Photo By Alex Hoff, age 11 Shortly after the sentencing of T.J. Waconia fraudsters Thomas Balko and Jon Helgason, I had a very interesting lunch meeting with Jim Watkins, the self-described "best friend" of Balko.
Jim and I have been so far apart on our views of what is "justice" in this case, and so many words have flown back and forth, that for a while I dubbed Jim "the Anti-Johnny." Jim took that label and wore it with pride.
So, I ask you, if Johnny Northside is made of "Johnny matter," and the evil Anti-Johnny is made of "anti-Johnny matter," what happens if they touch? It was my contention the whole universe would be destroyed, but I learned all I know about anti-matter from watching "Land of the Lost" on Saturday morning.
Kip Browne, Chair of the Jordan Area Community Council, no doubt speaking in his capacity as chair, and as a licensed attorney, informs me the "only thing" which will happen if matter and anti-matter touch is a "wormhole" is created in the fabric of space and time. Watch out if you're in the second booth from the entryway at Broadway Pizza, that's all I'm going to say.
In any case, me and Jim Watkins met to bury various hatchets and discuss the T.J. Waconia matter...
My son, Alex, was sitting in the booth at Broadway Pizza, playing on my computer. I told my son about Jim--how we really don't agree on some stuff, and there was the possibility the discussion could get angry, but most likely we'd just have to "agree to disagree." I told my son grownups with good sense could sit down and talk like this. He could learn a thing or two by being in a position to observe such a conversation, with his mouth mostly shut.
After I explained this stuff, my son was actually worried some wrath might come in HIS direction from Jim's mouth. I told my son THAT just wouldn't happen, because there had been internet discussions where I'd said "LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF THIS, CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT," briefly taking the side of Helgason and Balko where THAT was concerned. The constitution of the United States specifically forbids "blood crimes," which means you're not guilty of anything just because your PARENT is guilty.
No, I told my son, Jim wouldn't say anything mean...at least not to an 11-year-old.
To his credit, Jim was as pleasant as could be. We've figured out a long time ago that he's not going to change my mind, and I'm not going to change his. Jim gave me copies of the self-published books he's written about making money in real estate--the advice is limited to the State of Texas--and I signed Jim's copy of Dumpster Diving: The Advanced Course by John Hoffman.
In the course of our conversation, Jim told me some stuff about Thomas Balko and Jon Helgason. First of all, they are planning to show up and serve their sentences. They've each calculated how old they'd be after 84 and 96 months, respectively, and they've figured out much of their life will be ahead of them. So they're not going to throw all that away by getting in a car and driving to who-knows-where.
Prior to meeting with Jim, my son and I had a long talk about extradition treaties and the best place to go if you're a fugitive. My son figured he'd go to ENGLAND, because he can speak English and so it would easier to make a life there.
I told my son about Brazil, and how as long as you're the father of a Brazilian child, THEY WON'T EXTRADITE YOU. I was just getting to the part about how the best way to avoid these issues is to simply obey the law in the first place, but Jim showed up right at that moment and sat down, ordering cheese bread, and I forgot to tell Alex to remain law-abiding, even if he might happen to learn a thing or two about loopholes in extradition treaties.
If my son becomes a fugitive living in Brazil, desperately seeking to father a child, it will all be the fault of Jim Watkins.
Anyway, Jim mentioned that Thomas Balko has been working. Jim said something about involvement in the roofing industry. How the mighty have fallen!
However, I wasn't taking notes, and I confess it may have been HELGASON who Jim was talking about, but I was fairly confident the guy selling roofing supplies was BALKO. Use comments function if you know different. If it was HELGASON selling the roofing supplies, I still draw the same conclusion:
How the mighty have fallen!
Jim and I have been so far apart on our views of what is "justice" in this case, and so many words have flown back and forth, that for a while I dubbed Jim "the Anti-Johnny." Jim took that label and wore it with pride.
So, I ask you, if Johnny Northside is made of "Johnny matter," and the evil Anti-Johnny is made of "anti-Johnny matter," what happens if they touch? It was my contention the whole universe would be destroyed, but I learned all I know about anti-matter from watching "Land of the Lost" on Saturday morning.
Kip Browne, Chair of the Jordan Area Community Council, no doubt speaking in his capacity as chair, and as a licensed attorney, informs me the "only thing" which will happen if matter and anti-matter touch is a "wormhole" is created in the fabric of space and time. Watch out if you're in the second booth from the entryway at Broadway Pizza, that's all I'm going to say.
