Friday, July 24, 2009
Mr. Slummy's Dreams Rise To The Sky (The Horror...The Horror...)
Photo By Jeff Skrenes
Residents of the Hawthorne neighborhood continue to watch in drop-jawed, horrified fascination as "Mr. Slummy" keeps fleshing out his disturbing residential vision at 2515 3rd Street N., a situation this blog has followed since Mr. Slummy's "dig to China" efforts put the neighborhood into an uproar.
Now, Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes describes the latest development, in his own words, as follows...
After reading a post on the JNS blog about how the property at 2515 3rd St N is coming along, I went over for a few pictures myself. Now I grew up on a farm, and I know how to recognize a barn being built when I see it. The difference between this and a barn being built on the farm is that we'd involve THE WHOLE COMMUNITY when a farmer put up a barn.
I especially want to draw attention to the picture that shows just the BACK PORTION of this house as it DWARFS 2511 3rd St N. 2511 is no small place either, and just one half of this property makes it look like a cottage house where you keep your mother-in-law when she comes to visit.
REMEMBER, this place is zoned R2-B!!! Only two units allowed!!! If Mr. Slummy wanted to do things the legitimate way, he'd have come to the residents around him and the council and asked for a zoning variance BEFORE he built this monstrosity. Does anybody really believe that this structure, once complete, will have any less than four units?
Hawthorne members, be ready to hold our ground and make sure the city council does NOT grant a variance for more than two units at this site.
Other NoMi folks, come and stand at our side if need be, or Mr. Slummy and his icky friends will think they can get away with this in your neighborhood as well.
(JNS interjects: Oh, god, when the neighborhood leadership starts talking about "holding our ground" and "stand at our side" I just start drooling like a military police K-9 unit. Give me some sacred Hawthorne Neighborhood ground to hold, I say, and I will hold it like it was my very own lover. THIS IS OUR NEIGHBORHOOD! HE CAN'T GET AWAY WITH THIS CRAP!!! ALL WE NEED IS AN OUTRIGHT AND DOCUMENTED VIOLATION TO NAIL HIS SLUMMY ASS!!! LET'S WATCH AND LET'S NAIL HIM!!!)
Of course, there still remains the possibility that we're wrong and he will live in the property as advertised. And if that indeed does happen, I reiterate my commitment to buy him the aforementioned steak.
(JNS says: And, Mr. Hawthorne Housing Director, I *iterate* my offer to virtually and metaphorically bite a hunk out of his slummy ass and serve it to you on this blog, raw, as human steak tartar)
(Actually, that goes for all North Minneapolis slumlords. Send me pictures, send me facts, and this blog will print that stuff along with an open forum for free and fair comment. Down with slumlords, up with NoMi!)