Wednesday, January 9, 2013

(JNS BLOG GLOVES-ARE-OFF EDITORIAL) Lake Street Gets A $10.5 Million Dollar Project, Penn Ave. N. Gets Transsexual Hookers, THIS IS WHY WE NEED LIGHT RAIL IN NORTH MINNEAPOLIS!!! WTF?!!! SERIOUSLY, WTF!!??

Creative stock photo, suspected transsexual hooker near
Penn Ave N., blog post by John Hoff

Council Member and mayoral hopeful Gary Schiff has me on his email list, which is how I received the press release about a $10.5 million dollar project to put a mixed-use building on Lake Street near the light rail.

Oh, my. Let's all gaze upon the goodies Lake Street will be getting as a result of its open, accepting attitude toward light rail while North Minneapolis will be getting, well, Precious Boo Thang Sweet Sugar Sack, pictured above...

The Lake Street project will be SIX STORIES HIGH. Oh, my word. Are there ANY BUILDINGS AT ALL in North Minneapolis that are six stories high? I am racking my brain to come up with even ONE building that tall.

I am having a serious case of building envy. Right now.

This building will be mixed use, so I assume that means retail on the ground floor. And I don't mean retail like, "Crappy little building that somebody appears to be using as a barber shop, but most decent people are afraid to go inside." No, I mean like retail where the floors are cleaned more than a couple times a year.

Let's find out more, shall we? One bedroom units will start at $866. Wow, that sounds pretty affordable. Doesn't sound like gentrification to me, not at all! That sounds like the expected economic benefits of light rail going to the people who need it the most. And when I say "need," I don't mean "I really need a hooker, right now, and maybe if I close my eyes I can pretend that one was born a girl."

The building will be called the Hi-Lake Triangle. Wow, that sounds utilitarian yet sort of classy at the same time. As compared to, well...


Oh, wow.  I am reading more stuff, here. It turns out Hi-Lake Triangle will have a fitness center and a community room for residents.


About a month ago I was talking to some nice folks who are involved with the development of West Broadway, and in the course of our lunch I aired an idea which I have dubbed the "Too Much Noise Hypothesis." It goes a little something like this:

Some of the most strident voices opposing a light rail line through North Minneapolis don't really oppose light rail at all. They simply want to kick up a big fuss, hoping there will be payments, payoffs, and gravy to be had in exchange for all the "suffering" (note the quote marks) they will have to endure if and when light rail came through. Of course, the problem with making all that "noise" is there's no way to control or modulate "faux dissent," which appears just like dissent. Some true dissenters may have even jumped aboard the bandwagon in all sincerity, not aware of ulterior motives of individuals driving the wagon.

Well, the economic gravy will be coming AFTER light rail goes through, not before. And it will go to the communities who embrace light rail instead of kicking up a big fuss and comparing the coming of light rail to (good God!) the destruction of the Rondo community. Yeah, really, it's more like when I-94 went through the countryside and some communities found themselves blessed and others were left out in the cold.

But who knows? Maybe some of those voices of opposition against the light rail just want to look out for their Precious Boo Thang Sweet Sugar Sack, pictured above.

I am not judging. Hey, maybe that's their thing.

But, honestly, couldn't this guy pictured above benefit from a MATCHING pink outfit? And isn't that the kind of benefit which would come from light rail?


M. Clinton said...

There's no question that North Minneapolis will have LRT. The question is "Where?" I would prefer Street Cars to LRT on West Broadway. Street Cars would service ALL of West Broadway whereas LRT would only have one stop (Broadway and Penn) and that stop would be far from the "heart" of the business district, leaving that area pretty much the only commercial corridor in the city without some sort of fixed rail in the planning. Both D1 and D2 were crappy proposals. I believe strongly that what should happen is that we should go back to looking at Lowry for LRT and proceed with the already planned Broadway Washington Street Car Alignment for West Broadway.

Horst said...

Just when I thought they had run out of ways to make Lake/Hiawatha a more miserable intersection...

Anonymous said...

$10.5 Million is chump change compared to the over $190 million they already put into the Mid-Town Global Market!

Johnny Northside! said...

So why can't we get even a couple million to fix up those buildings on West Broadway that are owned by CPED?

Anonymous said...

Pretty much anything you build along Broadway is going to be wrecked in a matter of years anyway. Just look at all the newer houses that are boarded up with the siding falling off.

Anonymous said...

I'll take light rail And streetcars in north. First thing we need is Light Rail. Johnny can you use your influence to get it built?

Anonymous said...

Whoa, dude. Seriously?

You say you're "not judging", but you clearly are. "Mangina"? Cut out the transphobic slurs. Reminder: you went through life without questioning your gender identity, and you have no clue what it's like to have to deal with the bullshit that people like you throw at trans people on a daily basis.

When you said the gloves came off, did they come off because this is the most impressive way you could find to state that you gave up on expressing yourself in an educated manner? When you clearly wish to be a citizen journalist, are you sure that you're at least upholding some journalistic ideals? You say this is an editorial, so, would you say in your opinion, trans people are silly and deserving of your ridicule?

If this is what it means for the gloves to be off, do keep them on. Target your ire at people who put themselves in places of power, not people who are downtrodden by society's (and your) expectations of what is normal.

I'm surprised that you've lived on the north side as long as you have, and what you've gotten out of it so far is "Teehee, look at the silly people I live by!" Educate yourself, please.

Johnny Northside! said...

Struggling with gender identity doesn't give anybody the right to be walking the streets of my neighborhood. And if they are, they're going to get a scathing critique from me, and the word "mangina" might get used.

The editorial is not directed at trans people in general, but at the individuals who are engaged in prostitution on the streets of my neighborhood, which I find rather like the ultimate colorful example of urban squalor as compared to the bright, shining economic benefits that revitalization through light rail could bring.