Tuesday, December 4, 2012

No Honor Among Turd Burglars, And No Trial, Either...

Stock photo, from an alley on Newton Ave. N., blog post by John Hoff

Word comes from a reliable source that the four minors apprehended in the midst of a Thanksgiving Day "turd burglary" will all be pleading guilty. Some of the burglars will be testifying against their comrades. All the burglars will be getting probation, forced to pay restitution, and will have to perform community service.

This blogger earnestly hopes the community service will involve cleaning toilets. As for restitution, word is the replacement of the back door cost $467.17.

The burglars will also have to write a letter of apology and, if needed may attend rehab. I am very hopeful their letters of apology will find their way to my hands in the form of PDF files so let's all hope the turd burglars write better than they break and enter.

Furthermore (and this is probably the most humiliating) the burglars will be required to participate in the shooting of a music video for Charlatan of Larceny, a song inspired by their farcical attempts at burglary on Hillside Ave. N. and 22nd Ave. N.

OK, that last part is just me kidding around but, seriously, there's a song in the works. 

No comments: