Looking for blogworthy angles, I am always using Google to find recent articles mentioning "North Minneapolis." Sometimes I find out that fire has claimed a house on North Minneapolis Street in Wichita, Kansas, but usually I turn up useful news articles that inform me and help me dig up information to inform others.
On October 20, I turned up a news article about the urban "backyard chicken" trend and how the trend is fading and chickens are turning up at shelters, click here.
Shelters. For chickens!!!!!
I live in North Minneapolis, but I grew up as rural as can be and let me tell you, SHELTERS for CHICKENS is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard, unless the shelter in question has a little figurine of Colonel Sanders on the pointy part of the roof...
...and a delicious fried smell emanating from the inside.
Listen up, city slickers. Here's how it works with chickens.
You keep them while they are laying eggs. When they stop laying eggs, you whack their heads off with an axe, stick them in a pot of boiling water, pull off the feathers, then cut them open and rip out the guts. Most of the guts are no good, like the lungs and intestines. But the heart, liver, and gizzard are pretty good and you can eat those. And, yes, they do "run around like a chicken with their head cut off" or at least they flop around for a few minutes after decapitation.
I've seen it more times than I could possibly count. My family PROCESSED POULTRY for god sakes, among many other pungent and intensely rural tasks. I think I once killed 100 chickens in an afternoon, by myself, at about the age of 12. I thank god I grew up this way. It gave me an incredibly strong stomach, for one thing.
But I digress.
There is no other sensible and economic way to keep chickens than to eat them when the chickens are done laying eggs. If you want a pet, get a cat, a dog or better yet a goldfish, which require little effort and expense. If you want fresh eggs, then get yourself some chickens but DO NOT BECOME EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH THE CHICKENS because you will have to KILL THEM and EAT THEM.
If you can't embrace your role as a superior life form fit to eat other life forms, then don't get chickens in the first place. Learn how to make cheese out of cashews or some other kind of intensely vegetarian hobby but DO NOT GET CHICKENS. Buy your eggs at the store and pay a little more for free range eggs (like I insist upon doing when I buy eggs) but DO NOT GET CHICKENS.
Now, I hope I have cleared this matter up for the many city slickers who enjoy this blog. Back to our regularly scheduled struggle to revitalize the neighborhood.