I am constantly around individuals who cuss a lot here in Afghanistan)

When Peter filed that document with the court, this was a violation of the order of the judge which told Peter NOT to file his crazy crap with the local judicial system. I'm paraphrasing. I don't think the order contained the word "crazy" or "crap." But that was the gist of it. Of course, being a Level Three sex offender, Peter is supposed to be closely monitored. For doing what he did and violating the order of the judge, Peter went back to prison for a short while, at Lino Lakes. And we were all SO HAPPY to have him gone. Neighbors could walk the sidewalk in front of his house and not worry that the local pervert would come flying out like a rabid bat in heat.

Peter wasn't out of prison long, however, before he had another lawsuit going. And, incredibly, he got a lawyer to sign off on it. That lawyer was none other than Jill Clark.

Once again, this blogger is named in the lawsuit but has not been served. As a soldier stationed overseas, I am protected from being roped into a civil lawsuit, even if such a lawsuit had a lick of merit and wasn't filed by a freak who should be a freak on a leash, but isn't.

Yes, indeed, Pete's attempts to serve me have been epic and legendary. He once thrust papers into the hands of my lawyer, but my lawyer was representing me on a DIFFERENT matter and NOT on the Spanky Pete fiasco, so Pete didn't manage to serve me even though he came within, like, two feet of me with PAPERS.

Sheeeesh! Such a close call! Kind of like when that 50 cal popped off. Well...never mind. That's a different story for a different day.

Living in Afghanistan, I am safe and sound, utterly beyond Pete's ability to rope me into a lawsuit FOR NOW.

But who knows, I might be in the States on leave some time in the near future.

And I might drop tantilizing little clues about my location, to give Pete a fair chance to have somebody thrust the lawsuit paperwork into my hand. I have plenty of hand sanitizer in army green bottles, to use after I handle any document that has ALSO been handled by Peter.

But other defendants aren't so bulletproof when it comes to getting served, and they have to face Pete in court and expend their financial resources. The lawsuit names Joan Fabian, the Minnesota Commissioner of Corrections, and Probation Officer Will McDonald.

Why Pete wants to take on these powerful entities who will crush him like a cocky cockroach is a mystery to me, but we all know Pete is cracked in the noggin.

So--! Well--!

One of the defendants is Michael "Kip" Browne, the guy who pulled the Jordan Area Community Council back together after years of mismanagement. Recently, Browne's attorney made a motion to dismiss under "Rule 12.03 of the Rules of Civil Procedure, Minn. Stat. 554.02 and the doctrine of res judicata."

Wow. Sounds like a real lawyer wrote that. The motion also requests reasonable attorney fees and costs for the defendant, Browne.

To which I say: Good luck with that, Browne. You know only the person who has been ISSUED the EBT card is allowed to USE the EBT card.

I'm just sayin'.

The motion is apparently scheduled to be heard in...


It is said the wheels of justice grind slowly, but they grind exceedingly fine.

To this famous and venerable quote I add: Don't stand near those wheels with your Peter exposed.

Fourth Precinct Gathers Impact Statements On Jerry Jordan Calhoun, Druggie Professional Panhandler And Pain In The Civic Backside...

Stock photo, weathered dollar bill, blog post by John Hoff

There really should be some kind of "Welcome To North Minneapolis" message painted somewhere. I've suggested the old railroad bridge near Broadway Pizza.

But instead of a painted welcome message, we have Jerry Jordan Calhoun, a professional panhandler and druggie who likes to station himself right at Broadway and Washington.

Have you ever WATCHED a professional panhandler doing his thing? Cars pass by filled with kindly souls, some of whom will hand over a Styrofoam box of hot food. The panhandler will nod and smile, but it's a tight-lipped smile, as though to say, "Why won't you sons-of-bitches give me MONEY like I asked? DAMN IT I NEED A DRINK!!!!"

As soon as his benefactors are out of sight, the box of food is set down somewhere, possibly never to be touched again. Go to the places where panhandlers habitually panhandle, look around, and often you will see cast-off gifts of consumable items littering the ground.

Once, when I was attending U of M and studying Public Administration, I was walking in the Marcy-Holmes neighborhood (Ward 3!) when I saw the driver of a passing car hand over a box of food, the box actually steaming in the cold morning air. The panhandler stood with the box of hot food, waiting for the car to leave when the light changed.

"You want that?" I asked, walking by.

