MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: Friedman's Shoe Store Caves In To Bloggy Pressure Campaign, Installs New Windows...What Northside Eyesore Should Be Targeted NEXT?

Photo from North By Northside, blog post by John Hoff


After enduring a long dry spell of little computer access at a Combat Outpost in Ghazni Province, Afghanistan, I now find myself at Bagram Air Force Base where things are a lot less muddy...where my life is rich with indoor plumbing, multiple entree choices and, best of all, a wireless internet signal.

Coming up for internet air today, I was overjoyed to discover...

...the North By Northside Blog is reporting that Friedman's Shoe Store is finally fixing their unsightly windows. Oh, sure, "good cop" Jeff Skrenes made some half-hearted remarks about how certain individuals (my ears are burning!) made too much of a big deal about the ass ugly windows. I'm paraphrasing here.

But between you, me, and the lamp posts bare of sign spam ripped down by both myself AND Mr. North By Northside, we all know it was public pressure and repeated shaming by this blog which finally got the windows fixed...just like, a couple years ago, the horrible "butt wall" situation was fixed at a certain Northside liquor store.

Now I firmly resolve to buy as many of my new shoes and (more importantly) my new BOOTS at Friedman's, for the rest of my life, and I urge other Northsiders to do the same. (Not that I buy THAT many new footwear items. I prefer to get my footwear from either the Salvation army or the REGULAR army) All the same.

Support Friedman's. I urge you.

Now then, the most important question at this point is...

WHO IS NEXT? What unsightly North Minneapolis neighborhood feature should this blog criticize again and again, repeatedly and colorfully, until it finally gets FIXED?

The rusty railroad bridge which forms the archway to our NoMi neighborhood?

The "ugly ass chocolate brown building" owned by slumlord Keith Reitman?

The "cyanotic sisters?" (Two blue wooden houses, side by side, owned and neglected by slumlord Keith Reitman)

Or something I haven't thought of or mentioned here?

I'm interested in discussion and ideas from readers about what the next target should be. If nobody contributes an idea, that's OK. I'll pick a target myself. But here's your chance to influence the decision.

Mural At Fourth Street Saloon Nearing Completion...

Contributed photo, blog post by John Hoff

Word reaches me in Afghanistan that the mural at the Fourth Street Saloon, which has been a "work in progress" for more than a year, is approaching completion.

The mural celebrates music and is executed in a classy style, not the "urban dystopia" style which once festooned the side of the Kemps Dairy Facility ("Tripping Cows") but is now, thankfully, long gone.

(Not all my readers share my negative opinion of the "tripping cows," and I wish to acknowledge that)

Though the Fourth Street Saloon continues to have its issues--like the lingering smell of marijuana on the smoking patio and the memory of murders in the parking lot, something that's pretty hard to shake--this business does appear to be TRYING, and for that they deserve credit. Friedman's Shoe store could learn from the example of Fourth Street Saloon, a statement that, by itself, reveals how sad the situation is with the ugly "butt glass" at Friedman's.

As for the bar, however...

If only somebody would buy this place out and make it a classy joint instead of an extremely roomy dive.

But, yeah, love the mural. All the way from the other side of the world, LOVE the mural.

(Do Not Click "Read More")

(If you are in the parking lot of Fourth Street Saloon, late at night, and you hear a "click," better hit the pavement)

Spear Still Sticking Out Of Slumlord Keith Reitman's House Months After North Minneapolis Tornado...

Photo by Megan Goodmundson, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

In a previous blog post, North Minneapolis "super citizen" Megan Goodmundson documented the "debri spear" sticking out of a house long after the North Minneapolis tornado. Megan didn't name the slumlord owner in question but...



...given the distinctive "Keith Reitman blue" color of the house, it wasn't hard for readers to guess.

Megan checked on the house recently and sent me the photo, above.

Yup. The spear is still sticking in the house.

Well, I say, the race is on. Which will happen first? Will Keith Reitman pull the spear out of his house? Or will Friedman's Shoe Store fix its ugly, disgusting "butt glass?"

I hate to say it, but my money is on Slumlord Keith Reitman.

(Blogging from the scenic Mississippi Gulf Coast on R&R leave)

Even Stores In Afghanistan Look Better Than Friedman's Shoe Store On West Broadway...

