JNS Exclusive: Slummy Communication Intercepted by Hawthorne Hawkman

Photos by Hawthorne Hawkman, as he watches Slummy Squirrel

by Jordan Neighbor
JNS Guest Blogger

(Caution: parody ahead)

The JNS blog is in receipt of an intercepted communique between Mr. Slummy and his new sidekick, Slummy the Squirrel.
The text of the message is here below, for all to see:
***************************

I was going through the neighborhood one day, looking for a place to hide my nuts for the winter, when lo and behold I came across a hole to China. It was clear something slummy was going on, and I wanted in. I started snooping around the place, but it was clear that residents were watching the house--like a HAWK. The neighborhood called city inspectors and stopped Mr. Slummy, but only for a little while.

Anytime somebody goes up against the city of Minneapolis, that shows it's a PERFECT place for nuts, so I kept on going back to the property located at 2515 3rd St N. Mr. Slummy has left this structure open to the elements since April! Can you imagine how many nuts I've got hidden in there now? AND look how BIG he's made it! I can fit ALL MY NUTTY FRIENDS in there, if only the city will let him get it built by the time winter comes.

Here's the latest news from Mr. Slummy's nuthouse: There was a stop work order placed on it from the city because he didn't pull the proper permits. All he wants to do is cram as many nuts into as huge a structure as possible. Who knew you had to get permits for something like that? Also, he apparently didn't pick up a lot of the debris around the place, and the city has told him he needs to pick up debris from around the dumpsters.

Oh, and one of my friends told me that inside the building, there are five bathtubs waiting to be hooked up! FIVE!!!!! You could put a LOT of nuts in a building that has five bathtubs. Only time will tell if Mr. Slummy will be able to fill his place up with nuts.

(End of Parody Alert)

At the Heart of the City picnic last Friday, residents took a tour of the neighborhood and visited Mr. Slummy's mansion. It was there that the stop work order and order to pick up debris was noted. Neighbors also saw five bathtubs inside the structure, presumably visible from the exterior. One person pointed out that they believed five units was the maximum amount allowed for section 8 rentals of this size. However, the area remains zoned only for 1-2 units and no variance has yet been granted. Thank goodness the city of Minneapolis and the Hawthorne Hawkman are on the job!

(Do not click "Read More" but Do be on the lookout for Slummy the Squirrel)

Mr. Slummy's Dreams Rise To The Sky (The Horror...The Horror...)

Photo By Jeff Skrenes

Residents of the Hawthorne neighborhood continue to watch in drop-jawed, horrified fascination as "Mr. Slummy" keeps fleshing out his disturbing residential vision at 2515 3rd Street N., a situation this blog has followed since Mr. Slummy's "dig to China" efforts put the neighborhood into an uproar.

Now, Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes describes the latest development, in his own words, as follows...

After reading a post on the JNS blog about how the property at 2515 3rd St N is coming along, I went over for a few pictures myself. Now I grew up on a farm, and I know how to recognize a barn being built when I see it. The difference between this and a barn being built on the farm is that we'd involve THE WHOLE COMMUNITY when a farmer put up a barn.

I especially want to draw attention to the picture that shows just the BACK PORTION of this house as it DWARFS 2511 3rd St N. 2511 is no small place either, and just one half of this property makes it look like a cottage house where you keep your mother-in-law when she comes to visit.

REMEMBER, this place is zoned R2-B!!! Only two units allowed!!! If Mr. Slummy wanted to do things the legitimate way, he'd have come to the residents around him and the council and asked for a zoning variance BEFORE he built this monstrosity. Does anybody really believe that this structure, once complete, will have any less than four units?

Hawthorne members, be ready to hold our ground and make sure the city council does NOT grant a variance for more than two units at this site.

Other NoMi folks, come and stand at our side if need be, or Mr. Slummy and his icky friends will think they can get away with this in your neighborhood as well.