He wordlessly handed me the box.

Mmmmmm. Sesame chicken and fried rice!

There are First Amendment issues associated with panhandling. People have a right to ask for money based on nothing more than pathetic, unwashed need and an unwillingness to use the system to get ahead due to personality issues.

Oh, yes.

But the government has a right to create rationale "time, place and manner" restrictions. Like, "Not within 80 feet of an ATM" or "not on a busy freeway exit."

And what does Calhoun do with the money he collects from well-meaning suckers?

It would appear Calhoun uses drugs, based on the time Calhoun was caught with drug paraphernalia at KFC, along with his no account friend Calvin Eldridge Smith.

It's hard for a mere panhandler to get on the civic radar to the point a special effort is made to prosecute him. But through hard work--or a concerted LACK of hard work, just begging for money--Jerry Jordan Calhoun has passed that threshold.

What should I say? Congratulations?

Here's the sampling of police reports sent around by the Fourth Precinct, and god bless them! I will be sending my impact statement from the other side of the planet, but I will send it...

Report Details

Reported Date: Oct 28, 2010 16:16 Reporting Officer: 000324: Brandon Bartholomew
Last Uploaded: Oct 28, 2010 Date Printed: Aug 10, 2011
Related CCN : --
Precinct: 04
Incident Details

Offense1: CONTMP Desc: Contempt of Court Statute: 588.01 Attempted:
Address: Broadway AV W
Minneapolis, MN
Intersection: Washington AV N
Occurred From: 10/28/2010 14:59 Occurred To: 10/28/2010 14:59
Public Data

I observed A1 at the above location. A1 is geographically restricted from this location per the courts. A1 was cited for listed charge.

A1 is known offender.

Case closed with tag

Role / Role #: A001 MPD#:
Name: Calhoun, Jerry Jordan
Residence: 1322 Emerson AV N
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Telephone: N:
Date of Birth: 07/03/1966 Event Age: 44 Est. Age: 44 - 44
Race: Black Medical Treatment: No
Sex: Male Prior Injury: No

Arrest Information
Arrest Address: Precinct:
Arrest Date: Oct 28, 2010 15:04
Arrest Location:
Disposition: cited released
Arresting Officer: 000324: Bartholomew, Brandon Michael Call/Sqd: 8422
Arresting Officer: 007856: Tucker, Christopher D Call/Sqd: 8422

Status Type Charge Code Statute Citation Related CCN
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor CONTMP - Contempt of Court 588.01 110203128
Public Information Report Minneapolis Police Department CCN: MP-09-346601
Report Details

Reported Date: Nov 9, 2009 00:45 Reporting Officer: 000324: Brandon Bartholomew
Last Uploaded: Nov 9, 2009 Date Printed: Aug 10, 2011
Related CCN : --
Precinct: 04
Incident Details

Offense1: TRSPAS Desc: Trespassing Statute: 609.605 Attempted:
Address: 17 AV N
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Intersection: Washington AV N
Occurred From: 11/08/2009 16:23 Occurred To: 11/08/2009 16:23
Public Data

I was in a marked squad when I observed A1 standing near the state "No Trespassing" sign which is posted on the exit ramp from I94. A1 was holding a panhandling sign attempting to get money from vehicles exiting the freeway. I stopped A1 and he stated that he saw the No Trespassing sign. A1 was cited for Trespassing and released.

case closed with tag.

Role / Role #: A001 MPD#:
Name: Calhoun, Jerry Jordan
Residence: 1322 Emerson AV N
Minneapolis, MN
Telephone: N: ext. n
Date of Birth: 07/03/1965 Event Age: 44 Est. Age: 44 - 44
Race: Black Medical Treatment: No
Sex: Male Prior Injury: No

Arrest Information
Arrest Address: Precinct:
Arrest Date: Nov 8, 2009 16:26
Arrest Location:
Disposition: cited released
Arresting Officer: 000324: Bartholomew, Brandon Michael Call/Sqd: 8422

Status Type Charge Code Statute Citation Related CCN
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor TRSPAS - Trespassing 609.605 109201620
Report Details

Reported Date: Sep 22, 2010 15:39 Reporting Officer: 000725: James Boyd
Last Uploaded: Sep 23, 2010 Date Printed: Aug 10, 2011
Related CCN : --
Precinct: 04
Incident Details

Offense1: TRSPAS Desc: Trespassing Statute: 609.605 Attempted:
Address: 7 ST N
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Intersection: Lyndale AV N
Occurred From: 09/22/2010 15:11 Occurred To: 09/22/2010 15:15
Public Data

Ap1 was standing on the southeast corner of the above in front of a MNDOT no tresspassing zone. These areas are designated by MNDOT to be areas of high crime of loitering tresspass and other related crimes. Per administration memo 2 summers ago. Ap1 has been seen efore in other MNDOT no tresspassing zones and was Id'd per MDC and NCIC in the squad computer. Ap1 was cited in lieu of arrest for tresspass.

