Photos By John Hoff
As reported in a previous (parody) blog post, Hawthorne Housing Director Jeff Skrenes is on the road to recovery after being the victim of a freak phone book dumping accident which is all the fault of Dex and their evil "Dumpinator 3000."
Obviously, a lawsuit is being contemplated...
So, yeah, it's complicated. Jeff's physical injuries are easy to figure out, but the brain damage is much harder to pin down. After all, Jeff's "normal baseline" already involved making small talk about sub prime mortgages.
Recently, some friends gathered with our dear friend Jeff to watch Game Seven of the Stanley Cup. Jeff showed us some of the physical therapy he's doing under the guidance of the Veterans Administration. How Jeff ended up in a VA hospital is a long story, but suffice to say he's stuck there without enough physical therapy resources to go around. So the VA just told Jeff to go buy a hula hoop, use it, and "get better."
Fortunately, our mutual friend Connie Nompelis (No-buhl-iss, it's Greek) actually makes hula hoops out of irrigation pipe and decorative duct tape.
In the top photo, Connie demonstrates her hula technique and Jeff sort of follows in the bottom photo. Unfortunately, what should have been a fun bit of physical exercise actually revealed how badly damaged Jeff is. Consider: here's me, an army vet rated at 30 percent disability, with one leg almost two inches shorter than the other, jammed up into my hip after a freak accident involving a violent psych patient jacked up on angel dust. (No, that part is NOT parody)
But who can hula longer, me and my wounded army green corpse or Jeff, a strapping young man in the prime of life?
Me, of course.
Which just goes to show you how horribly Jeff was messed up by the Dumpinator 3000 and how badly Dex needs to get the taste sued out of their mouth for their unrelenting evil phone book dumping.
CURSE YOU DEX!!!!!!!!!!