(JNS interjects: Oh, god, when the neighborhood leadership starts talking about "holding our ground" and "stand at our side" I just start drooling like a military police K-9 unit. Give me some sacred Hawthorne Neighborhood ground to hold, I say, and I will hold it like it was my very own lover. THIS IS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD! HE CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS CRAP!!! ALL WE NEED IS AN OUTRIGHT AND DOCUMENTED VIOLATION TO NAIL HIS SLUMMY ASS!!! LET'S WATCH AND LET'S NAIL HIM!!!)

Of course, there still remains the possibility that we're wrong and he will live in the property as advertised. And if that indeed does happen, I reiterate my commitment to buy him the aforementioned steak.

(JNS says: And, Mr. Hawthorne Housing Director, I *iterate* my offer to virtually and metaphorically bite a hunk out of his slummy ass and serve it to you on this blog, raw, as human steak tartar)

(Actually, that goes for all North Minneapolis slumlords. Send me pictures, send me facts, and this blog will print that stuff along with an open forum for free and fair comment. Down with slumlords, up with NoMi!)

Mr. Slummy Owes Some Money

Post and photos by the Hawthorne Hawkman (with one exception noted below)

Earlier this week, Hawthorne residents had noticed renewed activity over at "Mr. Slummy's" properties - 2515 and 2519 3rd St N. At this point, there doesn't seem to be much happening at 2515 other than pushing some dirt around. Given some unresolved issues and a stop work order at the address, a 311 call was made nonetheless.

Coincidentally, at a recent social gathering among "NoMi Homies," we were theorizing where "Mr. Slummy" (real name: Mohammed Amro, doing business as Amro's Properties) got his money from. After all, the work he's done, while lacking permits and being out of zoning compliance, can't be free. So I went down to Hennepin County to do a little digging--not as much digging as shown above, but digging nonetheless.

Before we get to that, however, I realize that since winning the City Pages best local blog in 2010, we may have some new readers unfamiliar with this story. So to summarize...

...Hawthorne activists such as Dyna Sluyter were posting about Amro's half-demolition of 2515 3rd St N over Easter weekend in 2009. Connie Nompelis posted about this on her blog and she and other Hawthornites contacted me while I was on vacation in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. As soon as I got back, I confronted a person I believe was Mr. Amro although I didn't get his name. His work was shut down on Easter Monday, and John blogged about it here. The first picture above is from that day, and the second shot would later become a visual metaphor for Amro's precarious financial situation.

In an interesting historic twist, the first comment on that blog post was an anonymous person who coined the name "Hawthorne Hawkman." I liked the nickname so much I changed my Google profile from "The Mortgage Geek" to what you see now. In this way, Mr. Slummy and the Hawthorne Hawkman are forever intertwined.

A very extensive photo gallery of Mr. Slummy's work can be found on my personal Facebook page.

But even with an initial stop work order, Amro applied for permits and resumed his work. This work included adding six egress windows and building an addition so large that nobody really believed he would comply with the residential two-unit (R2-B) zoning for the area. Those suspicions were confirmed when, at a 2009 Heart of the City picnic, five bathtubs were seen inside the property (which was flagrantly open to trespass, making such observations rather convenient).





We got the property boarded up, though. (photo below taken by John Hoff)



Fast forward to the present day. Work has been largely stopped at 2515 3rd St N, although Amro's white pickup truck is often seen in front of 2519 3rd St N. He owns this property as well, and even though he stripped off the siding and put in ugly windows, it appears as if most everything he's done at 2519 has been up to code, with permits, and in compliance with zoning.

What he HASN'T done, however, is actually PAID some of the people who did the work. Siwek Lumber and Millwork filed a mechanic's lien against 2519 3rd St N in October of last year for the amount of $14,841.06 for unpaid work from 4/4/09 through 10/8/09. The lien is filed against the property and against Mohammed Amro as well as Amro's Properties Inc.

There is also a second lien filed by the same entity for the same reasons at 2515 3rd St N in the amount of $12,216.11. Interestingly, there is no mortgage filed against either property. Amro either purchased with cash, or in some under-the-table way in which the holder of the debt has not filed a lien against the properties. Clearly the work done at both places far exceeds $27,000. So the next question is this: did Mr. Slummy pay for that work out of pocket, or does he owe more money in ways that haven't surfaced yet?

