Wednesday, December 12, 2012

"Spanky Pete" Rickmyer Files Pile Of Gibberish In Federal Court, Johnny Northside Translates The Obscure Language Spoken By Inhabitants Of Spankspankistan For The Amusement And Edification Of Readers...

MNDOC mug shot, therefore public domain, blog post by John Hoff

Peter Richard Stephenson, who goes by Peter Rickmyer and used to file a lot of frivolous crap in Hennepin County District Court before being declared a Rule 9 frivolous litigant, has apparently found a new legal playground in which he can frolic and submit gibberish filings.

Federal District Court.

Rickmyer has filed a number of documents in the case of Wells Fargo, NA versus Jill Clark, et al, a case which can be summarized as yet another of attorney Jill Clark's loony cries of loondom into an uncaring universe as her legal career spirals downward amid disciplinary cases in both federal and state court.

Astute readers (and there are so many of you!) right away might be thinking, "Why is RICKMYER making a filing in the case? Isn't Jill Clark Rickmyer's attorney? So why would the CLIENT be making a filing instead of his own attorney?"

To which I say...

Exactly. But that's just what happened.

The documents in question (which will all be linked, shortly) are written in the cracked noggin language of pedophile frivolous litigants and are, therefore, very hard to translate. Luckily, in my time as an anthropologist of all things Northside, I have been exposed to enough of this obscure language to translate, roughly, the gist. I shall give you the summary so, if you don't have time to wade through the rambling court filings of child molesters, you can get on with your life.
1.) Rickmyer OBJECTS and says he swears under oath!!!!! therefore we are expected to take all these statements as true; even the one where he says I, John Hoff, am a member of JACC and/or eligible to sit on the JACC Board.

(Sorry, Creepy Pete, I live in Hawthorne, not Jordan. Do you fear lighting will strike you when you swear falsely under oath, or only when you spank minors for sexual gratification?)

2.) Rickmyer thinks people are plotting to get the Hennepin County Department of Corrections to make him "shut up" and describes himself as a whistle blower.

If, by "whistle blower," Rickmyer means he's like the Pied Piper of Hamelin who wanted all the little children to follow him for some terrible purpose, I suppose that's correct. It is, however, more accurate to say reports are made from time to time about Rickmyer's creepy, suspicious and stalky activities. Indeed, this blog post itself is such a report and (must I tediously and legalistically point out?) seeks to procure favorable government action.

3.) Numerous things that obsess Rickmyer and are mentioned in the documents. He's unhappy about being accused of stalking. He's unhappy that Stu Ackerberg ("Acky-Berg," in the bastardized version of English spoken by the inhabitants of Spankspankistan) is the landlord for JACC. He's obsessed with ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) because he's figured out he can create a great deal of paperwork and hassle for people by filing complaints. Incredibly, certain brain dead individuals with DOC have not only been aware of this, but apparently allowed it to happen as part of an "idle Rickmyer hands are the devil's tools" plan to keep Rickmyer occupied, to the detriment of neighborhood organizations who have to deal with his paperwork and, reportedly, noticeable body odor.

4.) More things that obsess Rickmyer: A picture of him that exists on this blog. Click here. Griping the courts are biased against him for retaining Jill Clark. (He confuses "bias" with "bad results happen because Jill Clark is a lousy attorney.")

In what seems to be a "swan song" mega filing for the archive of the ages similar to Jill Clark's recent 99 page opus, Rickmyer rehashes dozens of old complaints and issues surrounding his long history of unsuccessful litigation in the courts.

Rickmyer's garbled documents read something like an existential cri de coeur, "I lived, I existed, I filed crazy crap with no self-awareness of how crazy it was, I liked spanking minors but the police didn't like ME liking what I liked (spanking minors, spanking them, spanking them hard), OH HARSH AND UNFAIR UNIVERSE, JUST ONCE HEAR MY CRY. Sworn to under oath!!!!" 

5.) Rickmyer's signature on his main "objection document" is the most evil thing I've seen since the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.

Look upon it yourself, if you dare. As much as handwriting can change your view of whether there is a devil who walks on earth, this signature will.

I think that about summarizes it. I have waded through the pile of crap so readers don't have to, but if you still want to, well, see links at the end to these documents.

