This Is An Open Comment Thread... (Summer Visitation 2009)

Photo By John Hoff

From time to time, individuals who frequent this blog have suggested the idea of an "open comment thread." Sometimes there is an urgent need to communicate certain neighborhood issues to the world at large, over the internet, but the particular JNS blog posts up near the top (where discussion tends to take place, not so much on older posts) may not have a relevant topic for the urgent discussion.

Despite that obstacle, sometimes very important "off topic" discussions have indeed taken place when readers just ignore the topic of the particular blog post and communicate something urgently, even using the blog as an organizing tool.

Two examples: Hawthorne's leadership learned 3007 3rd St. N. had fallen into the hands of a particularly evil slumlord and, another time, we made contact with a guy who was interested in buying a particular boarded house and transforming it. We're still working on helping him acquire that house.

My regular readers are well aware I'll try new things. So I'm posting this photo of my son attending "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" but readers can talk about whatever pressing topics they like.

As for myself...

...I'll talk about this movie I saw with my son.

First of all, it's pretty good for a sequel, just based upon one overwhelmingly important criteria: you don't need to see the first movie to understand the second one. Like, yeah yeah, the evil Decipticons are at war with the good-hearted Autobots, and humanity is caught in the middle. Again.

One of the best things about this movie is Megan Fox. Clearly, there must be large swaths of the script which only say things like, "Cut to Megan Fox's expressive face, pouty lips, sparkling eyes." And yet I find my heartstrings being ruthlessly played, because Fox's character does one thing so well: she loves her boyfriend, and they both have a distinctly American love affair with cars. I can sit there watching with my 12-year-old son and think, "If Alex had a girlfriend like that during his first year of college, I could believe his whole life would continue to go well."

Fox's semi-wholesome character doesn't have skimpy, revealing costumes. And she doesn't act all vampy-trampy except, well, maybe just once in the first scene in which she appears...but then you see the more complicated layers of her character being swiftly peeled away and revealed: this incredibly hot girl cares about her troubled father. She's trying to keep the family business running. She cares about FAMILY. That's what makes her a good girlfriend, not merely the fact she's smoking hot.

The most heartbreaking scene of the movie is when she's waiting for a live video chat...and her boyfriend never shows up. Some evil Decepticon taking on human form has...well, I don't want to spoil the movie, but let's just say there are times when the internal alien probe doesn't look all bad.

One of the WORST things about "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is surely the goofy twin autobots who deliver one liners like, "That's because you a pussy." These characters are (pardon my geek speak) the autobot equivalent of Jar Jar Binks and Wesley Crusher. How do the makers of movies and television shows manage--time and time again--to deliver characters which are supposed to amuse and inspire, and yet merely annoy?

But my kid liked it. And he wants to see it again and again and again...

Dealing WIth Computer Stuff In A Neighborhood Organization, A VERY SPECIAL ILLUSTRATED BLOG POST!!!

Photos By John Hoff


A grassroots neighborhood organization like the Hawthorne Neighborhood Council doesn't use the most modern computer equipment and, furthermore, they don't have the money for a round-the-clock Information Technology geek to solve technical issues as they arise. So often...

Those who work in the office--and those who come by with frequency--are left to "geek around" on our own. We find technical solutions that may not be brilliant, may not be optimal, but somehow get the document printed or (in this case) the photo up on the website.

FOR REASONS I CAN'T FIGURE OUT, the computers at the office can download and save images off my blog, but when I try to send those same images as attachments...I just get a blank spot in the photo file, where the image should be when I save it. I've tried using Jeff's computer, thinking I could "geek around the problem" that way. Turns out, oh, yes, I can download the pictures all right...I just can't load 'em up on the website!!!

So I have a solution, and it's ugly, like wiring a muffler to a car with a clothes hanger is ugly, but it gets the job done: load the pictures to my blog. Then download them to the office computer which appears to work best with our website.

I hope that works.

So enjoy, enjoy, enjoy these generalized images which may, in another context, make good illustrations for topics. The struggle for a better neighborhood--an urban utopia, if you will--comes from moments like this, when you're frustrated and you want to throw up your hands, but you're NOT going to give up, because somebody else is depending on you.

I'll probably delete this post at some point, once I get the images where they need to go and, well, I may even switch images on this post if I have to keep using this crude (yet high tech!) solution to my computer issue.

Stupid North Minneapolis Property Repairs Takes A Classic Turn!

Photo by John Hoff 

It's funny how you can drive by a house hundreds of times, but then one day you look at it closely and notice...oh, the thrill of it! A STUPID NORTH MINNEAPOLIS PROPERTY REPAIR! 

