Sunday, November 18, 2012

Perennial Also Ran Roger Smithrud Also Ran For Hennepin County Commissioner, District 2, WHO KNEW?

Image used under First Amendment fair comment and criticism, blog post by John Hoff

Roger Smithrud, a perennial losing candidate for local office, apparently ran as a write-in for Hennepin County Commissioner, District 2, the race in which Linda Higgins and Blong Yang were the (how to phrase this?) real candidates. This blog previously reported on Smithrud's participation in the primary and how Smithrud had a VERY NICE SIGN. 

Incredibly, Smithrud ran as a write-in. I say "incredibly" because, well, his write-in candidacy was so far below the radar that garden slugs were the only ones who observed it passing by and, second, Smithrud can't even win when he's on the ballot so why bother running as a write-in?

"Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and the lizard people are not running for Hennepin County Commissioner #2, so go write in Roger Smithrud," was apparently his slogan. His campaign literature goes on to state...

"When the unemployed or underemployed get their gas shutoff (sic) and has to pay (sic) for street repairs to get their services turned back on emergency assistance sometimes has to pay the bill so better planning over streets and county roads before and during construction could save thousands and thousands of dollars."

Yeah, I'm scratching my head over that one, too, though I've already stated Smithrud needs to have an English Major proofread his campaign literature before distributing it. "Shutoff" may be one word when it's a noun, but in the context above should be two words. Furthermore, "the unemployed or underemployed" is a plural, so one would correctly write "have to pay" not "has to pay," like so:

He has to pay.

They have to pay.

As for whatever problem Smithrud is trying to talk about in his flyer, that's not clear. Is he suggesting some kind of built-in access points so utilities could be accessed easier from the street? Is he confusing the digging that takes place before DEMOLITION to shut off utilities with some other process? Or has Smithrud actually stumbled into a legitimate problem and a legitimate solution, even though it's not clearly explained?

This blog has never shied away from dishing out advice to Smithrud, so here goes nothing.

Once again, Roger, you need somebody to proofread your flyers and by that I don't mean somebody who is merely half a notch smarter than you and can sing the alphabet song without stumbling. I mean an actual person of letters and NO I AM NOT GOING TO HELP YOU.

Secondly, you don't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning when you're actually on the ballot so how do you think running as a write-in will increase your odds? And your line about Mickey Mouse, etc., was just completely off. That line might almost (not quite) work if the only two candidates for the office were both widely loathed, but instead both are widely loved. There were simply no voters out there thinking, "Oh, I can't stand either one of these candidates in District 2." You, Roger, may be the one and only voter who felt that way but I'm quite willing to believe you voted for yourself.

On the bright side, the issue you outlined (whatever it was) sounds very specific and nobody else had mentioned it in the race. So you were almost on to something, maybe. (Though I kind of doubt it)

Now it's time for the Johnny Northside blog to serenade Roger Smithrud with a song via YouTube embed, here goes.


Anonymous said...

..."Smithrud can't even win when he's on the ballot so why bother running as a write-in?"...

And, yet, you were encouraging some to list your name as a write-in during the same election. Pot, meet kettle.

The Hawthorne Hawkman said...

Am I mistaken, or is the 6 handwritten over a different number? Because it looks like he, or the chief of staff of his campaign, typed a 5 and then instead of running off new copies it was just scribbled over.

Hey, paper ain't cheap.

Johnny Northside! said...

To the first commenter.

A blog post that bordered on farce calling attention to the pointless election of Soil and Water Conservation supervisor positions isn't even on the same pathetic plane of political existence as the perennial garden gnome candidate and his oh-so-public struggle with the English language.

But you have a point. I should make sure I get on that ballot next time.

Johnny Northside! said...

To Hawthorne Hawkman OH MY WORD YES.

Yes, the number "6" is handwritten on the flyer. I didn't even see that.