And speaking of surfaces, there is still an unresolved issue. Amro did not remove the mounds of dirt he created when excavating. He merely pushed it around and leveled off both of his properties. The problem with that, as evidenced below, is that the house to the south has had their fence damaged. And every time it rains, dirt washes into their garden. Amro needs to remedy this issue before even more fees pile up.

Uncle Lennie's Store Offers Organic Weeds and Locally Made Trash to the North Minneapolis Community...

Photos by JNS Field Correspondent

by Jordan Neighbor
JNS Guest Blogger

The JNS International Headquarters received a Hot Tip in the comment section of an earlier post. The commenter mentioned that weeds and trash have begun to spring up from the Spring Board Economic Development Corp's newest property.

A field corespondent was dispatched immediately. The images captured this morning are here for the readers to view, including an exclusive image of Slummy the Squirrel who was interviewed. The story is that Slummy the Squirrel was supposed to be over at Mr. Slummy's Hole to China, cleaning up the debris and getting in compliance with the City's inspection orders. But he was too lazy to do the work and he heard there was a pile of trash in the alley behind Uncle Lennie's so he scampered over to ch-ch-ch-check it out for himself. He was hoping to find free alley nuts instead of having to actually WORK for the cache of nuts that Mr. Slummy was offering.

Unfortunately, while Slummy the Squirrel was gone, a hard working City crew was dispatched to Mr. Slummy's operation to do the clean up work that was left behind by the slacking, slummy squirrel and the slimy, slummy property owner.

(Do not click "Read More" but Do check out the Next Post)

Mr. Slummy's Dream House Open To Trespass...

Photo By Jeff Skrenes

The disturbing saga of "Mr. Slummy's Dream House" has taken a new turn. The house at 2515 3rd Street North--which one reliable source says has FIVE BATHTUBS, and yet is SUPPOSEDLY a residence and not a rental in the making--has been unsecured and open to trespass for the past couple days. This according to Jeff Skrenes, Hawthorne's ubiquitous and hardworking Housing Director. The owner, Mr. Slummy, is "nowhere to be seen." Concerned neighbors are, however, keeping close watch.

Mr. Slummy's little buddy, Slummy The Squirrel, has reportedly been hanging out all the time at Uncle Lennie's store in Willard Homewood, waiting for a backhoe to show up and do all the difficult nut-hole digging for him.

(Do not click "Read More")

2515 3rd St N Flagrantly Open to Trespass!

Guest post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman

While I was on the road, leaving "Snowmageddon" to visit family in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan (NOT an improvement in the weather department, by the way) I received a message about Mr. Slummy's house in Hawthorne...

This house - and I use that term loosely at this point - has first floor openings that anyone can just waltz right into. Area residents have seen what they describe as "small children enter[ing] the building through the unsecured openings."

The family living next door to 2515 has had numerous concerns regarding this property from the very beginning. An eight-foot hole covering an entire backyard was left with no silt fence and no protective measures to keep kids from falling in. The city did act quickly in this regard, but shouldn't have had to even lift a finger to get Mohammed Amro to apply at least the simplest regard for the lives and safety of children in the neighborhood.

The mounds of dirt ruined the fence separating the two properties, and reportedly Mr. Slummy even tried to bully the family into tearing down the fence entirely (despite the fact that these kind folks are renters and not owners). The dirt excavated from 2515 was mostly spread around on that site, leading to a 2-6 inch difference in the height of his yard in comparison to the neighbors'. They had a garden along the fence and that sudden change in levels, separated only by a chain-link fence, causes the dirt to seep across into the other yard every time it rains.

Furthermore, the family has children who play soccer together with kids who live at a house next to 3020 6th St N. So of course they rightly wonder not if but when 2515 will fall victim to arson if it is left unsecured. Frankly, I look at the amount of money Amro would have had to sink in to building this extension (got to be at LEAST $20,000, probably upwards of $60,000) and I think that a post-arson insurance payout is the most financially viable thing Mr. Slummy can accomplish with this structure. I wonder if it is being left open in a deliberate attempt to increase the chance of a fire. Even if the house must be demolished at this point, that needs to happen so that Mr. Slummy gets slapped with the demo cost as a special assessment, not so that an insurance company picks up the tab.