This house is....

...on Lyndale Ave. N., and any Realtor (trademarked word!) worth his/her commission will tell you the houses along Lyndale are finer inside with nice wooden buffets, leaded glass, that kind of thing. This particular house shows something old and fine on the exterior which hints treasures which may reside in the interior: a porch column made to look like--good grief--a Greek or Roman column.

(Some people know the difference. I merely know there IS a difference)

But check out the replacement column in the middle. Clearly, Rome has fallen and barbarian hordes have overrun a once-proud empire.

Makeshift Movie Sound Studios In North Minneapolis

Photos By John Hoff

Jake and Gabe of 612 Authentic continue to press forward with their documentary, "The Adventures of Johnny Northside: A Subprime Mess." Recently, they had me...

...read some excerpts from this blog, which will become audio portions of the documentary. Some of my favorites included "Evil Pink Pony" and my conversation with "The Devil." These are the times when I discover how many different characters live inside me, and have their own individual voices.

Last time when we needed a "sound studio," we used Peter Teachout's attic. (Photo above) The insulation is thick and creates studio-quality sound. This worked out well when I was house sitting Peter's residence for a week while he and the family went to Disneyland.

(Yeah, I wasn't going to blog about the fact they were away until they got BACK. Duh)

This time, (second photo) we used a different location in North Minneapolis, hanging thick quilts on a bathroom sink and over a shower curtain, creating an instant sound studio. As long as I kept my mouth really close to the quilt, it seemed to work. Maybe after the movie is made, Jake and Gabe will have ANOTHER hit on their hands: the MAKING of "The Adventures of Johnny Northside: A Subprime Mess."

An Interesting Twist With An Old Book Of Matches

Photo By Jeanie Hoholik

Word reaches me that a relative of the person who once owned "Worwa's Restaurant" has made contact with "Jennifer the Flipper," hoping to lay hands on the old book of matches Jennifer found in a house she purchased, click here.

I think it's pretty cool how the blogosphere creates person-to-person connections in the real world and, therefore, basically mints the currency of "social capital." That's why I try to blog like a maniac, and I encourage others to blog about our cool, colorful struggle to make North Minneapolis something better.

I'm convinced the blogosphere can "virtually" pull us upward!

(Do not click "Read More")

JOHNNY NORTHSIDE EXCLUSIVE: Possible Ward 3 City Council Candidate

Flickr.com Photo

There is a possible candidate to run for the Ward 3 City Council seat. First of all...

...let me make it clear the possible candidate is NOT ME. I have been asked to make a kind of announcement on my blog, soliciting feedback for somebody who is in an exploratory phase and may consider running in Ward 3. Any feedback can be mailed to hoffx106@umn.edu and I will forward it or, if appropriate, publish it. You can also use the comment threads, not just to this post but to posts discussing relevant issues impacting city politics.

I know this candidate. He is a natural leader. He has the ability to read people, see your needs and speak to those needs. He doesn't just deal with the surface, but wants to tackle the real issues that matter to you and me. (So tell me what those issues are in Ward 3! I have some ideas, and I've passed those thoughts on to the possible candidate, but it's time to hear from all of you by comments or email)

This man focuses on what you're struggling with right now. He does not have his head up in the clouds but rather he's down in the street where the people are.

I know a man, he can talk to anyone about anything. But he doesn't just talk, he listens. This guy is not like the politicians, he's one of you. He hears what you are saying.

This guy has had to put groceries on a credit card before, and it wasn't to earn airline miles. He's been more among the "have nots" than the "haves."

This is a man who is not afraid to confront wrong doing no matter who is guilty. He's had to chase "solicitors of uncouth ilk" from his very doorstep and lived to pay the price. But he rises up, every day, refusing to give in.

This guy looks out for children, Minneapolis' most precious asset. He says, "If we don't invest in the children, we have no city in which to invest."

He says, "Our great city is starting to change for the better. Will the leadership of Minneapolis be able to handle the change?"

Is there room for a man like this among the leadership of Minneapolis? When you look for a city council member, what do you look for:

Honesty. Integrity. Determination. Straightforwardness. Proper representation. Hope. Inspiration.

So that's the deal.

Some may think, "Whoah! Didn't we just finish a big election cycle?"

But guess what? Election cycles never end. In a democracy, we are in a perpetual campaign to determine who will lead, what are the relevant issues, and how will those issues be handled.

Democracy never rests.

