Tuesday, July 6, 2010

"Garden Gnome" Candidate Picking Up Steam In His Latest Political Race?


Contributed photo, blog post by John Hoff

Jordan Neighborhood resident Roger Smithrud didn't even come close to beating Council Member Don Samuels for the 5th Ward City Council seat during the last election. However, Smithrud--whose resemblance to a garden gnome is truly eerie--managed to completely dominate, destroy and crush Lennie Chism in that same race, claiming the fourth place slot and forcing Lennie into the political equivalent of getting picked last for dodge ball. Ouch.

Now, drunk on power after his quasi-victory, it appears the garden gnome is making yet another grab for public office. Nobody else really NOTICED, but Smithrud has declared himself a candidate for County Commissioner against Mark Stenglein. Smithrud even has a website of sorts...

...which emphasizes his many years of experience working at a gas station and sorting mail, click here. Truly underwhelming. "A little information about Roger Smithrud?" Only a LITTLE? Like, don't tell us why you're QUALIFIED to be a County Commissioner, just give us a LITTLE info to whet our appetites? Is that supposed to be some kind of LITTLE garden gnome in-joke?

Johnny Northside blog strongly suspects the only reason Roger Smithrud runs for public office is so Smithrud can show up at the victory party of his opponent and be magnanimous, which always results in many free drinks. Though I don't have any particular objection to garden gnomes having a social life however they can acquire one, (shudder) HONESTLY, there's Match Doctor Dot Com and other options BESIDES cluttering up the political arena with the pointless platforms of "perennial also-rans."

Roger Smithrud, nobody is interested in your plethora of garden gnome political issues like "stop letting out-of-control-Rottweilers pee on the lawn art" and "there are NATURAL ways to eliminate slug infestation."

13 comments:

Reuben said...

John, so your big beef with the guy is that his website isn't very informative? And you don't think he's a viable candidate so you'd rather have him not run at all? That's it?

Maybe I just don't get it because I'm not a northsider -but from here in south MPLS, this post just makes you look like kind of a jerk.

Johnny Northside! said...

He's not a viable candidate, so I'd rather not have him run at all. I don't think he brings anything to the race.

Anonymous said...

The guy doesn't really look like a gnome. If you want to make fun of some random harmless person, at least make sure it is funny.

I have no idea how this guy could hurt you or why you feel the need to attack him on the internet. It makes you look worse than him.

Folwell Fox said...

Does this stoned fuck even think he's going to win? You better get a bigger pair of "gnome" balls if you think you can handle the 5th. Go back to Seward.

Johnny Northside! said...

He's not "random and harmless." He ran in the Fifth Ward, a place near and dear to my heart. Now he brings his particular gnomish brand of under-qualification into the county commissioner race. Must North Minneapolis be forever haunted by Roger Smithrud's perennial also-ran status which just clutters up the real race.

Folwell Fox said...

I must have missed the part, running for Co. Commish., that's fine. How much damage could he do, right? What irritates me is not that someone may be perceived as unqualified for public office, but someone who makes a joke of the neighborhoods by lessening the serious of the issues that, especially, the 5th faces. Is Don Samuels literally the only Council person or public leader to get what's going on here? I truly, truly wish that dogs peeing on garden art was the only thing that we had to worry about in North. Maybe "Mr. Gnome" would be a great candidate for if and when that time comes. In fact, if that time does come I will build a float for him to parade down Broadway with. Until then though we don't need this type of childish political weirdness in North. There's far too much at stake.

Anonymous said...

Who decides who is in the "real race" and who isn't ?

I'm glad you got elected to the Grand Forks City Council. I bet when you won no one thought you were in the "real race".

Apart from his appearance, which of his policies do you find objectionable?

How could his election possibly make North MPLS a worse place to live than it already is?

Just A Voter said...

I agree with some of the other commenters. You are a jerk for publically picking on this guy trying to gain the opportunity to perform a civic duty. Based on what I see in our current politicians, we can't do any worse. Besides it's always healthy to have an average joe type candidate to keep the ones who usually win on their toes. I think that they get in a mindset that they deserve or are somehow ordained and don't take those who run against them seriously and they should. It's candidates like this guy that make the debate more interesting even if they are not likley to win. It's too bad someone didn't look at you the same when you were elected to the neighborhood association. I hardly think you are qualified for that but here you are.

Johnny Northside! said...

Right. Let's just give him a free ride, free of criticisms, just because his campaign is so hopeless and pathetic. Let's save our real criticisms for the GOOD and SMART and QUALIFIED and VIABLE candidates.

Answer the questions John said...

John,

Your only criticism is that he looks like a gnome.

How will his policies hurt NoMi? In case you haven't been outside in awhile, the policy makers in NoMi have made quite a mess of the place. The thugs own this part of town.

Don Samuals hasn't fixed any problems. This guy can't possibly do worse than him.

DUH said...

You run for public office, you open yourself up to public critique, plain and simple.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad he has a little information on his webpage, which is far more than that offered by Blair Tremere on his webpage.

But that's not saying I'm going to vote for the guy. In fact, he provides information that makes me want to reject him. And I worry that he may just be bowled over by others on the board. (Now there's an image: a set of yard gnomes used as bowling pins!)

Still, I can't reject him out of hand until I hear from Tremere. If my request for information goes unanswered, or if the information he provides puts him at a disadvantage even to Smithrud, well then I won't have anyone to vote for for commissioner. Or maybe Smithrud will be my protest vote.

I won't be voting for Mark Stenglein because he's proud of spending, spending, spending ... and he's a Democrat.

Johnny Northside said...

Spam blogger posted about the need for a "garden accessories" post. Whatever. Post not approved.