Case Closed /Citation

Role / Role #: A001 MPD#:
Name: Calhoun, Jerry Jordan
Residence: Npa
Telephone: H:none
Date of Birth: 07/03/1966 Event Age: 44 Est. Age: 44 - 44
Race: Black Medical Treatment: No
Sex: Male Prior Injury: No

Arrest Information
Arrest Address: Precinct:
Arrest Date: Sep 22, 2010 15:00
Arrest Location:
Disposition: Cited Released
Arresting Officer: 000725: Boyd, James W Call/Sqd: 410

Status Type Charge Code Statute Citation Related CCN
Other Misdemeanor TRSPAS - Trespassing 609.605 110032672

Report Details

Reported Date: Dec 8, 2009 00:48 Reporting Officer: 000324: Brandon Bartholomew
Last Uploaded: Dec 8, 2009 Date Printed: Aug 10, 2011
Related CCN : --
Precinct: 04
Incident Details

Offense1: POSDPA Desc: Drug Paraphernalia Statute: 223.235 Attempted:
Offense2: TRSPAS Desc: Trespassing Statute: 609.605 Attempted:
Address: 1301 Broadway AV W
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Occurred From: 12/03/2009 19:22 Occurred To: 12/03/2009 19:22
Public Data

We received a 911 call from KFC regarding three males inside the store. Two of the males were stopped and drug paraphernalia was located. Both were cited for POSDPA and TRSPAS. A1 was ID'ed by HENRAP. A2 is known to officers from previous contacts.

Case closed with tags.

Role / Role #: A001 MPD#:
Name: Smith, Calvin Eldridge
Residence: 1025 Portland AV S
Minneapolis, MN
Telephone: N:
Date of Birth: 01/30/1971 Event Age: 38 Est. Age: 38 - 38
Race: Black Medical Treatment: No
Sex: Male Prior Injury: No

Arrest Information
Arrest Address: Precinct:
Arrest Date: Dec 3, 2009 18:42
Arrest Location:
Disposition: cited released
Arresting Officer: 000324: Bartholomew, Brandon Michael Call/Sqd: 8422
Arresting Officer: 007856: Tucker, Christopher D Call/Sqd: 8422

Status Type Charge Code Statute Citation Related CCN
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor POSDPA - Drug Paraphernalia 223.235 109201755
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor TRSPAS - Trespassing 609.605 "

Role / Role #: A002 MPD#:
Name: Calhoun, Jerry Jordan
Residence: 1322 Emerson AV N
Minneapolis, MN
Telephone: N:
Date of Birth: 07/03/1966 Event Age: 43 Est. Age: 43 - 43
Race: Black Medical Treatment: No
Sex: Male

Arrest Information
Arrest Address: Precinct:
Arrest Date: Dec 3, 2009 19:45
Arrest Location:
Disposition: cited released
Arresting Officer: 000324: Bartholomew, Brandon Michael Call/Sqd: 8422
Arresting Officer: 007856: Tucker, Christopher D Call/Sqd: 8422

Status Type Charge Code Statute Citation Related CCN
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor POSDPA - Drug Paraphernalia 223.235 109201756
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor TRSPAS - Trespassing 609.605 "

Victim Impact Statements Being Gathered On Johnnie B. Riggins, King Of The No Accounts...

Stock photo, (Riggins is NOT pictured) and blog post by John Hoff

Regular readers know I throw the term "no account" around pretty freely as a label to describe individuals who appear to move civilization backward rather than forward through a variety of destructive or (at the least) non-productive behavior.

Lots of people are "no accounts" in my book. The pitiable prostitutes whose very presence drags down Penn Ave. N. are "no accounts." So are drug dealers, litterbugs, chronic inebriates, and pretty much anybody who continues to hang around at the bus stop instead of actually getting on the bus.