ReBuilding Together Announces New Program, Calls For Volunteers

Photo By John Hoff

Brett Thompson, Emergency Repair Coordinator for ReBuilding Together, was at the December Hawthorne Housing Committee Meeting, and announced a program to help low-income homeowners, as well as putting out a call for volunteers...

You will find Brett's email address at the bottom. At the meeting, I told Brett I'd simply publish her letter to put out the word. I will say, however, the new program to help citizens with much-needed repairs is really exciting. But not everybody who may need such a program is internet savvy, so please help spread the word if you know a neighbor in need who doesn't regularly "surf the web."

Here's Brett's letter:

Calling ALL Skilled Volunteers!

My name is Brett Thompson and I am the Emergency Repair Coordinator with Rebuilding Together Twin Cities (RTTC). RTTC is a non-profit housing organization that brings volunteers and communities together to improve the homes and lives of low-income homeowners. RTTC provides the tools, building materials, and volunteer labor to help low-income homeowners repair or modify their homes to make them accessible, safe and warm at no cost to the homeowner.

Since being founded in 1997, RTTC has rehabilitated 131 homes and 8 non-profit centers thanks in large part to the hard work and dedication of more than 3,500 volunteers.

RTTC is excited to announce Safe & Healthy Homes, a duel minor home modification and emergency repair program that will start in 2009 serving low-income homeowners who are faced with the prospect of losing their home or independence as the result of needing a home modification they are unable to address. The goal of minor home modification is to improve the quality of life and degree of independence for low-income elderly or disabled homeowners by increasing mobility and safety in their homes.

The emergency repair program will address home repairs that present and immediate risk to the safety or health of individuals in the home. To help meet the needs of low-income homeowners with emergency repairs, RTTC has partnered with Project for Pride in Living (PPL).

PPL started their Emergency Repair Program in 1972 and RTTC is excited to join them in this effort to help homeowners when the need is most urgent.

In light of the current economic instability our country faces, it is more critical than ever that low-income homeowners who may qualify for this program are made aware of the services that could help them through the difficult times ahead. In preparation for the launch of Safe & Healthy Homes in January 2009, I am contacting local individuals, organizations, groups and businesses to establish relationships that will help us spread the word about our new program.

Volunters are going to play a critical role in the success of Safe & Healthy Homes. Working with homeowners and RTTC staff, skilled volunteers will provide the dedication and motivation to ensure the needs of homeowners are attended to in a timely manner. There are numerous ways to get involved; including working with RTTC to network with skilled individuals, referring possible low-income homeowners, providing in-kind donations, and/or becoming Safe & Healthy Homes' volunteers.

Skilled volunteer support is also critical for the continued success of RTTC's fall and spring rebuilding days. RTTC prides itself in making quality, in-depth repairs on the homes of low-income homeowners. These repairs are indubitably made possible due to skilled volunteers who bring to RTTC their construction knowledge and those who join the Home Team Volunteer Core and become teachers as they empower and inform volunteers and homeowners in completing home modifications and repairs.

From construction supervisors who spend multiple weeks working with RTTC staff to plan and prepare projects, to house captains who lend their construction expertise to making repairs on rebuilding day, killed volunteers are key components to the success of RTTC's Rebuilding Day Program.

With skilled volunteers taking on these important leadership roles, RTTC is able to focus efforts and resources on addressing the needs of a larger number of low-income homeowners.

If you, your business organization, club or family would like to work with RTTC to improve the lives of your community, please contact me (Brett Thompson) at 651-776-4273. Or email at b.thompson@rebuildingtogether-twincities.org to gather more information or schedule a meeting.

Click here for the Twin Cities Rebuilding Together website.

Yes, John Hoff a.k.a. "Johnny Northside" Is On Facebook

Photo By John Hoff

I had to give in and join a social networking site. I blame Jeff Skrenes, with his detailed "Facebook" discussions which...

...fired my interest to have access to that level of useful information about people I know or might want to know. So once I decided to join, it came down to a decision between "My Space" and "Facebook." I picked Facebook because, first of all, it's the one Jeff uses (obsessively) and, second, it also seems to be the one younger people preer so I figure Facebook will be the one to stay and endure over MySpace.

The first thing I put on Facebook was a bunch of North Minneapolis pictures, to raise consciousness about our various issues...and triumphs.

Pictured above, Mayor R.T. Rybak whose Facebook page is very detailed, and Jeff Skrenes, who will one day disappear from normal reality and become part of somebody's "wall," just you watch.

The Little Neighborhood That Could

Flickr.com

Constance told me about a new neighborhood blog; "the little neighborhood that could." It looks like a promising new effort. Click here to check it out.

