Thinking the story might be fleshed out further if I could get my hands on the police report, I contacted MPD records and...
Tried to get a copy of the report. I figured the report would have the name of any minors redacted, but that was OK. I'm happy to cooperate with the police. God bless MPD, like I often say.
To my surprise, I was told the incident that Jill Clark was weeping and wailing and gnashing her teeth over didn't even generate a report. Officers merely did some "advising" which wasn't even worth paperwork.