But Johnnie B. Riggins might be described as the "King of The No Accounts," sitting in his wheelchair throne near bus stops or Mickey's Liquor, where he has been "trespassed" but gets others to buy his booze. (Works out pretty well for Mickey's, wouldn't you say? They still get Johnnie's money but they don't have to put up with Johnnie in the store)

Recently, I received an email from the 4th Precinct, gathering victim impact statements from the decent people who live in North Minneapolis and are impacted by Riggins' behavior. Try as I might...

I couldn't get the impact statement form to download. For that matter, I couldn't get a picture of Riggins to UPLOAD for this blog post. Arg.

When frustrating technical obstacles interfere with the pure, expressive joy of blogging I get frustrated for a moment, but then I remind myself it's a miracle to get internet inside a fortress of sun baked mud in Afghanistan. So I just dropped an email to the 4th Precinct, asking them to forward my impact statement under these trying circumstances.

In the meantime, here's a little insight into the life of a micro celebrity: Johnnie B. Riggins, King of the North Minneapolis Bus Stop No Accounts.


Public Information Report Minneapolis Police Department CCN: MP-11-130409
Report Details

Reported Date: May 11, 2011 00:45 Reporting Officer: 000324: Brandon Bartholomew
Last Uploaded: May 11, 2011 Date Printed: Aug 10, 2011
Related CCN : --
Precinct: 04
Incident Details

Offense1: CONSME Desc: Consuming In Public Statute: 340A.503 Attempted:
Offense2: LITTER Desc: Littering Statute: 427.30 Attempted:
Offense3: BEGGAR Desc: Begging/panhandling Statute: 385.60 Attempted:
Address: Broadway AV W
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Intersection: Penn AV N
Occurred From: 05/10/2011 17:47 Occurred To: 05/10/2011 17:47
Public Data

Officers observed a repeat offender sitting in his wheel chair at the bus stopping people as they were trying to get on the bus. Officers observed A1 block the entrance to the bus as people were trying to get on the bus. Officers then observed the A1 drinking alcohol in public and he threw the bottle on the ground and did not pick it up. We believed a1 was begging for money so he was stopped and he admitted he was trying to get money. A1 was cited for begging, consuming and litter and released.

case closed with tag

Role / Role #: A001 MPD#:
Name: Riggins, Johnnie B
Residence: 2320 Mcnair AV
Minneapolis, MN 55443
Telephone: N:none
Date of Birth: 10/22/1959 Event Age: 51 Est. Age: 51 - 51
Race: Black Medical Treatment: No
Sex: Male Prior Injury: No

Arrest Information
Arrest Address: Precinct:
Arrest Date: May 10, 2011 18:09
Arrest Location:
Disposition: cited released
Arresting Officer: 000324: Bartholomew, Brandon Michael Call/Sqd: 494
Arresting Officer: 007856: Tucker, Christopher D Call/Sqd: 494

Status Type Charge Code Statute Citation Related CCN
Misdemeanor Misdemeanor BEGGAR - Begging/panhandling 385.60 111201552
End of report for case MP-11-130409. Print ID: dc74f065-90db-4f07-9bcb-30dcfaf76187

Report Details

Reported Date: Jun 2, 2011 09:30 Reporting Officer: 004156: Bret Lindback
Last Uploaded: Jun 2, 2011 Date Printed: Aug 10, 2011
Related CCN : --
Precinct: 04
Incident Details

Offense1: TRSPAS Desc: Trespassing Statute: 609.605 Attempted:
Address: Emerson AV N
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Intersection: Plymouth AV N
Occurred From: 05/25/2011 12:45 Occurred To: 05/25/2011 12:55
Public Data

I observed Suspect Riggins sitting at the Bus Stop on Emerson at Plymouth Av N. From previous contact I know he is Trespassed from MTC Bus Stopped for drinking and Loitering.

I stopped and tried to send him as I was on my way to another call he became argumentative and started to swear. He was drunk. His friend told me that he would take him home. As I was on the way to a call I left his friend in charge of him.

Suspect Ringgins is a continuing problem at the bus stops around this intersection. He his been trespassed from Micky's Liquor and must get others to buy his liquor for him. Then he and his friends sit in the bus stop and drink.
Victim Business

Business Number: B001
Name: Mtc
Address: 560 6 AV N
Minneapolis, MN 55411
Telephone Number:
Victim of: TRSPAS
Alarm Co.:
Safe Vault:
Security Camera:

Friday, August 12, 2011

Level Three Sex Offender Frederick Arden Hamilton Is Reportedly A Fugitive--How Long Will North Minneapolis Suffer L3SO Dumping?