(Do not click "Read More")

The Re-Education Of Miss D. (Sometimes In North Minneapolis)

Self-Portrait, Tiffany Dow

So I used to be a teaching assistant at the University of Minnesota School of Journalism and Mass Comm, and in my very first class was a bright, amazing student named Tiffany C. Dow...

She later went on to get a Masters Degree of Journalism in Wales, and spent time in Egypt and Serbia. Tiffany was arrested by the Serbian police for photographing something, and managed to get out of the arrest...WITH HER PICTURES. Out of all the students in that particular class, Tiffany managed to get her final project published...in the Star Tribune, no less! It was about Hmong funeral rituals. Several weeks ago I was having drinks with Bryan Thao Worra, and--expert on all things Hmong--he actually remembered the article in question and thought it was pretty decent.

"That was YOUR student?" he said, his eyebrows raised.

"My student?" I said. "My story idea, baby. I pointed her that way. But she totally ran with it."

So, yeah, sometimes you get an amazing (certainly not PERFECT) student and it's like...holy cow.

How am I supposed to guide this one? How am I supposed to point this one where his/her journalistic talents will be put to the best possible use, yet not see him/her killed in a war zone because--being theoretically older and wiser--you can look in their eyes and see it: the addiction to excitement, adventure... the relentlessly curious nature we try so hard to instill in journalism students, but with some of them...you have to explain the old adage about how curiosity killed the cat.

Me and the instructor from the class have followed Tiffany's progress, and served as her references from time to time.

Currently, Tiffany is substitute teaching while sending out resumes, trying to land a job in journalism, though a good writing job would do fine, thanks. A lot of Tiffany's teaching gigs happen in North Minneapolis. So a couple days ago...I gave her a tour of my neighborhood. And a lot came from that tour and our discussion beforehand...including the birth of a new blog, click here.

The J-School Meets The Blog-O-Sphere.

Back at the J-School, we were engaged in a vital academic discussion about how to deal with the rise of the blog-o-sphere and its impact on traditional forms of journalism. Though, at one time, all of these "traditional forms" were emerging forms, themselves, and the idea of journalism, itself, was also something that emerged. My take on things...and I believe my colleague, Dan Bernard, held a similar view...was that we need to tackle the blog-o-sphere head-on. Let's not tip-toe through the virtual tulips, but rather let's move forward boldly before emerging forms of media leave our traditional classes in the dust, and our students ill-prepared.

For myself, I was always quietly advocating for having the students blog about the news they see around them; with appropriate disclaimers at the top of their "classroom blogs," to avoid any (overblown and mostly overrated, in my opinion) liability issues for the J-School.

Sure, having students "recap" the news on their class project blogs was a worthwhile exercise, perhaps...FOR THE FIRST COUPLE WEEKS! But after that...let us have students blogging about real events, even if that meant just taking police reports and seeking out additional details, photographs, perhaps talking to some witnesses. Sure, have students do the hypothetical writing lab exercises we all know and love, but if you're going to have students doing blogs...have them seek out their own news instead of "recapping" other people's news.

Advice To Journalism Students: Blog Like Your Life Depends On It

There were a lot of classes after Tiffany's class, and other bright and amazing students. And, actually, sometimes it's the quiet students who end up being the stars. You never know. You try to do right by all of them.

Our journalism curriculum continued to evolve. And though I'm not currently working a TA job at the SJMC, there's not a doubt in my mind Murphy Hall is still dealing with the pressing issue of "How does traditional journalism--and therefore the School of Journalism and Mass Communication--deal with this vital, emerging form of media?"

So me and Tiffany--my former student who, with a Masters Degree, now wants to be referred to as my "colleague"--had lunch at Village Wok. I had the jellyfish, of course, and told Tiffany these little (expletives) are taking over the ocean due to global warming, and I consider it my "civic duty" to eat as many of them as possible, fried up with garlic and garnished with sesame seeds, with a side of rice.

We talked about her job search, her substitute teaching...it is quite something, to be a teacher and realize one of your students has become a teacher, too, and now sees life from the other side of the faculty lounge. We talked about blogging.

I gave Tiffany the confidential low-down on some of the opportunities made available to me because of this blog, and my other blog, www.towingutopia.com. I explained how somebody who works with marketing contacted me, and probably would have given me a job except for the fact I was, good grief, OVERQUALIFIED. I talked about the personal contacts made, the doors opened, the impact my blogs appeared to be having. I told Tiffany about the job interview I have lined up for...well, 7:30 PM tonight. And I credit blogging for that opportunity, though much of it involves the actual hands-on activism I write about here.