This blog would like to thank the city of Minneapolis and its departments and employees who have done a tremendous job in response so far. The fact that this abomination of housing was stopped in its tracks is a testament to the progress we're making in NoMi. But when his property is this wide open to trespass, it reminds us we still have work to do.

Nothing Says "Slumlord" Like Six Basement Egress Windows...

Photos By Jeff Skrenes

This blog previously reported the story of "Mr. Slummy" and his epic hole-to-China, an event which alarmed and galvanized our neighborhood. Well, there's been a new turn of events at 2515 3rd St. North...

Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes notes--with alarm and horror--how Mr. Slummy is now adding egress windows to his basement. Each of these windows apparently represents slumlord sugar-plum-fairy dreams of an income-generating bedroom.

There are AT LEAST six egress windows, Jeff says, but he's not positive there aren't EIGHT. Who's counting? In any case, it's TOO MANY. And, for now, we are unable to stop Mr. Slummy because he operates under the dubious claim that what he's actually building here--multiple egress windows and all--is NOT intended to be rental housing but his primary residence.

Here is Jeff's rallying message to the neighborhood, unedited:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

These are the recent pictures of the basement at 2515 3rd St N. What do you notice? This is no ordinary basement. He has egress windows EVERYWHERE.

Most places, you'd think, you'd want one or two such windows in the basement. But something tells me he's not just putting those in for overall safety. There will be numerous BEDROOMS down there. Bedrooms on the second floor. Bedrooms on the third. Bedrooms in the original part of the house, and bedrooms in the addition. He's not building his primary residence, as
he so nobly claims. He's building a MOTEL.

The city claims he's got the proper permits and doesn't need zoning variances to do what he's doing. Okay. Well we still have permit processes for rental licenses and occupancy. We need to come down HARD on this SLUMLORD the RED HOT SECOND he tries to put ANYONE ELSE in this place.

We KNOW it's going to happen, so let's be prepared.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

JNS says: that's why we call him the Hawthorne Hawkman. He protects the people of the Hawthorne Neighborhood, and we don't take kindly to slumlords 'round these parts.

Slummy the Squirrel Slacks Off, City Crew Cleans up Slummy Property

Photos by JNS Field Correspondent

by Jordan Neighbor
JNS Guest Blogger

The JNS International Headquarters is in receipt of images and first hand account of some pretty slummy activity that continues to plague 3rd Street North in the beloved neighborhood of Hawthorne:

*******************************************
I was driving through the neighborhood today when I saw a wonderful sight: Two city employees cleaning up the debris from in front of Mr. Slummy's dumpster. Frankly, this should erase any doubt anyone has about what kind of a property owner he will be. He's had a stop-work order posted since August 3rd for improper permits, and that order also said he needed to clean up overflowing debris around his dumpster.

Well, two and a half weeks later, he STILL hasn't picked it up, even though it's about the volume of one pickup truck bed. So I snapped a photo with my legally obtained Blackberry - I didn't have my camera with me, and anyway, most city workers doing this kind of manual labor prefer not to be identified.

When I got back to the office, I noticed that a neighbor posted concerns about the structure itself and JNS was in need of a good field correspondent to verify such concerns. I donned my Hawkman uniform (shirtless in the rain! Y'all missed it!), strapped my camera to my utility belt, and off I went.
*******************************************
Thanks JNS Field Correspondent!

If you want more pictures and more commentary, check out this great photo album on facebook, posted by a dedicated neighborhood staffer.

Also, click here for the long list of property assessments on city website.

(Do not click "Read More" but do be careful of eroding foundations at slummy properties near you)

SOUND THE ALARM! MR. SLUMMY IS BACK TO WORK!

Post and photos by the Hawthorne Hawkman

As I was leaving town on Friday, I noticed a ladder up against the side of the house at 2515 3rd St N. I made a mental note to call 311 about it, but that slipped my mind until today. Clearly Mohammed Amro of Amro's Properties Inc., or as we call him on JNS, "Mr. Slummy," is back to work.