Photo by John Hoff


A lot has changed in North Minneapolis since I left for military deployment around the first week of May, 2011. The first night I slept in a motel room en route to Camp Shelby, Mississippi, I turned on my laptop and learned Osama Bin Laden had been killed by Navy seals. This reminds me that I owe Megan Goodmundson a blog post comparing the coolness of the navy to the coolness of the army. It's very hard to swallow my army pride and admit certain things, so let's just say it's taken me a while to write that particular blog post...like, about a year so far.

Later, while I was still very much gone, the North Minneapolis tornado ripped through...sparing my house, but ripping most of the roof off Megan's bungalow and destroying the lovely little crab apple tree in her back yard. I called up all the mutual friends I knew from my barracks at Camp Shelby: if your house is safe and secure, run to help Megan. Her roof is gone. I told one of our mutual friends--a navy vet--"Get to Megan's house and the first thing you do, you find that American flag wherever it is and raise it over what's left of the house."

He did just that. I will have to get around to publishing that inspiring photo in the near future.

Now living inside a fortress of sun-baked mud and straw in Afghanistan, but finally enjoying internet access, I am trying to catch up on what has changed in NoMi. I heard from the Hawthorne Hawkman blog about a new restaurant--which might have good soul food, but needs to refrain from sign spam. I heard about new gardening space in the Hawthorne Eco Village.

I'm afraid that when I come back from Afghanistan (inshallah) so much will have changed, it will be hard to get up to speed. Of course, some things HAVE NOT changed. Paul Koenig is still a lying lie-bag in legal hot water over his failed slumlord empire.

And (so I learned from a recent post by the Hawthorne Hawkman) the Friedman's Shoe Store on West Broadway still hasn't...



...fixed the ugly-as-all-get-out "butt glass" on the exterior of their store.

Pictured above is an image from Afghanistan which I am using as an artsy-fartsy stock photo to creatively illustrate my point. This is a pair of shoes...sort of. It's actually a kind of a plastic mold of a shoe, complete with fake laces. These cost about 800 Afghani in the local bazaars, which (at a rate of 46 Afghani to one American dollar) is about four bucks, right? It should be pointed out that Pakistani currency circulates here as freely as Afghan currency, and is often the preferred currency, so one is more likely to purchase these faux shoes with Pakistani rupees rather than Afghanis.

The average national income in Afghanistan is about $300 a year, though President Hamid Karzai (a truly great man saddled with a job that would tax the personality of George Washington or Abraham Lincoln) wants to bring the median national income up to $700 a year. (Al Flowers, please note correct use of the word "median" instead of "medium" when somebody reads this blog post to you)

These so-called "shoes" are made in China and sold all over Afghanistan. After only a couple weeks of wear, walking on the hard ground full of rocks and stones, holes wear in the bottom. Afghan workers who I supervise constantly ask me for shoes and I'm all, like, "I'm telling me friends in America to gather up as many shoes and boots as they can and send them to me, freight rate APO, to Afghanistan." Though, given the language difficulties, this comes out something like, "I...write...America. Tell friends. Send many shoes." I explain, apologetically, how this will take a while, which can be expressed by saying the Pashto word for "tomorrow" and the word for "day after tomorrow" over and over:

Sabaa. Balsabaa. Balsabaa. Balsabaa.

And when I find myself saying this, how fixing the shoe issue will happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after the day after tomorrow...my mind flashes to Friedman's Shoe Store. And how the much-talked about, some-time-in-the-sweet-bye-and-bye fixes to the exterior never seem to materialize. I dare say I will manage to put shoes and boots on the feet of fifty Afghans before Friedman's does anything about their ugly exterior. My relatives will be hanging my ornaments on the Christmas tree--ornaments which I plan to make by cutting apart decorative Christmas cookie tins left over from last year's To-Any-Soldier care packages, and nailing these metal pieces to painted pieces of wood--before Friedman's fixes their exterior. Of THAT I am confident.

