Tuesday, April 19, 2011

JNS BLOG EDITORIAL: Gopher 94 Liquor License Denial Was A Victory For North Minneapolis, Not Merwin Liquors...

Photo and blog post by John Hoff

With the dust now settled over the issue of the Gopher 94 Liquor license denial, a matter reported in the Star Tribune and other media, it seems a good time to examine what happened with the issue and what DID NOT happen with the issue.

First, and most unfortunately, far too much attention was focused on the self-serving and hypocritical role of Merwin Liquors, a competitor, who not only expressed opposition to a liquor license for Gopher 94 but took things a step further: providing a bus to bring citizens to the city council meeting and distributing flyers like the one pictured above. Frankly, citizens and neighborhood activists could have won this battle on their own, just fine, without any...

...so-called "assistance" from Merwin Liquors, whose involvement actually detracted from the legitimate points made by ordinary citizens. In fact, Merwin might want to take a good hard look at many of the proposed rules that Gopher 94 was willing to live under and start imposing those standards on itself instead of actually pandering to chronic inebriates. If the folks behind Gopher 94 are upset, they have a right to be. But there's no sense painting Merwin Liquors as a powerful player in this drama. The City Council vote rejecting the license wasn't BECAUSE of Merwin Liquors raising its voice, but IN SPITE of Merwin.

As for the citizens who came on the Merwin-sponsored bus and spoke, WHO CARES how they arrived at city hall? If the Hawthorne Hawkman doesn't have a working vehicle and I give him a ride, that doesn't make the Hawthorne Hawkman my spokesmodel.

But now, with a liquor license denied for Gopher 94, we are left to ask "Where do we go from here?" What kind of project will reside at that corner?

Whatever it is, I hope it isn't "more of the same," by which I mean:

1. Liquor stores, particularly those selling "Mad Dog 20/20."

2. Housing projects that announce great hopes and dreams, but are likely to turn into a dystopian nightmare about as quickly as the carpeting loses its "new carpet smell." Click here for an example.

3. Any greasy food establishment with "Chicago" in the name. Seriously, the other day I saw a fried chicken place going up near Little Caeser's Pizza at Hawthorn (sic) Crossings strip mall, and I was ECSTATIC because at least it was Louisiana-style, not Chicago-style, and even though it was more fried food on West Broadway at least leaving "Chicago" out of the establishment name represents meaningful progress.

Here are some of my nominations for future development at the site of BJ's strip club:

1. A CVS Pharmacy.

2. A gas station.

3. A sit-down restaurant.

4. Nothing. Just tear the strip club down and leave the lot empty for the time being.


Anonymous said...

For someone who hits the sauce as much as you do, I would think that you would be marching around, holding up little signs that say "I need more, we want gopher 94!"
The competition should make the cost of your binges go down a bit.

Johnny Northside! said...

When I respond to you, I think I will call you "Jill."

Dear Jill,

I am actually one of the most moderate drinkers you would ever care to meet, and super responsible when it comes to either being a designated driver or making sure I have a designated driver. Any of my friends in North Minneapolis will tell you that.

I've never, for example, been featured in newspaper articles discussing a struggle with alcoholism or released an album called "Songs For A Recovering Planet" as my "Twelfth Step."

The fact is I didn't drink AT ALL through my college years.

boathead said...

This is for Anonameass-hole 2:22 a.m. who was posting right about the time people are getting home from the bars...the irony smells like your shit coated post. Hits' the sauce? That is telling me that you must hit the car antenna and you have burn marks on your cum-stained lips. The only competition for your drug of choice cums from the other tweekers that battle over vapors like pigeons battle over the remains of the crumbs that fall out of your hair after you fall out of whatever dumpster you crashed in all night...damn,just missed pick didja? Too bad, maybe next time. Now go find a boulder size rock and smoke yourself sillier than you already fucking are. Good Day.

Anonymous said...

Dear Boathead, while you spend your days at home popping your anti-psychotic medications some of us actually need to work for a living. Some of us actually work 4-midnight, so our 2am activities are equal to a 9-5er's normal evening. We watch our Tivo'd TV shows and read the mail, and check the blogs all while you're out cold from your evening sleep medications.
So while you may find in odd that someone posts a comment at 2am, you should realize that many normal folks work late shifts so you can have that Danish to go with your coffee in the morning.
Although from the looks of it, you should stay away from the coffee as it must have a contraindication with your meds.

Anonymous said...

Boathead isn't a real person. He is some sock puppet.

Johnny Northside! said...

To Boathead: I love your raw expressiveness. Don't ever change.

Anonymous said...

And do you think the busload of people got anything in return for taking time out of their busy schedule. A free giftcard ?!?!?!?!

boathead said...

Anonameass 5:14 must be anonameass 2:22 also. I moonlight as a fucking genius after i get off my THIRD SHIFT JOB. Now, i'll hold my praise for 5:14 because when you get off your shift i am taking it over...the same machine you fucking Idiot!! Contraindiction? I sure the fuck hope your train is on time because your intelligence isn't. Anyhow, 2nd shift crackhead, i do not take anti-psychotic medication because if i did law enforcement would not have issued me a conceal and carry. I am a responsible North Minneapolis citizen, lifelong as you may know, and i do not, as Homey the Clown would say, play dat shit.If i was psychotic i would have took a bunch of you ignorant bitch wannabes'out already and no one would have a clue or care. I actually kind of like an occasional tranquilizer and the fact that i do not drink or haven't for as many years as it took anonameass to finish high school...seven fucking fun filled years, wannabe, for you that is grades 9-16. So, all of you Anonameasses out there who are masturbating in fuckin' lockstep, full speed ahead because you cocksuckers are all blind anyhow. Good Day.