Mug shot, therefore public domain, blog post by John Hoff

It was a prolific and occasionally profane blog commentator named "Boathead" who drew my attention to the fact Level Three Sex Offender Frederick Arden Hamilton is currently a fugitive.

Hamilton, whose smirky, pervy mug shot visage causes him to stand out from all the other Level Three sex offenders dumped in North Minneapolis (and there are so many!) did not have his fugitive status listed when I clicked on his little L3SO profile a moment ago.

"Could Boathead be misinformed?" I wondered.

So I checked the state "Offender Locator" and looked up Frederick Arden Hamilton...

Well, what do you know? The offender locator lists him as "Fugitive Apprehend" while the Level Three profile is, it would appear, sadly out of date. This is so often the case with the Department of Corrections' website, which often has outdated photos, old information...

Yeah, they dump the offenders in our neighborhood and then they could give a damn about keeping the info updated.

I have seen where, sometimes, the mainstream media reports on these dangerous sexual predators going fugitive. However, this one seems to have slipped beneath the radar.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A Belated Shout Out To Tootie's On Lowry And Their "New" Menu...

Photos and blog post by John Hoff

It was back in the spring of this year that Tootie's on Lowry rolled out a new menu. They have old favorites, new favorites, only slightly different prices.

Whenever I go to a restaurant I end up taking pictures of my food. Even if I'm not going to blog about the restaurant, who knows? Maybe I will be the first to upload an image of their cuisine on Google. I don't know why that excites me so much, but it does. It's like terra incognito, out there, with opportunities abounding to write the first review, take the first picture of various establishments.

But when I went to Tootie's some months ago, I really and truly intended to write about their new menu on my blog...not just Google.

But I got busy, what with being deployed to Afghanistan and all.

Pictured above...

...is their excellent ruben and fries, as well as their roast beef and mashed potatoes, smothered in gravy.

So much better than what I had tonight--Mexican rice from an MRE, warmed up with a chemical heater in a cold downpour of Afghan rain.

Oh. Oh. Look at that gravy.

Please, my dear readers.

Go enjoy Tootie's for those of us who can't.

The Holy Bible As A Decorative Object At A Rain Soaked Thug Memorial...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

I took the photo above a couple weeks before I left Minneapolis for a military base in Mississippi, which was my jumping off point for Afghanistan. I am not sure of the exact location of this "thug memorial" though it was a few blocks north of Lowry, and a few blocks east of Lyndale Ave. N.

I think. If memory serves.

I also don't know who was the victim (of likely thug-on-thug violence) memorialized in the wet pile of funereal goodies.

I do know that not one but TWO Bibles were left in the sloppy mess. The first one is visible...

...to the left of the white teddy bear. Note the wet pages bent back at the corner.

Yup, that's a Bible. What's left of it.

There is another small orange Gideon Bible in the upper left of the photo. However, to be completely fair and accurate, it's likely that's not an ENTIRE Bible, just the New Testament.

Maybe with the Books of Psalms and Proverbs thrown in.

It seems fair and accurate to say if the person memorialized here had tried to live by the Bible...even the small orange one...he may have avoided evil companions who cause one's downfall.

Like the Book of Proverbs says in, well, SEVERAL passages.

But what purpose did the Bible serve in this person's life? In the life of the individuals who created this so-called "memorial?"

The Bible is a decorative object, not a holy book. So it's perfectly fine to leave it in the rain. It's like Madonna in the 1980s, wearing a rosary across her bare midriff. It's just a decorative object to her. There's no invocation of GOD in this memorial pictured above. The rain-soaked Bibles mean no more than the rain-soaked teddy bear.

Thug memorials need to be quickly removed from our neighborhoods. Thug memorials are offensive on so many levels, from the glorification of gang lifestyle choices to the casual endorsements of minor drinking via bottles of booze left beneath the names of slain children.

But, as though we needed more, here is another level of offensiveness.

Bibles left in the rain.

Hennepin County Jail Roster-O-Rama, June 1 To August 10, 2011

Stock photo and blog post by John Hoff

So here's the deal, and it's the usual deal, you won't be getting a better deal.

