Wednesday, April 15, 2009

PHOTOS: This Is Why Mr. Slummy's Bloody, Decapitated Head Ended Up On A Pole, A Graphic Lesson That We Ain't Partial To Slumlords Round These Parts!!!








Photos By Jeff Skrenes 

From top to bottom, here's the pictures which illustrate the previous blog post.

You now what this first picture reminds me of? When I was a little kid, there was a store at the Viking Plaza Mall in Alexandria, Minnesota which sold nothing but Western-themed items. A rack near the cash register sold humorous postcards, showing cartoony cowboy construction projects like fanciful outhouses poised, precariously, over...

...steep cliffs.

Yeah, that's what this picture reminds me of. Well, except for the part about it being humorous.

Some readers might be wondering what is that rounded, barrel like structure on the bottom, also clear in the second and third photo? 

Well, that's what's called a "cistern." These were common at one time. You'd capture rainwater and use the water for washing, drinking, bathing. Green, sustainable technology might yet bring back the cistern. We shall see. In the meantime, it's good to know many old houses actually have cisterns and the owners are unaware of their existence, because they've been covered over.

The fourth photo really shows how EXPANSION and ADDITION were clearly being plotted, not demolition of the structure. In the fifth photo: yes, that's a great idea. Hold up the house with a very large toothpick.

Next photo: this is not "where's Waldo?" This is "can you spot the busted sewer pipe?"

Second to last photo: now that our elite anti-slumlord unit has actually defeated a "Baby Backhoe of Doom," scientists can study the incident for clues to save our neighborhood from the adult version of the BACKHOE OF DOOM!!!!

In the last photo, you see the slumlord to the left of the Baby Backhoe of Doom--his head still attached to his shoulders at this point--walking toward Jeff. I'm told that today Jeff walked up and shook the hand of a city inspector while the slumlord was standing there, glaring daggers.

Well, as much as a severed head can "glare daggers" at anybody.

2 comments:

Ranty said...

Hmm... with such severe damage, I'd say that house is now beyond realistic repair.

It should probably just be torn down completely.

Johnny Northside said...

Why tear it down? Leave it like that, let a few good rains come, and it will FALL DOWN on its own!