I Got Your Bail Money RIGHT HERE, BABY! Is Christopher Lee Nix Walking The Streets For Less Cash Than Most People Drop At Buffalo Wild Wings?

Photo, blog post by John Hoff

Please tell me that's a typographical error on the Hennepin County Jail Roster.

Please tell me Christopher Lee Nix, DOB 12/29/72, charged with assault and disorderly conduct, didn't just walk out of jail for a cash surety of a one wadded up $20 bill that, quite possibly, smelled like marijuana.

But if the roster is right, and if my eyes do not deceive me...


That's exactly what happened. Nix was arrested on a bench warrant from the Plymouth Police Department. The warrant was for 5th Degree Assault, Fear of Harm or Death. State of the charge says BAIL POSTED. The amount of bail? Twenty dollars. There's a disorderly conduct charge, too, which also says BAIL POSTED, but the bail amount is $0. I guess Nix really made that $20 stretch! I bet this guy shops at So Low Foods!

The roster also shows "sentence stayed" on a charge of failing to register a potentially dangerous or (actually) dangerous animal.

(Sarcasm and kidding around fonts)

Hmmm, I wonder what sort of animal THAT might be?

Maybe...a koala bear? I read how they seem cute and cuddly, but they will try to rip you apart with their claws.

Or, well, zebra mussels. Yeah, I've been reading how this invasive species is wreacking havoc with the ecosystem of Minnesota's lakes. It's very important for anglers to clean their boats and not spread zebra mussels from infected lakes to clean lakes.

Could Nix have been doing that? Hoarding zebra mussels, thinking, "Well, wouldn't it be cool if I put zebra mussels in a lake around here?"

Or maybe it's...it's...

(And I'm just taking a wild guess, here)

A PIT BULL?

(End sarcasm and joke fonts)

Here is Nix's list of criminal charges, not all of which represent convictions, but some of them certainly DO represent convictions:

27-CR-04-009265
1030590366
1030590366
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
02/10/2004
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
LOITER WITH INTENT TO SOLICIT ANY A
POSSESS SMALL AMT MARIJUANA

27-CR-04-056463
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
08/06/2004
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
THEFT

27-CR-04-080260
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
12/07/2004
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Brookdale
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
THEFT

27-CR-06-020233
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
03/27/2006
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
OBSTRUCTING LEGAL PROCESS
POSSESS SMALL AMT MARIJUANA

27-CR-06-059568
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
08/30/2006
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Closed
CONTROLLED SUB CRIME 5TH DEG-POSSESSION

27-VB-11-1551
1060594734
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
02/03/2011
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Non-Mand
Under Court Jurisdiction
Driving after suspension

27-CR-12-4117
NIX, CHRISTOPHER LEE
03/10/1985
02/07/2012
Hennepin Criminal/Traffic/Petty Downtown
Crim/Traf Mandatory
Under Court Jurisdiction
Fail to Register a Potentially Dangerous or Dangerous Animal

(Sarcasm font, again)

At least we can be assured the man will appear in court so he won't lose his twenty big ones.

Oh, yeah, I should mention: his address on the roster is 1533 Penn Ave. N., a rental owned by Joseph Boone, 222 Reid Road, Garysburg, NC.

That's a new one. The address comes back as a child care center named J and B, the same initials as "Joseph Boone."