So right after I left Ghazni Province in Afghanistan and arrived at Bagram Air Force Base...a paradise of internet access and mocha lattes, the only downside being five incoming fire alerts five nights in a row and sleeping in a big tent with, like, 100 other men...I learned about Friedman's Shoe Store caving in to my bloggy pressure campaign (they say they didn't, WHATEVER) and actually fixing up their unsightly glass. So the next logical question was...
...where to focus my harsh, burning light of blogospheric attention and criticism NEXT? Who is the most deserving? Where are results needed most? Where could such attention actually get results?
Well, I'm pleased to announce that after much thought, and input both public and behind the scenes, plus a vision in which Reitman appeared to me and said, "Johnny, Johnny, why are you persecuting me?" I've decided...
(Drum roll, please)
(Oh, wait, you already know from the headline)
Our winner is "Level Three Slum Offender" Keith Reitman, whose "blue sisters" at 26th and Penn were falling to ruin BEFORE the tornado, are falling to ruin more AFTER the tornado, have official paper slapped all over them, sit right in the heart of an area desperately needing development, had historic potential once but it's rotted away like unharvested fruit, are the ultimate example of the bastard color known as "Reitman Blue," are only the foremost of MANY examples of scumoidal slumlordery by the aforementioned Reitman, plus I have a really good photo to use as an illustration, so that pretty much bags it.
Congratulations, Keith Reitman. Oh, what fun First Amendment attention you can expect until this eyesore is resolved. Maybe a blues song about the "blue sisters?" Maybe one North Minneapolis "revitalizer" after another posing in front of the properties (on the oh-so-public sidewalk) and holding their noses?
Maybe...here, fill in the blank. Let your imagination work overtime, Keith.
But all in good time. For now, click here to enjoy this video of "paint drumming" by the Blue Man Group.
Is this how the color "Reitman blue" is produced?