A couple weeks ago, I was in Bishkek-Manas, Kyrgyzstan, on the way back from Afghanistan, reveling in easy, plentiful internet access. I pored over the Hennepin County Jail Roster like it was the most entertaining site on the internet, clicking on the names of North Minneapolis residents to learn about their criminal charges.
That was when I learned about Christina Maria Elias, age 21, who was charged with prostitution and listed a Penn Ave. N. home address.
Today I learned Elias pleaded guilty on April 3 to two separate counts of engaging in prostitution with a person over 18 in a public place. For this, Elias was sentenced to 2 years probation.
On the jailhouse roster, Elias reported her address as 3230 Penn Ave. N.
And that's when things got interesting...
The owner of that property is listed as "TLC Hardon LLC" on the city's property website.
That's right. TLC Hardon.
"TLC" is a common abbreviation for "Tender Loving Care." And a "hardon" is, well, it's a hardon. An erect penis. Duh.
So here we have a prostitute (now convicted, and I was watching for that) whose home address is owned by "TLC Hardon, LLC."
I went to the website of the Minnesota Secretary of State to see what I might discover about this LLC. Turns out there is a "Hard On Tackle LLC," and there are a number of businesses with "TLC" in the title.
There is, however, no "TLC Hardon, LLC." (CORRECTION, APRIL 7. Unknown why the name did not come up when I searched the website, and therefore the following statement is based on a false assumption)
Which means it's either an out-of-state LLC or the city's property information website contains spurious information. I'd bet on the second one.