In any case, me and Jim Watkins met to bury various hatchets and discuss the T.J. Waconia matter...
My son, Alex, was sitting in the booth at Broadway Pizza, playing on my computer. I told my son about Jim--how we really don't agree on some stuff, and there was the possibility the discussion could get angry, but most likely we'd just have to "agree to disagree." I told my son grownups with good sense could sit down and talk like this. He could learn a thing or two by being in a position to observe such a conversation, with his mouth mostly shut.
After I explained this stuff, my son was actually worried some wrath might come in HIS direction from Jim's mouth. I told my son THAT just wouldn't happen, because there had been internet discussions where I'd said "LEAVE THE KIDS OUT OF THIS, CHILDREN ARE INNOCENT," briefly taking the side of Helgason and Balko where THAT was concerned. The constitution of the United States specifically forbids "blood crimes," which means you're not guilty of anything just because your PARENT is guilty.
No, I told my son, Jim wouldn't say anything mean...at least not to an 11-year-old.
To his credit, Jim was as pleasant as could be. We've figured out a long time ago that he's not going to change my mind, and I'm not going to change his. Jim gave me copies of the self-published books he's written about making money in real estate--the advice is limited to the State of Texas--and I signed Jim's copy of Dumpster Diving: The Advanced Course by John Hoffman.
In the course of our conversation, Jim told me some stuff about Thomas Balko and Jon Helgason. First of all, they are planning to show up and serve their sentences. They've each calculated how old they'd be after 84 and 96 months, respectively, and they've figured out much of their life will be ahead of them. So they're not going to throw all that away by getting in a car and driving to who-knows-where.
Prior to meeting with Jim, my son and I had a long talk about extradition treaties and the best place to go if you're a fugitive. My son figured he'd go to ENGLAND, because he can speak English and so it would easier to make a life there.
I told my son about Brazil, and how as long as you're the father of a Brazilian child, THEY WON'T EXTRADITE YOU. I was just getting to the part about how the best way to avoid these issues is to simply obey the law in the first place, but Jim showed up right at that moment and sat down, ordering cheese bread, and I forgot to tell Alex to remain law-abiding, even if he might happen to learn a thing or two about loopholes in extradition treaties.
If my son becomes a fugitive living in Brazil, desperately seeking to father a child, it will all be the fault of Jim Watkins.
Anyway, Jim mentioned that Thomas Balko has been working. Jim said something about involvement in the roofing industry. How the mighty have fallen!
However, I wasn't taking notes, and I confess it may have been HELGASON who Jim was talking about, but I was fairly confident the guy selling roofing supplies was BALKO. Use comments function if you know different. If it was HELGASON selling the roofing supplies, I still draw the same conclusion:
How the mighty have fallen!
7 comments:
John, you seem to be spending a lot of time at Broadway Pizza (not that that's a bad thing). They must have free WiFi?
Dyna
The signal is weak but, yeah, I've been able to pick it up.
As I have said in the past, I hate it when you are civil (insert sarcasm) because, it prompts me to be the same.
I am glad you weren't taking notes because I was under the impression that it was a social lunch.
So, for the record...
It was Tom that was working in roofing but, he was not selling roofing supplies as you hinted at. He was working with roofing companies to identify houses needing new roofs and he helped the homeowners considerably by letting them know that their insurance most likely would pay 100% of the costs. He never asked for or collected any money. Imagine that.
Of course when winter set in, business went into hibernation.
For the readers (if any will see this at this point): As brash and candid as John can be... His son, Alex is a very nice, well mannered kid. Go figure.
Thanks for the write up.
I'll tweak the blog post accordingly to say something like "involved in the roofing industry" and let your post stand.
Yes, my kid is great. You should meet a nice girl and have yourself some kids, Jim. They put everything in life into perspective, and make our struggles meaningful.
Video of Thomas Balko explaining how he did wrong and is going to prison.
http://ust-pcstream1.stthomas.edu/law/BalkoShortVersion.wmv
P.S. I was surprised the link for the video still works. Johnny plz get back to me soon.
The person who submitted the comment above submitted another comment, designated not intended for publication, which basically asks for my help in creating social media regarding the TJ Waconia scandal. My response is that I am retiring from blogging in a few weeks and not up for a project like that. Good luck, though.
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