I told Tiffany about my brief contact with Cairo-based NBC Producer Charlene Gubash during RNC 2008, and what Charlene said about the blog-o-sphere; how all the major networks are looking for the "one man show" blogger, trying to replicate it.

I told my former student, Tiffany, to blog. To blog like crazy. To grab this emerging form of media by the horns and catch a ride to the stars.

Yes, one must send out resumes, seek opportunities...but if you "pour out content" and "develop a following," the opportunities will start approaching you, plus you'll become "a player" in the very issues you're blogging about, simply by virtue of the fact you're blogging. Of course, there is the risk of offending the powerful...of being pulled "off mission," like my blogging spree on RNC 2008.

"But I loved those posts!" Tiffany protested, eating her "chicken almond ding," which I speculated was some kind of mistaken Chinese menu expression of "chicken almondine."

"Yeah, whatever," I replied. "I can get away with it because RNC 2008 was a major historical event, and I did keep tying things to North Minneapolis. But was it 'off mission?' Absolutely."

So there were risks: offending the powerful, who will force you to alter your content for the sake of self-preservation. Being pulled off-mission. The amount of time and effort required to "pour out content" and "develop a following." But the advice was the same: you want a job in journalism, kid? Start blogging. Carve out your own opportunities in this emerging, powerful media.

Maybe you'll get noticed and hired. Maybe you'll just keep the ink in your metaphorical pen from drying out.

The advice is the same, in either case: BLOG LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT.

A Field Trip To Frogtown And Beyond

So I guess our meal at Village Wok was like the lecture, and then it was time for a field trip.

After an excursion into the criminal underbelly of St. Paul's Frogtown--the details of which are still classified--we ended up in North Minneapolis, where I showed Tiffany "The Apartment Complex of Anarchy" and places where bulldozed houses once sat, but nothing is there anymore, except a sort of fake-o green carpet of reseeding mixture applied to the soil.

I spotted some gang graffiti on a boarded-up house--on the gray boards, not the house--and saw fit to abate it myself with some silver-gray spraypaint. Tiffany pulled out a notepad and started writing stuff down. Later I saw the name of the gang emerge in the first entry on her new blog, "The Education of Ms. D."

For myself, I will not use the names of gangs on this blog, because I do not want to give street gangs "cred," and I'm told the Minneapolis Police Department engages in a similar policy on its own websites. But I can see why the name of the particular gang fascinated Tiffany The Suburbanite. (She may call herself a "suburbanite" but, well, you can't really call Tiffany "naive," especially after a few years of being a substitute teacher in the inner city)

We checked out "my house," which Tiffany agreed had "potential." Then we ended up at the 1029 Bar in Northeast Minneapolis, which Tiffany thought looked really rough from the outside. She hesitated to go in. I laughed and said, "Tiffany, this is A COP BAR."

Police bric-a-brac and a vast assortment of autographed women's bras decorated the rafters of the establishment, and one of the walls featured the door from a New Orleans police car, shot full of holes. A patron at the bar claimed a few more bullet holes had been added AFTER the door was affixed to the wall of the bar. Good times at the 1029 Bar!

Tiffany started pressing the bar tender and a guy on the stool next to her for details about the dangling bras and the criteria for adding a bra on the rafters.

"She can't help herself," I told the bar patron. "She has a degree in journalism." After I said that, he actually pulled out a cell phone and shared pictures of a woman--fully clothed, mind you--hanging her bra on the rafters a few nights earlier, because she declared there "needed to be a sports bra up there."

I had my camera with, and--lazy and sitting on my behind--I took a couple pictures from my bar stool, where I was drinking a Virgin Bloody Mary. (A sneaky homage to Tiffany's strong and stabilizing Roman Catholicism, though it sailed right past her) Tiffany grabbed my camera, found a better angle, and returned with a perfect picture of bras dangling from the rafters of the cop bar.

"There!" she said, triumphantly. "How about THAT?"

(Yes, I did not reply, but who brought a camera with in case there was something interesting to photograph?)

Full Of Ideas And Inspiration

Tiffany said all this talk about the impact of blogging had inspired her, and she realized she should restart her on-again, off-again blogging efforts and focus on interesting, substantive experiences in the Minneapolis public school system. I told Tiffany to be careful. But I was glad...because so much of Tiffany's experience takes place in North Minneapolis, and the more people I can get blogging about North Minneapolis, the better.

