Wednesday, March 4, 2009

So Low Foods Wins A New Customer

So, a few nights ago when me, Jeff, Connie, Megan and Demetri were all meeting for food and drinks and drinks at some Russian restaurant ten feet into the suburbs, I wanted to show Connie some of the great deals I get at the So Low store at Emerson and Lowry...

See, Connie is totally into frugality, a student of the writings of the "Simplicity Movement" which, oddly enough, thrived during the economic boom times of the Clinton Administration with publications like "The Tightwad Gazette" and (must I go out of my way to mention?) "The Art and Science of Dumpster Diving" by John Hoffman. So I knew Connie would totally get into the deals at So Low, which I had already blogged about.

So there I was at the table, and when the subject of So Low came up, quite naturally in the course of the conversation, I reached in my pocket and pulled out the brie cheese. Ninety-nine cents, can you believe it? And it turned out Connie had sought out So Low in the wake of my blog posting and found the cheese section all by herself, where (the truth be told) she was apparently involved in some pretty serious looting.

Megan was all, like, "You walk around with brie cheese in your pocket?" And I told her, no, it was a "demo item" I brought with me for purposes of illustration, kind of like the little eco-soaps from Mystic Lake, see previous post.

I've been around salesmanship my whole life, so I find it quite natural a person might have "demo items" in their pocket. Take, for example, my cousin who we'll call "Rory." One time, when I was in about 5th Grade, Rory and my shockingly-hot other cousin, who we'll call "Jane," came to our oh-so-rural farm for a visit.

So Rory was settling in for the night, and he started pulling some items out of his backpack and dumping the items on my rolltop desk--half a dozen men's belt buckles, some quite ornate. I remember there was one made to look like scrimshaw, with a whaling scene like you might find in Moby Dick. And I was all, like, "Why do you have so many belt buckles?" And Rory said, "Um, they're sort of associated with my job. I sell things."

"You're a salesman?" I asked.

"You could say that," Rory shrugged.

"You sell BELT BUCKLES?" I asked.

"No," Rory sighed. "I sell...what goes WITH the belt buckle."

I thought about that for a moment. I was only a 5th grader, after all, and not even all the way into 5th grade, just STARTING 5th grade. So I replied, "You sell belts?"

Rory looked at me and said, "You're so innocent! Don't ever change." And he gave me about a dozen really cool belt buckles.

So it doesn't strike me as odd, at all, that people walk around with "demo items" in their pocket. It's really just a matter of what they're trying to sell.

Oh, by the way, once my father figured out Rory's lifestyle, he pretty much ended the family reunion and threw Rory out of the house, and Jane for good measure. Which was too bad. They're both cool, interesting people and a lot of fun. But my father was the kind of guy who made Old School look like New Wave.


JNS Reader said...

Ok, Johnny. I'm going to have to ask you to spell it out. What's the deal with the belt buckles? I too grew up on a farm, and apparently have not been successful in shedding all my innocence...

Dummy said...

OK.. I don't get it... what WERE Rory's belt buckles for?? Was he a dominator?

Dummy said...

oh good, thank god i'm not the only dumb one.

Johnny Northside said...

Dudes...the guy has a DOZEN MEN'S BELT BUCKLES and he calls himself a "salesman." I won't spell it out. The belt buckles were apparently "souvenirs," though. Does that help?

Dummy said...

Did he take the belt buckles in exchange for payment???

i'm so confusicated.

Jeff Skrenes said...

I get it, except for one thing. I grew up on a farm myself, and in the farming community, I don't remember a whole lot of WOMEN who wore belt buckles...

But to quote Seinfeld, not that there's anything wrong with that.