Stopping Scrap Metal Theft On My Block

(Remains of a house on Colfax Avenue. It blew up because copper thieves broke the gas pipes. This photo is from an excellent story in MinnPost Dot Com)


I alluded, briefly, to the incident a few days ago when I called the cops on some scrap metal guys who appeared to be up to no good on "Peter And Joy's Block." Here is the full story...

I had done my "morning security check" of my house, and I was getting set to return to the bus stop and head off to campus, when I saw a couple guys pushing an over sized baby carriage (seriously) loaded with at least one aluminum door.

At first it didn't register...I mean, scrap metal thieves have been going after copper pipe and then bathroom fixtures for good measure, right? If a person wanted aluminum cans, there is honest labor picking them up on the street, after all.

TANGENT ALERT: A city official I will not name once told me something funny about the lack of coordination between the city's "Windy Top" and the place where stuff actually needs to happen, down in the "Foggy Bottom" of implementation.

It seems a person in charge of the Minneapolis recycling program once said, "Picking up aluminum cans in the street is one thing, but when they're in the trash, they belong to the city. If you see somebody taking aluminum cans from the trash, call 911."

The guy who told me this said, "Yeah, call 911 and tell 'em somebody is stealing aluminum cans from the garbage. Tell me what they say...after they get done laughing their (expletive) off."

BACK TO THE SORDID TALE OF SCRAP METAL CAPERS:

Any way, I did a double take and thought, "Good grief, are they going after the ALUMINUM, now?" But the brown aluminum door I could see in the baby carriage told the tale. There was an old guy and a young guy. The old guy was pushing the carriage.

They went into an alley and the young guy was "standing watch" while the other guy disappeared behind a house, just a few doors down from Peter and Joy's place. I gave a good description, but then I stayed around and...and....

I don't know what takes hold of me, sometimes. I don't know what makes me walk into an empty house before boarding it up, shouting, "Security, MORTGAGE COMPANY. If you're inside the house, you're free to leave. Not calling any cops, you're free to leave."

So I walked right up to the sentry and said, "Excuse me, are you guys doing some work on this house?"

The older guy was near the house with the baby carriage. The sentry said nothing. He stared straight ahead, his face impassive, his eyes furious.

"I'm sorry, sir," I said. "Perhaps you didn't hear what I asked? Are you doing some work on this house?"

The older guy came quickly, pushing the baby carriage, smiling in an affable manner. He spoke to me, while the younger one maintained his silence. He said they were just looking for stuff "laying around." I could see the aluminum door bore the numbers "811." It seemed reasonable it might indeed be laying around. But they weren't staying...they were leaving, walking down the alley. Furthermore, I had distinctly observed the older guy looking toward the window frames and rain gutters of the house.

"I'm the block watch," I said, once again seizing the vacant title, by necessity. "The way I see it, aluminum scrap metal is laying on the ground, and you pick it up, then you're actually cleaning stuff up and doing a service."

The older one agreed, enthusiastically.

"However," I added. "If it's attached to the house, it belongs to the house. That seems about right, doesn't it?"

He concurred with, it seemed to me, mild reluctance. But he concurred. The younger one walked, hands jammed in his pockets, silent and gritting his teeth.

But I actually believe this. Cleaning up metal laying around is a humble, necessary service, and it should be compensated--quite reasonably--by the market value of the metal. Contractors who acquire a house are unlikely to say, "Oh, look at this precious aluminum door, laying in the yard where crack heads torn it off. How lucky are we! A free door made of aluminum as part of our purchase of the house."

Of course, one can't help but think of Japan in the 1930s, buying as much scrap metal as it could, building up its industry and then waging war on the United States beginning December 7, 1941. One can't help but think China is an a similar and analogous position, buying so much American scrap metal. But enough about that...

A Thumbnail History Of Aluminum


I told them a house had been torn down on the corner, quite recently, and pieces of metal were laying all over the place. Maybe they might be interested in some of it? The older one agreed, enthusiastically. A little TOO MUCH enthusiasm, I thought, like "Oh, yes, just so eager to find honest metal..."

As I walked with these I pontificated. They allowed me to do so. Did they know, I asked, that aluminum was once considered a precious metal?

Seriously, I said, that's why the Washington Monument was topped with a pyramid of pure aluminum. Because it was so precious. You see, people in those days didn't have an efficient way to separate aluminum from bauxite ore. To get aluminum, one had to pull tiny strands of it lose, to get enough to make something. But once a process was invented to separate aluminum from bauxite ore, then aluminum lost its value and was used for stuff like, well, this aluminum door here on the baby carriage...

A squad car wheeled around the corner. I jerked my head toward the suspects and walked away. Later, from Bangkok Market, I saw the officer talking to the older gentleman by the car. The younger one, it appeared, was inside the vehicle...though I couldn't tell.

I snapped a picture from a vantage point behind Bangkok Market and got out of Dodge.