Back to work? How could THAT be? Last year, at a Heart of the City picnic, NoMi residents noted five bathtubs visible inside the property. After we called that in to 311 and CM Hofstede, we were told that a stop work order had been issued until Amro presents plans that are in compliance with the R2-B (two-unit residential) zoning requirements for the property.

But yet, when I called 311 TODAY...

...I was told that no such orders existed. According to this 311 operator, either the stop work order had never been issued, or the property owner met the criteria for being able to start work again.

If Amro does indeed have permission to do this work, then where are the plans? The first picture above shows roof work being done. The second shows ladders both on the exterior and in the interior of the property. The second-to-last shot shows a window that's been installed, and finally, he's cut open one of the bottom windows and once again left his property open to trespass.

A message was left with CM Hofstede's office today. Hawthorne neighbors expect to see either YET ANOTHER stop work order issued against Amro, or the plans that he presumably presented and the city presumably approved showing that this house will be a 2-unit structure.

Big Worries Over Fate Of 2510 4th St. N. (Will Jonah Get Swallowed By The Whale?)

Photos By John Hoff


First of all, Hawthorne Housing Committee meetings are open to the public. I happen to be the secretary of the committee, and I took notes at the Wednesday night meeting, but these were handwritten notes and I turned over my only copy. (Computer issues, don't wanna get into it) So everything that I'm now writing and recalling is from my role as an observer at that meeting. Having said that...

Jonah Bridger seems like a nice man. He says he used to be an army corpman and served on the U.S.S. Mercy. He says he's from George. I make a point of saying "he says" because, really, very little he says can be independently confirmed and there is ample reason for doubt and worry, given what Jonah says.

Jonah says he's getting ready to buy an 11-unit apartment complex (pictured above) at 2510 4th St. N. for a mere $60k. He plans to live on-site as the apartment manager.

Has Jonah ever owned, renovated or managed something like that before? Jonah says he doesn't have much "recent" experience and mentions that his father--now sadly quite ill, and apparently a resident of the Twin Cities--used to be quite a slumlord. But Jonah says we should have FAITH in him. We should give him the benefit of the doubt and BELIEVE in him, as evidenced by the fact he came to our committee in the first place to talk to us...right before he's all set to buy the building.

Oh, did I mention the building has been vacant for so long that it has lost its variance, and the only way it can be an apartment building again is if the city would approve? So, it would appear, the opinion of the neighborhood is very important to the future of that building.

Jonah reminds me of two differnt people. First, he reminds me of slumlord Bashir Moghul, who has an ability to be very polite and make all the right kinds of noises at neighborhood meetings, but when you look at what he actually does, Bashir is part of the PROBLEMS of North Minneapolis, not part of the SOLUTIONS. He's a slumlord, plain and simple. Click here for an example of Bashir's outrageously bad slumlord behavior, documented in a HUD news release.

Jonah also reminds me of Lennie Chism with his big dreams of renovating the old Uncle Bill's store, without really saying how, specifically, he will come up with the resources to pull that off. Lennie just keeps talking about the need to engage in positive thinking and believe in Lennie. So Jonah reminds me of Lennie, though thankfully Jonah has enough humility not to make constant comparisons between himself and the great men of history.

A more important point: the building in question looks like a wreck from the outside, so who knows what it's like inside? Jonah told the committee all the pipes had been ripped out and pointed out how, my word, something like that must have taken DAYS. Where were THE POLICE, he wondered aloud? Why didn't somebody CALL?

The other day I went to 2015 4th St. N., in the rain, and rainwater was pouring off the flat roof and down two sides of the building like the structure was a whale with blow holes.(See photos) Is this building going to be the whale that financially swallows Jonah?

If the building has rain gutters, they didn't appear to be working as the water running down the walls has soaked the boarded-up windows. This has apparently gone on for years. Water must be all in the walls along those areas where it drains so badly. You really have to wonder about toxic mold.

