Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Johnny Northside Location Update For "Spanky" Pete Rickmyer Includes Fresh Seafood On The Gulf Coast...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

Friends know I am such a fanatic recycler that I actually recycle sea shells. While enjoying the scenic Mississippi Gulf Coast with my son, Alex, headed for all the fun amusement parks in Orlando, Florida, I've gotten some great deals on fresh oysters. But almost as much fun as eating the oysters is walking to the nearby ocean and returning the shells to nature.

My last oyster-eating session was particularly cool because my 14-year-old son, Alex, (a notoriously picky eater) actually ate a raw oyster for money.

For that matter, he ate a boiled peanut for free.

Haven't heard of boiled peanuts? Oh, it's a Dixieland delicacy, sold in almost every mom and pop gas station from the Florida panhandle into the Carolinas.

But back to the issue at hand: As previously promised, I need to give notorious Level Three sex offender Peter "Spanky Pete" Rickmyer regular location clues so he has a fair and square chance to serve me with his mental manure-pile of pseudo legal paperwork...

So right this moment I'm staying in the same super-cheap hotel that I stayed in last night, not far from the historic home of former Confederate President Jefferson Davis. But soon I will be throwing my gear into my vehicle and driving toward Orlando. There are a lot of amusement parks in Orlando, but they all have one thing in common: Level Three sex offenders are not welcome around the kiddies. So Pete will have to find a non-sex offender process server to slap me with his weird, drooly paperwork.

Kind of like he slapped the buttocks of those minors at the fried chicken place he used to manage in North Minneapolis.

Just to help Pete out further: rather than going north a wee bit along Highway 49 to meet up with Interstate 10, I plan to stay on "90," the scenic road that runs along the Gulf Coast. I will hit Interstate 10 later. I plan to stop in some random small Florida town to use the post office, buy some money orders to pay my house taxes, etc.

Oh, and I'm going to buy more boiled peanuts.

I will be posting a picture of myself wearing a Mickey Mouse hat, just for Petey-Poo to enjoy!


Anonymous said...

You flew your son down there for vacation. Why don't you concentrate in him, or is Pete more important?
No one is going to serve you down there, get over yourself you're not that material.

Johnny Northside! said...

Well, that's the great thing. It really doesn't take me long to whip out a blog post giving location clues to Spanky Pete.

So I'm going to keep doing it, especially since I enjoy seeing how much it upsets the pro-Pete The Child Molester trolls.

Have Fun Johnny and Alex said...

anon 2:05, I don't know Johnny but I'll bet that his son is up on what his dad is doing and is laughing at the Chimo in a 'Can't Touch This' sort of way.