I've already linked to it a few times but here it is again: Tiffany's blog

Of course...this doesn't change the fact I'm trying to help Tiffany get a writing job on the other side of the planet in, um....Egypt.

Pursue your dream, I told her, but blog about your experiences here in the meantime. And if those experiences touch upon North Minneapolis...well, so much the better.

The "Secured Gas Station" At West Broadway And Lyndale Ave. N.

Photo By John Hoff

I recently learned the Winner gas station at West Broadway and Lyndale Ave. N. is NOT AS BAD AS IT USED TO BE, even though things look rough there, sometimes. According to a source named Jim W., who is involved in the business operations at the gas station...


Nobody has been murdered there in "12 years." Jim told me the gas station used to have a "grease rack," and the hot food would attract a rough crowd. That is to say...rougher than the crowd which gasses up there now.

Police are always present because the business owners brought the police in, to keep the place secure. That is, of course, a never-ended battle since no-account chronic inebriates and blatant open-air drug dealers congregate near the mega-huge liquor store across the street. They make their way to the Winner gas station to buy Swisher Sweets, cheap Honey Buns or...whatever. Whatever it is thugs buy.

But nobody has been murdered at the gas station in 12 years, according to my source. Therefore, I will not refer to this place as the "Murder Station." I now dub it the "Secured Gas Station."

I will also add this: all gas stations are "murder stations." Read about the bad things which happen in Nigeria so Shell can extract oil. The gas we buy sends money to the Middle East, which ultimately funds terrorism. Fossil fuel consumption is murdering the earth itself.

Therefore all gas stations are murder stations.

ADDENDUM, PLEASE NOTE: This post was altered in late April, 2009, in response to a plea from individuals involved in the ownership of the station, and a favor or two which involved giving me information about 422 30th Ave. N.

Batmobile (Almost) Lost Its Wheel

Photo By John Hoff

So the van I bought off my little brother--the one the chickens seemed to like so much, click here--had a few hidden mechanical issues...

The driver's side left wheel kept squeaking, oddly, but I figured it was just from sitting in a field for so long. And after a while it stopped squeaking. And started grinding. I meant to get it looked at, really, but with the kind of junk I drive my idea of "preventative maintenance" is to keep adding oil.

So about a week ago, I was in North Minneapolis and getting set to hit Interstate 94 and drive to my ancestral rural homeland at breakneck speed, when all of a sudden it felt like THE FREAKING WHEEL WAS COMING OFF. Such a cacophony of grinding metal! I realized I was only about three blocks from Highland Auto Tire, the really cool Hmong-owned auto shop where they give me a good deal when crack heads slash my tires.

I decided not to stop, because I might not be able to go again. I figured if I didn't make it to Highland, I'd at least get close to their garage doors. But I made it there. Barely.

The mechanic made me drive my vehicle into the garage myself because he figured the wheel would come off. Turned out..well, something to do with the axle. A rubber gasket had been severely ripped, allowing a lot of road grit to get into the moving parts, which eventually caused a major malfunction. An hour later, when I took this picture, the metal still felt quite warm to the touch from all the friction.

On the bright side: they fixed it in an hour for $208, and I hit Interstate 94 with very little loss of time. I LOVE HIGHLAND AUTO TIRE and I'm glad to spend my money in the Hawthorne neighborhood, something I do very consciously.

Angels Watching Over Me

The fact this happened JUST BLOCKS BEFORE THE ON-RAMP, and merely one minute before my firmly-laid plans to travel at high rate of speed for 150 miles or so is nothing short of miraculous. I give credit for my survival to Peter Teachout, who is apparently always praying heavenly protection for those around him, even when I neglect to do it myself.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor, Saint Joseph

Image From This Site, Click Here

As you may have noticed, this blog has advertising. And I get paid for it, or I will, when the total revenue reaches 100 bucks. Sometimes, I have to laugh when I see what sorts of ads have been dredged up because of my content...

My recent post about real estate superstitions led to a comment being posted about St. Joseph statues being buried on property. Right after that, an ad appeared with a link to an "underground real estate agent" kit which includes--ta da!--a little St. Joseph statue, suitable for upside down burying, I assume.

My friend Bryan Thao Worra said he avoids allowing advertising on his blog because some of the ads might undercut the very things he's trying to say. I'm just amazed by the sheer randomness of some of the ads but, admittedly, they ARE linked to my content.

