Thursday, May 3, 2012

JNS Blog Announces Northside Weekend Gun Crime Special! Commit A Gun Crime This Weekend, See Your Name And Background RIGHT HERE!

Stock photo, Ghazni Province, Afghanistan, blog post by John Hoff

This blogger is pleased with MPD's recent emphasis on "saturation patrols" to go after guns and drugs. I would like to do my little part in support of MPD, so here's the deal. Anybody with a North Minneapolis address who gets arrested for a gun crime today through Sunday can expect to...

...see their information posted here on Johnny Northside Dot Com. And yes, that includes mere wrongful possession. You don't even need to pop the thing off. It doesn't have to be loaded. It doesn't even have to be YOURS, just get caught with your hand on it.

I will post your address. I will post your criminal record, what I can find of it. I will figure out who owns the residence where you (allegedly) live and post THEIR information. If I can pull up a mug shot for you on a state website, I'll plaster your face in this space.

Normally, if I look up the address of an alleged criminal and see their home is owned by a relative (that is to say, somebody with the same surname) I won't publish the relative's name because, after all, people should look out for their family even if they are "bad seed." (I reserve the right to alter this policy if the crime is particularly heinous or if I feel like it.

But nobody gets a break like that this weekend. Get arrested for a gun crime, and if the Northside address on the jail roster is the house owned by your mama, then mama's name will be all over the internet along with sonny boy the (purported) gang banger. In fact, I will dig into your MAMA's criminal record.

Don't do it. Put the guns away this weekend.

You might get out of jail in 36 hours, but the internet is forever...well, at least for a long, long time.


Anonymous said...

Subject: Outstanding Work!

4th Precinct Staff,

Wow! I want to thank you all for another tremendous week. You have again led the City in proactive stops with 650 stops for traffic, suspicious persons, and suspicious vehicles. Over the last 8 weeks you have consistently led the City with 10% more proactive stops per officer than the next closest precinct. That is on top of handling more calls for service and more Priority One calls. You have also made 4848 arrest this year, which is 34% more than the next closest precinct (to spite having the same number of officers).

You have also taken 93 guns off the streets of the North side this year. That is 50% of the guns taken off of the street Citywide and 52 more than the next closest precinct. In addition, you again led the City in Truancy and Curfew enforcement with 24 arrests. That is 26% more than the next closest precinct.

The results of your hard work include a 34% reduction in Violent Crime this week, a 36% reduction in robberies this week, and 25% reduction in non-domestic aggravated assaults. Our total Part I crime this week was down 3% and you are consistently chipping away at the increases we saw due to good weather at the beginning of the year.

As if all of this isn’t enough – complaints against officers in the 4th Precinct are down and I continually receive praise from the residents, business owners, and property owners you serve.

Thanks from a very grateful Inspector!

Insp. Mike Martin

p.s. – don’t forget to thank our Citywide partners for their help when you see them on the street.

Johnny Northside said...

In addition to praise from residents, business owners, and property owners, add...