Monday, May 31, 2010

Transporting A Lawnmower "Northside Style"

Contributed photo, blog post by John Hoff

My house in NoMi--purchased for a mere $17,900--has a big yard to mow. I used to have a lawnmower, which I bought off a professional used lawnmower salesman for a mere $50--but my friend Peter Teachout is the only guy who can make that lawnmower start. So more than a year ago I "borrowed" Peter the lawnmower, but the truth is I hope I never see it again, and Peter can have it.

Now when I need to mow my lawn I have to borrow a lawnmower, usually from Megan Goodmundson or Connie Nompelis. This means transporting the lawnmower, somehow. The day before yesterday, Megan helped me move the lawnmower in the usual way: Northside style.

It's always funny, the looks you get while sitting in a car trunk, hanging on to a lawnmower rolling behind the car, like a human ball hitch. But if you wave to anybody with one hand, the lawnmower will start "fishtailing." So smile and nod, do not wave like a beauty queen on a parade float. The driver knows enough to avoid the busy streets like 26th Ave. N. and Lyndale Ave. N.

I should mention that once, just for variety, I pulled a grill this way behind Megan's car.

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Dyna, Parade Junkie! said...

that's the newbie Northsider way. Us oldtimers would have firmly attached that $50 lawnmower to the car with bungie cords, cable ties, and duct tape!

Patrick said...

That's illegal. If you lost your grip on that mower it could careen into the street and damage property or hurt someone. I'm calling 311 on you if I ever see you doing that.

Johnny Northside said...

Oh? And will 311 take a report from an anonymous troll?

Anonymous said...

No but i'll bet 911 would take a report of a white guy riding in the trunk of a car in North Minneapolis. But if I told them it was John Hoff they would probably laugh and hang up.

Johnny Northside said...

You bet they'd laugh and hang up.

God bless the 4th Precinct. See upcoming blog report about the 14 dime bags of weed taken off Penn Ave. N. after I made a 911 call.

Patricia said...

NoMi would be a better place if marijuana was taxed and regulated. That would do more to drive the thugs out of business than getting 20 ounces of weed off the streets.

Concerned Citizen said...

Keep in mind there are folks who have medical issues that need access to those dimebags you took away. Minnesota has not figured out what California has and until they get with the program it will be people like you depriving them of their pain medicine.

NOMI Rhymesayer said...

Puff, puff, pass
the green ganja grass
dont fret when the cops harrass
they act crass
only because they cant inhale THC gas
antiweed is not me
hit a water bong with glee
while sipping on a glass of mushroom tea
so, as you see weed is not a crime
stop wasting prison money on kids with dimes

Anonymous said...

Looks like that is a Toyota Camry. I would say a 1995 or '96? That car has a very big trunk with a low edge above the bumper which means you could easily fit that Snapper lawn mower in the trunk. You would need to collapse the bars making it a sqaure shape.
Not an opinion as I have moved two lawn mowers in a Camry trunk at the same time. The trunk wouldn't close all the way but, a simple ratchet tie-down secured it as far as it would shut.
Reading your post detailing the transportation of the mower made me think you watch too much of that PBS show, Red Green.

Johnny Northside! said...

Never heard of that show.

There was stuff in the trunk.

Anonymous said...

Do a Google on that show name. The guy in the show rigs nearly everything with duct tape.
There were things in the trunk? Looking at the picture, the things in the trunk didn't take up that much space and could have easily gone inside the car or even folded the back seats down to extend the cargo space. Other than that, you appeared to be the only other thing in the trunk and it is not legal for a passenger to ride in the trunk or bumper when the car is being operated on a public street.
You amaze me that you knowingly do things that you know you shouldn't and then you have the audacity to brag about it on your site? I doubt folks in the subs wouldn't do something like that.
Oh and I am sorry for I was incorrect on my last comment. I said Snapper and it was actually a Lawn Boy.