Like, I could put up some random words, and random ads would be generated because of it. Let's try an experiment, shall we? Feel free to jump in with noun-rich colorful comments, if you catch my drift. Here we go:

On the coast of Fire Island, living and animated extinguishers toddled in their fireproof pajamas toward the ocean, quaffing delicate sea foam like it was the finest A & W root beer which it was, actually, and fat "Papa Burger" flying fish leaped in the ocean.

On the horizon, a luxury cruise liner had been pressed into service hauling cinnamon, and the crew kept fearful watch for pirates off the coast of Cinnabun. The pirates had been known to raid in small Kodiak boats, but being made of chewing tobacco, the boats often sank before they reached their intended targets.

"Where is my antique silver pendant?" cried the captain's wife, who was chronically depressed and off her M&M meds. "I'm sure one of the crew must have stolen it! They've probably melted it down and wrapped it all about a hundred Hershey kisses."

The Captain said nothing. He was contemplating throwing her overboard to the Swedish Fish near the coast of Candynavia.

The poor woman was psychotic, but it was mostly because of her ability to read minds. So she picked up a bowling ball carved from the most exquisite red licorice (one of the crew had left it rolling around on the deck, for possible use as a cannonball against the pirates) and caved in her husband's skull which--the truth be told--was Easter eggshell thin and made of Graham cracker.

"Now you're Captain CRUNCH!" she shrieked.

Real Estate Agent Superstition?

Photo By John Hoff

While I was touring a house with Connie, I saw...

...Pennies dropped on the floor, and naturally I had to pick them up. That's when Connie Nompelis told me some real estate agents are superstitious, and drop coins at properties. I'd never heard this before. Part of me wondered if Connie wasn't talking about HERSELF, and those were HER pennies, especially when she actually did admit to engaging in the superstition herself and specifically mentioned "five coins." (Who am I to talk, though? I was wearing my "lucky boots" at the time)

I tried to research the "five coins for real estate good luck" superstition and didn't come up with much...if real estate agents engage in such rituals, they're not leaving clues around the blogosphere.

Sometimes We Just...Hang Out (Part Two)

Top Three Photos By John Hoff, Bottom Photo By Brian Thao Worra

During the night of the second presidential candidate debate, I hung out with Jeff Skrenes and Bryan Thao Worra...former communications director for HNC, now on the Hawthorne Board, and one heck of a guy...


Went to watch the debate at a restored, vintage 1931 movie theater. The DFL had arranged to use the theater for people to watch the debate, and the large crowd made it a lot of fun...especially members of the Missile D*** Chicks, who I met during the RNC 2008 protests.

(Above, Jeff sees if the "thunderstick" noise makers can serve as fake walrus tusks)

Afterward, we went to the Chatterbox bar, where I had a Bloody Mary and did that thing I always do: I told the waiter "drag it through the garden" to help popularize this phrase to mean "put as many veggie garnishes as you possibly can on my Bloody Mary."

Try it some time. When you're ordering a Bloody Mary, just say, rather casually, "Drag it through the garden." If the bartender asks what that means, explain it's a phrase used to mean "put a lot of veggie garnishes on it, as many as you can."

In any case...we don't spend ALL our time cranking out the monthly newsletter and attending public hearings. Sometimes we just hang out.

Sometimes We Just...Hang Out (Part One)

Photos By John Hoff

I had visitation with my son this weekend, and we spent a lot of time over at Jeff Skrenes' apartment, where Jeff made a stir fry with ant larvae and pork tongue, which was delicious. Well, Jeff wasn't willing to eat the ant larvae, so I had that all to myself. I was pretty disappointed because I couldn't get bamboo caterpillars. I learned from the store clerk they were a seasonal item. Who knew? (The clerk said some non-Hmong buy them to use as bait! GOOD TO KNOW!)

My kid and Jeff played "Star Wars Trivial Pursuit." I HAD NO IDEA my kid had so much Star Wars trivia locked in his head. They played until late at night, then finished early on Sunday morning. Jeff finally won, but the kid held his own. And, Jeff noted with approval, my kid "didn't argue to change the rules" when things didn't go his way.

The highlight of the evening was Jeff singing a song he wrote: "The Masters Of Star Wars" set to the tune of Bob Dylan's "The Masters Of War." JEFF HAS SO GOT TO PUT THIS ON YOUTUBE!!!!!!

We don't spend ALL our time suing CitiMortgage or calling 911 on blatant open air drug markets. Hey, sometimes we just...hang out.

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Fare Thee Well, 733 HP Photosmart With 3.2 Megapixels (Hello 5.2 Megapixels!)

Photo, above, by John Hoff
Photo, below, by unknown


My digital camera never did work quite right after my backpack broke the blow when I vaulted over that cement barrier during RNC 2008, as the smoke bombs and flash bang grenades went off in front of the Grayhound Station...