The Hennepin County jail roster is accessible on the internet, but doesn't get "crawled" by Googlebots. By taking a snapshot of the roster, from time to time, and publishing it on Johnny Northside Dot Com, I manage to....

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

"Adult" Car Wash Has Sprung Up on Broadway

(click on image to read, this image added as addendum)
Well, as you can see from the above photos, Broadway has a new business. An "adult" car wash. This is the term being used by revitalizers along Broadway, and let me tell you, this is not a welcomed new business.

As a matter of fact, word is going out through the community that people are being asked to call 9-1-1 if they see this "adult" car wash open for business on Broadway, or for that matter through out the northside. Who knows where it might pop up next.

The above photos were taken this past Saturday, July 30th. Broadway was a busy place; a busy summer weekend, an art crawl along Broadway (FLOW), and some kind of entrepreneurs who wanted to rid NoMi of all the "dirty" cars, pun intended.

For the record, the photos taken at the time were never intended for this blog, just sort of an instant reaction while enjoying FLOW and seeing this at the corner of Broadway and Fremont. My camera was in my hand as I traveled around with friends, and the scene at Bro-Fre was quite unbelievable. And not in a good way.

You see, what the still photos don't capture, is the animation and motion these girls were going through. A lot of bouncing. A lot of dramatic gestures and poses. I'm surprised there wasn't a major car crash. We actually witnessed a motorcycle driver who was so captivated he veered across three lanes of traffic, headed diagonally towards the street gutter in front of Hooks. He managed to focus and correct his bike just in the nick of time. It could have been really ugly.

The three photos shared here are the tame ones. Several more are much more risque and not suitable to share. As you can see in one of the photos above, there is a mom and three children sitting on the bus stop bench directly in front of the "adult" car wash. The picture may not show it, but the mom did not look amused as she sat there waiting for her bus. The bottom photo sort of shows one gal doing a rather dramatic gesture as she wrung out the soapy water from her car wash sponge.

Again, keep in mind the photos don't capture the motion. There was one gal doing such a dramatic dance, well, I can't quite describe it, there was just a lot of bouncing. Everywhere.

So, the issues that have come up around this "adult" car wash are:

Q: Is it even legal? A: Some important folks are working on that. As of right now, people are asked to call 9-1-1 to report it. I'll share a more definitive answer when I receive it.

Q: Is this what we want in our community? A: I guess it depends on who you ask. Even the man on the yellow motorcycle might say no, I'm not sure he can handle this new business. OK, all jokes aside, speaking for myself and based on the looks of the bus stop mom's face, my answer is not only no, but Oh *&%$ NO! These girls belong at a private car show, or a beach festival or some kind of side show, man-fest, concert or whatever. Not on the corner of a residential community on any given day or afternoon they choose to "work." A lot of the kids in this community don't have a strong support structure to learn the difference between what is appropriate behavior for appropriate ages and public conduct. These gals and their scantily-clad-dramatic-car-wash-strip-show will do nothing but cause disgust and confusion and all kinds of unpredictable reactions from folks of all ages and backgrounds.

Q: What can be done about it? A: We'll let the authorities figure that one out, and for now just keep spreading the word that the authorities want to be notified when this is going on. Call 9-1-1 and report the "adult" car wash. At the very least someone can make them put on some clothes and chill out on the dramatic bouncing and gyrating.

Oh, and boycott the business. Word is the owner of the gas station there at Bro-Fre put out an ad on craigslist for these girls. Could be just a rumor, but it's probably got some truth to it. I'll give an update when more info is shared. Let the owner know that as a community we do not approve of this type of public display of, of...of BOUNCING SKIN and it's not a healthy thing for our community.

Stay tuned for updates...

Update #1: I easily found the craigslist ad and added it as an image above. It's not clear who created the craigslist ad, the business owner of the gas station may not have, but that business owner is obviously cooperating with the concept.

(Do Not Click "Read More")

5th Ward City Councilman Don Samuels Gives Weekly Address: Crime Reduction in North Minneapolis

Video by 5th Ward Aide Steve Hogan, blog post by Nomi Passenger

Check out this week's video update from City Councilman Don Samuels about crime reductions throughout north Minneapolis.

As Johnny Northside would say "God Bless the 4th Precint".

Thanks city staffers, police officers and block club leaders who have helped reduce the crime for our community.

(Do Not Click "Read More")