Let me just say in closing that, since coming to this country, I've seen local merchants who do booming business out of a rusty, abandoned Conex container converted into a store. One young man who works in one of those "cargo container stores" told me he makes $300 a month, and he said this with a great deal of pride. I've seen about half a dozen little stores like that and, without exception, every one of these Third World stores in the middle of a war zone had nicer glass on the exterior than Friedman's Shoe Store on West Broadway in North Minneapolis.

What is Friedman's excuse?

To my way of thinking, they just don't have one.

Word Of Much Awaited Progress On Friedman's Shoes Exterior...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff


At the recent "Dessert With Don" event, where Fifth Ward Council Member Don Samuels and Mayor Rybak answered questions about numerous North Minneapolis topics, the evening started out with a verbal "commercial" for Friedman's Shoes...

Former City Council Member Jackie Cherryhomes, who is now running the West Broadway Business and Area Coalition talked about how her daughter needed pink Converse high tops for a school play. Cherryhomes shopped far and wide but couldn't find the shoes her daughter needed.

As a last resort Cherryhomes went to Friedman's, a location she said was "literally within walking distance" of her own home. As she walked in the door there, right in front of her--

PINK CONVERSE HIGH TOPS!

Which just goes to show you: shop in your own neighborhood first. Everything we need is here, even exotic stuff.

Many other positive things were said about Friedman's throughout the meeting, but the most positive thing of all was said by the store's owner, pictured above. Apparently, very solid plans for exterior improvements are in the works. In fact, word is we're not just looking at the exterior being cleaned up, but actually becoming beautiful, expressive, and even artistic.

This blog, which has banged the drum very loudly for aesthetic improvements on the exterior of the store, now makes a public vow to "lay off" until April 15 and await solid word of progress.

On a side note...

What particular dramatic production requires the pink Converse high tops? I'm just wondering.

JNS BLOG EDITORIAL: Friedman's Shoe Store Persists In Its Shabby Ways/ JNS Blog Extends "Butt Glass Days"

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

More than a month ago, this blog made a public vow to keep raising the issue of the dirty, discolored Plexiglass at the Friedman's Shoe Store on West Broadway. Just to be fair, I'd like to point out not the ENTIRE store is nasty, discolored, and festooned with old stickers. My critique is limited to the ground floor windows. In fact, SOME of the store has a real classy look, like the portion pictured above.

But the simple fact is many folks in North Minneapolis--not just me--have pointed out that Friedman's is inexplicably resisting the general trend of in North Minneapolis of spiffing up and revitalization. That's the kind of thing you'd expect from slumoidal slumlord Keith Reitman, but you expect better from this "umpteen generations" shoe peddling business. That's why I promised to keep bringing up their ugly "butt glass" (my phrase, my coinage) until "the Ides of March." That's today. And I said if nothing happened by the Ides of March, well, we'd see.

Here it is the Ides of March. Nothing has happened.

Johnny Northside Dot Com is now in VIRTUAL FROWNY FACE MODE.

I swear, Friedman's, when the people of the neighborhood are making a critique...and you're a business and won't listen to the critique or act upon it...what do you think is going to happen? That the critique is going to go away?

The harsh public critique is NOT going away. In fact, facts and harsh public critiques are all North Minneapolis "revitalizers" have to fight with sometimes, all we have to make our environment better. You, Friedman's, are shabbing up our environment and (I might point out) you had the nerve to spit bile at me when you talked to that "crackhead looking lady" from the Mpls Mirror. Did you seriously think a harsh public critique was going to stop my harsh public critique? You have only managed to make your store more well known, NOT for shoes but for having AN ASS UGLY EXTERIOR.

"Butt Glass Days" is hereby extended until Tax Day, April 15. That means I might (out of the blue, on a whim) write something any given day--I surely will before April 15, maybe once, maybe several times--and I might make mention of "butt glass" at odd times in comments, in blog posts, etc.

What are you going to do? SUE ME? You can see how well THAT works.

(Do Not Click Read More)

Friedman's Shoe Store Resists West Broadway Revitalization Trend/ Their Ugly Discolored "Butt Glass" Never Comes To An End!

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Several days ago I was driving past Friedman's and I did a slow burn as I realized, oh my word, here we are at the beginning of winter--only the BEGINNING, mind you, though it feels like it's been winter for MONTHS--and who does any replacement or repair of store windows during a Minnesota winter?