I wonder if Jonah is listening to the voice of reason or just some woo-woo mystical voice in his head which is saying something about how this "feels right." Heaven help our neighborhood. We have suffered enough from slumlords. I, for one, prefer to draw a line in the sand and say there is NO WAY I'd be in favor of seeing any variance granted to that building. If you think THIS blog post is harsh, trust me that you have not yet seen harsh, click here. To use a metaphor somebody might understand after serving on the U.S.S. Mercy: this is just a shot across your bow.

Hopefully, Jonah will get hard estimates on required work and really consider how difficult it would be to procure the zoning variance. And then, hopefully, he will cut his losses and walk away from the table rather than get into something way, way over his head. I sincerely hope so.

One interesting thing to note: the bottom photo shows how close the apartment building is to "Mr. Slummy," the guy building some kind of residential monstrosity which he claims will NOT be a rental property. I've written about Mr. Slummy quite a few times, click here for an example of the ongoing horror.

I can't help but think how CONVENIENT it might be to have all the bad rentals concentrated in one spot.

Oh, wait. We already TRIED that in Hawthorne, and it wasn't convenient at all, click here.

Never mind.

Mister Slummy Continues His Work At 2515 3rd St. N.

Photo Contributed By Jeff Skrenes, "The Hawthorne Hawkman"

Directly in front of the horrified eyes of residents, "Mr. Slummy" continues his progress (and I use the term loosely) at 2515 3rd St. N.

A resident of the Hawthorne Neighborhood recently sent this photo. We watch, we wait, we suspect and anticipate that he'll be wanting a rental license. And when that happens, well, residents will be screaming from the rooftops. In the meantime, we can only watch and document and (perhaps most important) get the word out: so-called "investors" and wannabe slumlords do not have free reign in the Hawthorne Neighborhood.

We are watching, we are taking pictures, and the blogosphere is our friend.

(Do not click "Read More")

You See A Vacant Building, But Somebody Else Sees Advertising Space

Photo By John Hoff

About a week ago, I noticed a new development with vacant buildings in North Minneapolis. Somebody has posted paperwork which seems kind of like an "official notice," warning anybody who buys the property they will need "construction plans" to make any renovations.

Lately, the price of houses in North Minneapolis has dropped so irresistibly low, some folks are jumping into buying property with very little idea of the requirements--rather extensive requirements--required of non-owner-occupied properties. The new paperwork manifesting on doors appears to be...


...actually some kind of advertisement for services.

Normally, if I saw an advertisement tacked to the boards of a vacant house, I'd rip it down under my sensible interpretation of the "neighbors should adopt houses" mandate, wherein the City of Minneapolis has publicly told citizens to feel free to pick up litter, rake leaves, etc. and not worry those acts would be considered "trespassing" when it comes to these vacant and neglected houses.

However, since I believe these notices are actually doing some good--alerting possible buyers that some hoops must be hurdled in association with the purchase of property--I plan to just leave the notices alone when I encounter them in the course of keeping a wary eye on vacant houses.

What we REALLY need are notices that tell the story of Mr. Slummy and how--quite recently-- the Hawthorne Neighborhood put his BLOODY SEVERED HEAD ON A POLE, a thing of horror and an object of warning to all these oh-so-excited "property investors" who think North Minneapolis is their oyster.

Know this, and if the "property investors" don't like it, TOUGH:

There are smart and informed people in North Minneapolis neighborhoods systematically scrutinizing slummy rental property, and reporting every visible violation, every instance of non-permitted work, even forwarding PHOTOS to the 311 system. We are organized, and we will not only REPORT you, we will drag the matter through the internet in a very public way. We'll show up at your house in the suburbs and PICKET YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR NEIGHBORS.

SLUMLORDS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

Slow, Painful Collapse Of Mohamad Amro's Slumlord Empire, A Stark And Terrible Warning To Bad Actors Thinking About "Investing" In North Minneapolis Property...