The camera suddenly had trouble turning on...and it would abruptly turn itself off, even when the batteries were fresh. Tricks like shaking it, taking out the batteries and putting them back in, these things worked for a while...but yesterday it just...died. And couldn't be revived.

Digital Salvage Operation

I was worried about some of the pictures on the memory card, including McKenna Teachout, Age 1, moments after she took four big baby steps. McKenna's mommy, Joy Teachout, wanted those photos and I'd promised to send them by email. Plus there were the "shoe patrol" trophy pics.

Fortunately, Bryan Thao Worra at the HACC office showed me how to extract the memory card and I was able to save all those last photos. (Actually, Bryan has been showing me loads of valuable stuff in preparation for taking on some new duties in Hawthorne, and I'm very grateful for that)

I'm bummed about the camera, not because of its technical abilities...it was rather limited, in some ways, but it filled all my purposes...no, rather I'm bummed because that camera had sentimental value. A businessman donated it because he supports my efforts to help my neighborhood and, well, because he bought a much better camera. I'll always remember it was "Bill's camera" which took this blog up a notch and pushed me over a small "digital divide."

Hello, Gangster Cam

So today I went to a pawn shop in St. Paul's Frogtown neighborhood, looking for a similar HP camera. I learned my previous model was so old pawn shops won't buy it anymore, but I was offered an upgraded version. The digital functions were familiar, which was comforting. I not only bought that camera, but I got a deal on a spare.

The memory card hadn't been erased on my "primary" pawn shop camera, and it contained exactly 343 pictures of...well, somebody else's life. The picture I've included, above, conveys the general spirit, and that's all I'll say about it except...

I've dubbed it "The Gangster Cam."

Fare Thee Well, "Chick Magnet"

Photos By John Hoff

My vehicles all have names, but sometimes the names change when something notable happens. My 1988 Chevy Celebrity...

...acquired the nickname "Chick Magnet" from the times I drive down Lyndale Ave. N. at the end of the month, and prostitutes throw themselves at the vehicle faster than I can call their locations to the police.

I was wondering what I'd name my new vehicle right when a live chicken jumped inside. (See previous post) I realized the name was obvious: Chick Magnet Two.

Above, top picture, my old vehicle with the "good battery" removed to be placed in my new vehicle. Middle, the "sticker collage" inside the trunk, which was just starting to acquire some critical mass after I visited all those booths during the RNC 2008 protests. Sigh. Well, it's fun to start all over!

Below, a scene from one of the places I went to reconnect with my rural roots and, of course, acquire more supplies in the battle to revitalize North Minneapolis. What did I get THIS time? Well, long underwear...cans of soup...another pair of blue jeans...a fairly good jack for the next tire slashing...stubs from the two movies I watched on my mini-vacation away from North Minneapolis: House Bunny and Righteous Kill.

Righteous Kill was a stupid movie. As a member of the audience, I felt conned by the cheap slight-of-hand move designed to conceal an important element of the plot. It's a sad day when you've got Pacino and Deniro in the same movie, but it can't stack up to House Bunny.

Get Out Of My New Van, You Crazy Chicken!!!!!

Photo By John Hoff

So I was gone a couple of days. My rusty 1988 Celebrity was becoming too well known in North Minneapolis, and twice had tires slashed...

So I traveled some distance to the place where I have my rural roots, and recharged my mental batteries by being with my family. One of my relatives arranged a trade of vehicles, and did a lot of work to get the replacement vehicle ready: pulled the "good" battery out of my Celebrity to use it in the van, replaced headlight bulbs, put on a new tire--actually eating the cost--yanked out the two back seats, secured some plastic doo-hicky on the passenger seat, and more stuff I probably forgot.

Part of the proceeds for this transaction came from the money I received for that smashed passenger side window. Plus my relative will be enjoying those two "brand new" tires. Thanks, crack heads.

While we were working, one of the laying hens kept jumping into the van to peck at gravel and (I suspect) animal cracker crumbs. I'd chase it away, but it would just keep coming back. And that's when I had an idea. More in a future post.

Much Gooder, I Think

I wish I knew who to credit

One of my drill sergeants at Fort Jackson, Drill Sergeant Dozier, used to have a unique expression.

"Much gooder," he would say. "Muuuuuuuuuuch gooder."

And that's what I want to say about this picture, submitted by the anonymous person who sent the other one, in response to my commentary.

Karl, is that you? Jake, maybe?

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