ALMOST NOBODY, that's who. Which means we are certainly going to endure Friedman's ugly, discolored "butt glass" until well beyond the Ides of March. After that will come the excuses about how, oh, it takes time to get anything done...trying to line up funding...why is Johnny Northside picking on Friedman's? The excuse-making will probably drag into June, July, August. Will anything happen EVER with this eyesore? I gotta wonder. Even the ten zillion dollar wall and fence project at Merwin Liquors came much easier than THIS.

I hear through the grapevine about how ANGRY they are at Friedman's for me mentioning it, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, even though I'm only articulating what all kinds of West Broadway interests have been saying for years: WHY DOESN'T FRIEDMAN'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR UGLY, DISCOLORED WINDOWS? SHEEEEESH!

Luckily, there's a way to take a negative and make it a positive. That's why I'm announcing...

...BUTT GLASS-O-RAMA here on Johnny Northside Dot Com. That's right, until March 15 (the Ides of March) I will make sure that on a daily basis there is mention of "Friedman's butt glass" on this blog, even if it's just a comment. I will find ways to work in the phrase "Friedman's butt glass" into other postings, or link to posts about "Friedman's butt glass." If, heaven forbid, I should miss a day I will make sure to serve double portions the next day. Folks who comment regularly on the blog are encouraged, as well, to make mention of "Friedman's butt glass."

Oh, my word. It will be a butt-filled festival of glassy fun!

What, readers may wonder, will happen after the Ides of March?

I'm not sure. I guess I will have to find a way to up the ante.

Frankly, I'm kinda hoping it won't be necessary to stop.

Because who wants a fun filled festival to ever come to an end?

Here's a video my son likes which, I think, completely embodies a spirit of fun. Click here to enjoy.

(PARODY POST) Black Sheep Of The Friedman Shoes Family Sets Up "Fetish Shoes" At 324 West Broadway...

Contributed photo, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

(Parody content below)

It is with a truly prurient sense of EXXXCITEMENT that North Minneapolis welcomes the latest business addition to West Broadway: Fetish Shoes, which is tackily tacked onto the end of the "Fourth Street Saloon" building at 324 West Broadway, right across from Wendy's and Taco Bell, just one block over from the Friedman Shoe Store.

The owner of Fetish is reportedly the "kinky little sister" of the Friedman family, who went away to prison for a while due to Penn Ave. N. prostitution charges but she is now out on parole and trying to, er, "follow in the footsteps" of the Friedman family name by opening a speciality shoe store.

The question, of course, is when EXXXACTLY is the store open? The photo above was taken around noon on a Saturday, and the store was closed. Is it a situation of the store being...

...open "by special appointment," kind of like the special appointments to be found (until recently) in the adult section of Craigslist ads?

Too bad, says Johnny Northside Dot Com, that B.J.'s strip club is closing soon, since the strippers could have supported a local business which appears to specialize in, among other things, skanky stilettos.

(Please note that was the parody voice saying "too bad...that B.J.'s strip club is closing soon.")

On another note...

(End of parody voice, here)

I have held off since May in my public criticism of Friedman's Shoes for having such an ugly, trashy exterior due to discolored Plexiglass windows festooned with well-aged stickers. For months, I have swallowed the bile of my public criticisms because of some back channel communications saying Friedman's was involved in making some kind of grant proposal which seemed to include fixing up the windows. Recently, the appearance of "Fetish Shoes" brought the old Friedman's issue to my mind again, and made me wonder, gee, what is going on with THAT? How long have I held off on THAT? Gmail search function says...oh, my word, since FREAKING MAY.

Time to fire off an inquiry. Time to get no reply.

Smolder.

With no answers to my back channel communication hitting my inbox, I fully intend to blast Friedman's with public criticisms quite often, making up for lost time. THE BUTT GLASS LOOKS HORRIBLE. WHY DOESN'T FRIEDMAN'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE BUTT GLASS?

You can expect this kind of thing from Slumlord Keith Reitman, but Friedman's is the kind of place which is supposed to have a good name on West Broadway.

What the hell, Friedman's, what the hell?