Contributed photo, 2519 3rd St. N, blog post by John Hoff

Mohamad Amro, who earned lasting fame on this blog as "Mr. Slummy" and inadvertently helped to launch the independent blogging career of the Hawthorne Hawkman, hasn't been written about for a while. In order to create a decent one-post interval between Part Thirty-Six and Thirty-Seven of the Madness of Jill Clark, it's about time for an update about the slow, painful collapse of what once promised to be a sprawling empire of slum...

Do Not Adjust Your Computer Monitor, These Slummy Images Are Just As They Appear...

Contributed Photos, Jeff Skrenes

Continuing with the previous posting about "Mr. Slummy" and his big dreams at 2515 3rd St. N., here are more pictures contributed by Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes, a.k.a. "The Hawthorne Hawkman."

First of all, the top photo is NOT upside down. Yes, the words...

"Keep Out" are painted on the door, and those words are upside down but, well, the photo is right side up. In the next image, renovation activity spills over to the public sidewalk but, hey, who cares? The last photo gives an idea what the house looks like right now.

I'm guessing vinyl siding will follow, none of this original-style historic clapboard stuff, no sir!

More Images Of Morris "Cuckoo" Klock's Slummy Building At 1422 Golden Valley Road...

Photos By John Hoff

Morris "Cuckoo" Klock and some other members of the Klock family are suing Council Member Don Samuels, or are they giving him a ringing political endorsement? No, wait, it's both: in the Fifth Ward, getting sued by a scumlord like Morris "Cuckoo" Klock is something like a political endorsement.

So I've already written about the lawsuit and some background to the suit, click here, and I recently wrote about Klock's crappy building at 1422 Golden Valley Road, click here.

Well, I realized I had a few more photos taken with the special crap-coated lens...

...and I should share those photos.

HA! Kidding. I've been wanting to buy the special crap-coated lens for a long time, but I'm too frugal. Usually I make do by picking up a piece of crap from the yard of a slumlord's property and putting it over the lens to produce that "extra crappy" photo effect, like the images above.

Top photo: who needs a screen anyway? A window screen just gets in the way when you want to toss small objects down to your friends below or it might impede you when the police are beating down your door and you have to toss some evidence someplace where you can pretend it isn't associated with you. So, in summary, window screen BAD.

Second photo: this image of curtains all askew (if that even is a curtain, and not some kind of frilly fitted sheet hung over the window) reminds me, oddly enough, of certain touching moments with my son. That is to say, my son when he was a bit younger and more easily creeped out by old buildings. If he saw a curtain like that, I know just what he'd do. He'd pause and look for a long moment, and then he would ask, oh-so-innocently, "Dad, how old is this building? Do you think anybody ever DIED in this building?"

And I'd have to tell him what I always tell him in moments like that: "Alex, there's no proof that a ghostie ever killed or hurt anybody, ever, anywhere at any time in all of human history. FEAR THE LIVING. It's living people, not ghosts who will hurt you and do bad things."

In the next image: protection against the living. Boards over the basement windows so crackheads can't break inside and steal, for example, copper pipes. Not that I'm criticizing Mr. Klock about THAT. The boards are clearly serving a needed purpose. But why do we have yet another boarded building? The evidence will tend to prove Mr. Klock couldn't run his building very well, certainly not like "clockwork."

In the last photo...so sad to see something like this. Apparently, at one time there was some sort of cool decorative brickwork on the front of the building. Well, it's not there any more.

Let us draw the curtain on this sad, morbid tour of the slummy property of Morris Klock, the latest frivolus litigant against Council Member Don Samuels.

Stupid Home Repairs, Addition Edition

Guest post and photos by the Hawthorne Hawkman

I was out doing a rather successful round of foreclosure prevention doorknocking when I came across the house shown above. This is 2901-03 James Ave N.

Jordanites, feel free to comment on how or why this design was ever approved. My guess is that somebody just went ahead and added this outrageously ugly section of a house that doesn't look anything like the rest of the structure or anything else on the block. Only AFTER it was complete did they ask permission of any kind. Oh, and take a look at that last shot. House markers in sharpie!

(Do not click "Read More," but do be grateful that folks like "Mr. Slummy" are now being stopped in their tracks.)