Now comes a new story about the house, featuring the customary and expected theme of poop. I made sure this story was on the record and the resident didn't care if I blogged about it.
So, according to the unnamed resident, there was a guy at 1607 doing some work, going in and out. The guy--who said his name is "Tony"--came over to this resident's house and asked to borrow water "for paint brushes." Tony said a plumber would be coming in the near future to turn on the water.
So this situation went on for a little while. Tony would ask for water and would say the plumber was coming. But then Tony finally admitted "there's no pipes in there!" and said the city couldn't turn on the water because, well, NO PIPES! He still needed to borrow water and the resident still gave it to him.
Then one night the resident heard "a woman screaming bloody murder" and realized the screaming was coming from 1607. Naturally, the resident called 911. Before the police arrived, a woman came from the house; slapped and punched and all beat up. She had "hideous choke marks" around her neck and cried out, "He tried to choke me to death and take my money!"
The woman said, "I know you think Tony is a nice guy and you give him water but..." and she made more statements to the effect Tony had been violent with her. The resident assured the woman "the police are coming."
"NO!" the woman cried. She said something about not wanting police involvement and then RAN AWAY down Hillside Ave. N.
After a while the police came. They first went in to check the property at 1607 Hillside Ave. N. but found nobody there. The woman who was all beat up was nowhere to be found. When the officers came out, one of the officers asked if he could use the resident's water hose...to spray feces off his shoes.
The officer said the house was REALLY BAD INSIDE. Furthermore, the officer saw "no tools, no construction material." There was only one small area where "somebody might have pulled some carpeting" but otherwise there was no indication of work being done, let alone painting which might require "water for paint brushes."
The officers went to Broadway to go look for a woman with hideous choke marks on her neck. The next day, or it might have been a few days later, the resident saw somebody working at 1607 Hillside Ave. N. And guess who it was? That's right, it was the lovely couple; Tony and the woman with the choke marks! And what did the lovely couple want for their honeymoon? That's right, a bucket of water.
The woman had choke marks on her neck but now the story was, oh, she ran into a tree branch.
This time the resident put her foot down: no more water. Tony began to plead for water. He said the house had no plumbing but they were using the toilet and needed the water to flush the toilet because "it's starting to stink in there."
So that was the situation with Hillside Ave. N. as of a few days ago, though word comes that some new boards have appeared on the windows. This is the kind of thing Mahmood Khan has brought to our neighborhood and this is why we need a city councilman who will GO AFTER SLUMLORDS.
If I get any more good stories about "The House Of Poop" I'll be sure to pass them along. And, gee, what I wouldn't give for a comprehensive list of Mahmood Khan's slummy empire...