JNS Blog Will "Lay Off Friedman's Shoe Store" While Grant Proposal Moves Forward...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

I received word today--word which appears legit and bona fide--that Friedman's Shoe Store is trying to do something about the "ugly ass butt glass" which this blog has made famous. And, I might add, I only started "beating on the butt glass" after many entities in the neighborhood repeatedly approached Friedman's about this aesthetic issue at the gateway of West Broadway, and finally people in positions of trust and responsibility gave this blog the "quiet nod" to go ahead and make a public stink because there just wasn't any progress.

But here's the new word I just received about planned improvements to the glass, as follows...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I participated on a panel yesterday evening to rank all grant proposals for this round of facade improvements. Friedman's proposal specifically mentioned windows, among quite a few other things. A few of the applicants had also received grants in the past, not only Friedman's. The proposal must specifically outline what you will do with the funds. Many proposals included quotes from various companies however that is not required this early in the process. From the ranking assigned to each proposal yesterday I would say, if Friedman's pulls through on their end, they're surely get the grant. Those awarding the grant specifically mentioned they do not want more Plexiglas installed."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Based on this new word, I intend to "lay off Friedman's" for a while and hope for progress in the not-too-distant future which I can report in a positive manner. Meanwhile, I intend to double the amount of criticism I level at slumlord Keith Reitman's "ugly ass chocolate brown building," which he has been repeatedly asked to spiff up, but Reiman apparently prefers to continue marinating in the sauce of slum while so many others on West Broadway try to make the place better.

God Bless The MPD "Broadway Beat"

Contributed photo, xoxo, post by John Hoff

A loyal reader captured this picture of an MPD patrol car with some rather interesting markings. The reader tells me the first time she saw this patrol car was about a year ago, but I must confess I've NEVER seen this patrol car before, so I think it's really cool. (Several times a patrol car like this passed by me with something interesting written on the side, but it was moving so fast I never had time to get a picture!)

In order to revitalize North Minneapolis, it is necessary to take back Broadway from thuggish behavior and make it a safe, clean, attractive commercial corridor like it once was. It's great to see MPD is so focused on the "Broadway Beat." Now, if only it were criminal behavior to have crappy looking commercial buildings, like Keith Reitman's "ugly ass chocolate brown building" or Friedman's shoes and their stubborn refusal to fix up their unattractive "butt glass."

(Do not click "Read More")

Karamu Sign Controversy? Cultural Artifact Or Hand-Lettered Embarrassment?

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

First of all, I personally have no opinion either way about the Karamu sign on U of M's UROC Center. Apparently, it is some kind of remnant of a business which was there before, and failed. The fact the sign still remains after the renovation appears to show somebody thinks the sign is an "artifact" worth saving...

Not knowing much of the history of Karamu except a little bit about contaminated soil cleanup that took place there, click here for more info--and far too busy dealing with Level Three sex offender saturation and the reappointment of Chief Dolan to go chasing this relatively small story--I don't have a position either way. Ask me about the "cultural artifact" on the front of the Friedman's Shoe Store--their nasty discolored Plexiglass--and, sure, I'll have an opinion about THAT, click here.

But a couple folks have written to me asking that I mention something about the Karamu sign, and publish a picture to show exactly what we're talking about. This blog does try to be responsive to readers--in an unpaid, understaffed, overworked sort of way--so here's the picture.

Here you go.

Talk amongst yerselves.

West Broadway Continues To Be Blighted By "Friedman's Butt Glass"

Contributed photo, xoxo, blog post by John Hoff

Why is it called "butt glass?" Because it's BUTT UGLY. Also, Freidman's managed to access grant money for facade improvement and did actually improve their facade. They improved it BUT!!!! for the glass. Are they just sentimental about yellowed, cloudy Plexiglass festooned with stickers?

Oh, the horror. And I've seen some horrible things in my life. I've seen...

...a pile of dead, snake-like lamprey, all frozen into a large chunk. I've worked on a military psychiatric ward and stared into the eyes of madmen. I'm the author of two books on the subject of dumpster diving, so you can bet I've gazed upon some horrible, rotten stuff. And just today I saw a house where at least three Level Three sex offenders live--right next to a house with two children's bikes in the yard--and that was a terrible sight to behold.

