Northside Progress Busting Out All Over As Slumlord Keith Reitman's "Blue Twins" Demolished...

Photo by Jeff Skrenes of North By Northside, blog post by John Hoff

Jeff Skrenes of the North by Northside blog was the first to tweet the information (on his NXNS Twitter account) that slumlord Keith Reitman's ugly "blue twins" at 2522 and 2520 Penn Ave. N. were demolished today.

Watch North by Northside blog in the next day or so for video and other information about the demolition.

The ugly "blue twins" were historic buildings which still had some potential until slumlord Keith Reitman neglected them into the landfill. Readers will recall Reitman's "blue twins" were the "winner, winner chicken dinner" of this blog's contest to determine what should Johnny Northside's next obsessive blogging target be.

With the blue twins now reduced to splinters and rubble, I will be announcing a new contest in the near future. Readers and fans are urged to put on your thinking caps in regard to which North Minneapolis livability issue is the most deserving of this blog's highly-focused, creative and critical attention.

Slumlord Keith Reitman Came Off As "Arrogant" During Child Falls From Slummy Window Court Proceedings...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Slumlord Keith Reitman is the "winner, winner, chicken dinner" of the Johnny Northside obsessive blogging project, as previously announced, due to his sad and neglected "blue twin" houses on Penn Ave. N.

But this morning I had to ask myself, "Have I been giving our winner, winner all the bloggy chicken dinner he deserves? What have I done for Keith Reitman lately? More importantly, what do I HAVE on Keith Reitman, lately?"

That's when I remembered an email from Stacy Shaffer, whose small son received a settlement from Reitman after falling from a window...

Slumlord Keith Reitman's Feline, "Bucket The Cat," Dishes Up Insider Info About The Mortgage Fraud At 1564 Hillside Ave. N., The Police Investigation, And Jerry Moore's Purported Role, This Is PART 6 Of Jerry Moore v. John Hoff a/k/a Johnny Northside, Blogger Defamation Case Is On Appeal While Civil Suit Naming Moore Heats Up...

Keith Reitman stock photo, blog post by John Hoff

For three years I tried to get my hands on Keith Reitman's statement to police investigators in regard to 1564 Hillside Ave. N. I asked for it, I begged for it, I made verbal "Minnesota data practices act" requests.

Recently, the statute of limitations passed for criminal prosecution of crimes that took place during the "Golden Era of Mortgage Fraud," 2005 to 2007. The long-sought, much-coveted document casually fell into my hands after all this time.

And I discovered it was typed by a cat.

Quite seriously, the top of the statement reads as follows:

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER! Slumlord Keith Reitman's Sad, Decaying "Blue Twins" Take First Place In The "What Should Johnny's Next Obsessive Blogging Project Be?" Contest!

Photo by Hawthorne Hawkman, blog post by John Hoff

So right after I left Ghazni Province in Afghanistan and arrived at Bagram Air Force Base...a paradise of internet access and mocha lattes, the only downside being five incoming fire alerts five nights in a row and sleeping in a big tent with, like, 100 other men...I learned about Friedman's Shoe Store caving in to my bloggy pressure campaign (they say they didn't, WHATEVER) and actually fixing up their unsightly glass. So the next logical question was...


...where to focus my harsh, burning light of blogospheric attention and criticism NEXT? Who is the most deserving? Where are results needed most? Where could such attention actually get results?

Well, I'm pleased to announce that after much thought, and input both public and behind the scenes, plus a vision in which Reitman appeared to me and said, "Johnny, Johnny, why are you persecuting me?" I've decided...

(Drum roll, please)

(Oh, wait, you already know from the headline)

Our winner is "Level Three Slum Offender" Keith Reitman, whose "blue sisters" at 26th and Penn were falling to ruin BEFORE the tornado, are falling to ruin more AFTER the tornado, have official paper slapped all over them, sit right in the heart of an area desperately needing development, had historic potential once but it's rotted away like unharvested fruit, are the ultimate example of the bastard color known as "Reitman Blue," are only the foremost of MANY examples of scumoidal slumlordery by the aforementioned Reitman, plus I have a really good photo to use as an illustration, so that pretty much bags it.

