Monday, November 26, 2012

Hillside Avenue North Neighbors Are Unhappy With Halfway House On 1622 Hillside Ave. N., Particularly "Glen The Drunken Pissing Wanderer"

Photo, blog post by John Hoff

Oh, my word. Two posts in a row mentioning bodily excretions in the headline. This is not the kind of thing I like to write before the Christmas holidays.

So! There is a "halfway house" on 1622 Hillside Ave. N. which is operated by People Incorporated. As Mitt Romney put it so well, "Corporations are people, my friend" and in this case we see the reverse is true, too, and people are corporations.

One of the people staying at the halfway house is named Glen Something, spelling of "Glen" unknown. Glen Something has a habit of wandering around, intoxicated, and apparently mistaking the homes of nearby neighbors for his happy halfway house at 1622 Hillside Ave. N.

Believe me, attempts have been made to determine Glen's full name, including one resident spending quite a while combing the jail roster. Anybody who has the name of this Glen Something?

Johnny is hungry. Feed Johnny Thanksgiving leftovers. (Puppy dog face) 

Anway, just a couple days ago Glen tried to get into the door of the same house that was...

...broken into by the "Turd Burglars" juvenile burglary ring. On another recent occasion, this same Glen walked right up to the front porch of Don Samuels, the city councilman in charge of the Public Safety Committee, and knocked on his door. Glen drunkenly swayed on the porch for a few moments and then finally urinated all over the porch.

Incredibly, Don Samuels helped walk the man back to the house where he belonged, playing peacemaker with a neighbor who had more than merely fleeting thoughts of kicking Glen's drunken ass.

Lately, it seems the management at the halfway house just isn't keeping things nailed down tight. Naturally, this results in conversations with a neighborhood blogger.

People Incorporated?

Fix this crap. 


Anonymous said...

Don is a saint. We need at minimum of a thousand Don Samuels in Nomi.

Fundraising campaign for cloning commenced.

Johnny Northside! said...

Of all the porches he could pick to piss on, Glen Something picks the porch of Don Samuels, who actually said (I forgot this part) "I forgive you."

Hard evidence of the saying that God watches out for fools and children.

Anonymous said...

"Oh, my word. Two posts in a row mentioning bodily excretions in the headline. This is not the kind of thing I like to write before the Christmas holidays."

If you didn't like to write it, you wouldn't. The only person your blog serves is yourself and no amount of self-aggrandizement will change that fact.

Anonymous said...

Don's been coming in contact with a lot of pissers lately, hasn't he?

Anonymous said...

Glen was sent by Al(don't piss on my)Flowers(they might grow into something that i can smoke)Jr. Seen you on cable, Al, now i can say i've seen you on everything except D-Con. What'cha waitin'fer?