But all these ghastly spectacles shrink and pale in comparison to the sight of the increasingly-infamous Friedman butt glass. So awful is this spectacle that I will be forced to cry out against it at regular intervals, until it finally changes. The horror, the horror...

Freidman's Shoe Store "Butt Glass" Is Butt Ugly On West Broadway...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

First, a caveat: the Friedman's shoe store on West Broadway is a treasure in our neighborhood, a family business which has passed through, what? Three generations of Friedmans? I think it's three. And they have an amazing variety of shoes there, to the point I want to take numerous pictures because I've never seen shoes like that, except in movies and on television. People WEAR this stuff? What kind of OUTFIT do they wear? And how many tropical birds will have to lose their feathers to support such human vanity?

If a pimped out Cadillac could be a shoe, it would fit right in with some of the more spectacular footwear for sale at Friedman's. Really, some time if you're having a good stiff drink at the Zombie Den, rubbing elbows with Alexis of the Sexes, maybe, and you make your way up West Broadway to check out the music at Fourth Street Saloon on Wednesday nights (but not every Wednesday) you might want to swing by just to behold, just to lay your eyes upon the totally unique shoe selection.

But, unfortunately, none of that is why I'm writing this post. Let's talk Plexiglass, shall we? Let's talk about BUTT UGLY, WORN AND CLOUDY AND YELLOWED...

...NASTY ASS PLEXIGLASS. These windows are, as the Apostle Paul said, a glass through which we see, darkly, and the Friedman's "butt glass" is a fine match with slumlord Keith Reitman's "ugly ass chocolate brown building" on the other end of West Broadway, or the old "butt fence" or "butt wall" which used to be a problem at Merwin Liquors, but is no longer a problem.

And thank God for that. God and Merwin Liquors. Merwin Liquors is far from perfect, but they sure did fix loitering-on-the-wall issue in a big way, and for that reason I patronize them about equal with Broadway Liquor Outlet. (BLO)

In contrast, odds are slumlord Keith Reitman will never get a clue and make the exterior of his "ugly ass chocolate brown" building look nice because, well, he's Keith Reitman and he hardly takes care of his own PERSONAL appearance.

Not that I'm the most snappy dresser in the world, mind you, but I know enough to grow a beard or shave, to not stay in that scruffy, indefinite, itchy, hairy in-between face place. Keith Reitman paint his building nice? That's a laugh. The man barely shaves his own CHIN.

But back to Friedman's and their "butt glass." First of all, Friedman's recently fixed a bunch of stuff on their facade, using facade improvement funds. But they left the ugly yellowed glass exactly as it was, much of it covered in a profusion of stickers to the point if somebody was being mugged out in front of the store, well, would you be able to SEE THAT from the inside? I have my doubts.

And, you know, it's been mentioned to Friedman's. Pointedly. I know of movers and shakers who have mentioned it to them, but no improvement happens. Things go on as before. Revitalization sometimes creeps forward on West Broadway, sometimes it steamrolls forward, but there at the Friedman's store it is stuck...like a fly in ancient amber. So what happens when there's a revitalization item on the collective agenda, and it stays stuck for a long time and doesn't move forward? Well, pretty soon somebody starts talking to Johnny Northside and saying, in effect, "You know what? Sic 'em. Just let 'em have it. They're not going to change until it's in the public eye and being discussed all over the internet."

So guess what? In between trying to dig up the addresses of all the Level Three sex offenders in North Minneapolis, and reveling in the sinking of the property pirate vessel Paul Koenig, I'm going to make it my business to talk about the ugly Friedman's "butt glass" and how it needs to change.

And, needless to say, I won't be buying shoes at Friedman's or encouraging anybody else to buy shoes there. But should you browse that place? Oh, yes, you should. Some of those shoes, they are an amazing artifact of our civilization.

Friedman's Shoe Store To Be Featured In Sports Illustrated Magazine...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Word comes via an email from the office of Council Member Diane Hofstede that Hawthorne's own Friedman's Shoe Store--an institution in our neighborhood for decades and generations, located at 400 West Broadway--will be featured in Sports Illustrated two months from now.

Hofstede writes: Thank you to Sue, David and their family for providing a great place to shop, and a life long commitment to North Minneapolis!

(Do not click "Read More")