Congratulations, Keith Reitman. Oh, what fun First Amendment attention you can expect until this eyesore is resolved. Maybe a blues song about the "blue sisters?" Maybe one North Minneapolis "revitalizer" after another posing in front of the properties (on the oh-so-public sidewalk) and holding their noses?

Maybe...here, fill in the blank. Let your imagination work overtime, Keith.

But all in good time. For now, click here to enjoy this video of "paint drumming" by the Blue Man Group.

Is this how the color "Reitman blue" is produced?

Slumlord Keith Reitman's Ugly Twin Sisters At 26th And Penn Ave. N.

Contributed photo, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

Featuring the bastard color known as "Reitman blue," strongly suspected to be the result of mixing a very large batch of multi-color leftover paint all together, the unsightly houses at 26th and Penn Ave. N. are classic Keith Reitman: an ugly, slummy, unsafe, off-color eyesore smack dab in the middle of everything.

These houses were ugly before the tornado. Now they are...

Spear Still Sticking Out Of Slumlord Keith Reitman's House Months After North Minneapolis Tornado...

Photo by Megan Goodmundson, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

In a previous blog post, North Minneapolis "super citizen" Megan Goodmundson documented the "debri spear" sticking out of a house long after the North Minneapolis tornado. Megan didn't name the slumlord owner in question but...



...given the distinctive "Keith Reitman blue" color of the house, it wasn't hard for readers to guess.

Megan checked on the house recently and sent me the photo, above.

Yup. The spear is still sticking in the house.

Well, I say, the race is on. Which will happen first? Will Keith Reitman pull the spear out of his house? Or will Friedman's Shoe Store fix its ugly, disgusting "butt glass?"

I hate to say it, but my money is on Slumlord Keith Reitman.

(Blogging from the scenic Mississippi Gulf Coast on R&R leave)

Motion for Default Judgment Against Slumlord Keith Reitman In 1564 Hillside Civil Suit...

Contributed photo, (thanks for all the Jameson) and blog post by John Hoff

Today I was reviewing the civil file in the Melony Michaels and John Foster civil case, which is a lawsuit against North Minneapolis slumlord Keith Reitman and a number of other individuals and entities for alleged and/or documented involvement in the notorious mortgage fraud at 1564 Hillside Ave. N., as well as another address not nearly as famous but equally fraudulent. Reitman is not alleged to be involved in the other address but was the seller of 1564 Hillside Ave. N.

Good ol' Keith Reitman likes to characterize himself as "one of the victims" in that fraud, even though Reitman was the seller of the property and nobody I've interviewed is aware of Reitman giving back so much as a nickel from the lucrative deal.

In a flurry of recent paper filed in the civil case...

...attempts are being made to get a default judgment out of Keith Reitman and several other entities whose names didn't really catch my attention so much, oh well.

A hearing on the motion for default judgment is scheduled for April 8, 8:30 AM, before the Honorable Judge Mel Dickstein.

Michaels and Foster are represented by Matthew David Resch of Wagner, Falconer and Judd.

This blogger is watching the work of this lawyer closely, ready to heap praise or scathing criticism upon him depending on how it goes. Recently, it appears to be going very well.

Slumlord Keith Reitman Booted From JACC Board...(Ousted, Kicked Out, Tossed On His Keister, Even)

Contributed photos, blog post by John Hoff

Word reaches me that on March 10, 2011, North Minneapolis Slumlord Keith Reitman was notified of his removal from the board of directors of the Jordan Area Community Council (JACC) in an email worded as follows...

Keith:

The March meeting of the Jordan Area Community Council was held last night, March 9th. Upon the conclusion of that meeting, you had missed 5 board meetings within a 12 month period. Within the current bylaws, anyone missing 5 meetings throughout the year, excused or otherwise, automatically becomes vacant.

I thank you for your service to JACC.

Lynn Riskedal
JACC Board Chair"
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JNS blog says: I suspect there are many in Jordan who DO NOT thank Keith Reitman for his "service" and would say something like, "Good riddance," but that's why Lynn is a board chair and I'm a blogger.