Sunday, August 24, 2008

"Baby Buggy Man" Acquires An Air-Conditioner

Photo by John Hoff

This happened a few weeks ago...I was driving around "my block" and here was this guy with a baby cart full of junk, and he was just in the act of hoisting up an air-conditioner. I had driven by and noted his cart a while earlier, so the air conditioner had NOT been sitting on the curb, which would be fair and square game and--I would assert--good planetary stewardship. 

No, rather he walked up from somewhere--somewhere he didn't have his cart parked, quite deliberately--with the thing in his hands. Why would he park AWAY FROM where he was getting the object? 

From the window of my vehicle I asked where (in all of creation) he got the item in question.

He asked me (in so many words) who I was and what business it was of mine. This was happening right in front of an empty house. And next to one. And across from one. And kitty-corner from one. You'd never see this crap happening in Edina but I'm supposed to turn a blind and tolerant eye? (Expletive) that (expletive).  

I called the police. I'm not sure if they came. I told "Baby Buggy Man" that if I caught him stealing from empty houses, something decisive would be done about it. He denied stealing anything in his entire life, but would not address an accusation I leveled of crack-smoking. He said the air-conditioner came from somebody in "the Towers" who gave it to him.  And at that very moment, I saw a monkey fly out of his (expletive). 

(Do not click "Read More") 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Johnny,
Just wanted to updated you on that high speed chase that happened this afternoon. It started on 4th st N and turned on to 29th. I was packing my car when I heard the sirens go off and wheels screeching around the corner. Instincts kicked in and I ducked in my car and turned around to see the silver four door speeding by. The scene seemed surreal, these brothers looked like they were just taking a joy ride . . . they were all smoking, laughing with the windows rolled down. NO fear that there was a squad following them or that they almost ran over an innocent bystander. It is scary to think about how such blatant disregard for the law and well being of others has become the norm in this neighborhood. In all the things I have seen, this was by far the scariest. Just thought I would give you the heads up . . . no need to post this, unless you find it relevant.

Johnny Northside said...

It's very relevant. In fact, I have pictures of the aftermath of the crash and I'll be getting those up here soon enough.