Despite the amount of effort Rickmyer has put into these garbled filings, they are probably not worth the time of an attorney to bother to file any answer, unless it's something to the effect Rickmyer is a frivolous litigant in Hennepin County District Court, and needs to be declared a frivolous litigant in FEDERAL Court.

Here are the filings.

Rickmyer Objection, SWORN TO UNDER OATH!!!!

Rickmyer Exhibits, a rummage sale of documentary randomness. One of the exhibits purportedly shows a neighborhood leader was prosecuted for carrying a firearm when he wasn't supposed to be. Child molesters would do well to remember many decent people in the neighborhood (like the one mentioned in Rickmyer's exhibit) are, like the criminals in the neighborhood, armed to the teeth.

Certificate of Service, I weep for the trees and their needless sacrifice.

Rickmyer's letter to the court. Here's an interesting piece of info. There is a notation added to the document. (what is that, blue crayon?) The notation says ATTORNEY ON MEDICAL LEAVE.

Oh, that's nice. Rickmyer figured he'd jump in and help while Clark is indisposed. Is Rickmyer actually a PARTY in the case of Wells Fargo, NA v. Jill Clark?

My original point. But whatever.

Rickmyer apparently had so much fun with the filings above that he decided there was more to say. He filed a "supplemental" objection containing yet more crap, and featured some kind of uniquely Rickmyerian Roman numeral system that emerged in our world out of the blue, like the mythical birth of Venus as depicted by Botticelli. Only weird and creepy instead of beautiful. But that same Romanesque, out-of-the-blue thing.

It should be noted, however, Rickmyer skips from 33 (XXXIII) to 39 (IXXXX).

If you're going to be clever with Roman numerals, be sure you know what the Hades you are doing.

Anyway, the "supplemental objection" (SWORN TO UNDER OATH!!!) concerns, among other things, Rickmyer's unhealthy and stalky obsession with JACC attorney David Schooler. 

I assume Rickmyer is obsessed with Schooler because the word "school" is contained within the attorney's surname, but who can tell? Just because I can translate the language of the inhabitants of Spankspankistan doesn't mean I can achieve a deep understanding of their motives for saying what they say. Please, feel free to read these whacked out documents and draw your own armchair psychologist conclusions.

I have 99 pages of Jill Clark CRAP to wade through in my next blog posting. Rickmyer's filings were just the appetizer, by which I mean a completely unappetizing prelude to a meal composed entirely of quasi-legalistic vomit, blechhhhhhhhhhed out on 99 pages of paper.  


Anonymous said...

you,my friend,will be tortured soon and payed back for everything you have done,pervert. i am going to stuff your nuts up your ass after i slow cook your face and carve out your eyeballs. i am going to make you wish john never focused on you. post this please or i may add to my list

Johnny Northside! said...

A reader called me up this morning just to point out a phenomenon in Pete's Roman numeral system in the FIRST document, where he also uses Roman numerals just like he does in the SECOND document.

Apparently unable to correctly use Roman numerals because he's unaware of the use of "V" (which is 5) once he gets past 13, Pete has skipped from XIII (13, which he charmingly writes X1II with a one in it as well as two capital letter I's) all the way to 19, which is IXX.

And then he goes from 19 to 30.

Creepily, this allows Pete the sex offender to make an argument that is literally Triple X like a porno movie. (XXX)

Madness? Or perverse BRILLIANCE? Though Pete is Jill Clark's pupil and a mere layman, he has clearly exceeded his legal master, foisting his own X-rated numbering system upon an innocent and unsuspecting world.

Kudos atop of kudos to my astute reader. He can identify himself if he likes. Though I have mastered the language of Spankspankistan as well as any non-inhabitant ever has, yet the key to their odd and bastardized NUMBERING SYSTEM had been beyond my grasp, though I realized it was based somehow on the Roman system.

So simple yet so elegant. It's like when you're in grade school and they teach you Roman numerals, but you forget to use "V" once you get past the big numbers, by which I mean, um, 13.

Johnny Northside! said...

Comment rejected. Please try again and word things a little less specifically, a little more moderately, a wee bit less graphically. Thank you so much for caring about the impact this man has on society and taking the time to comment.

Anonymous said...

This guy is really creepy. I usely don't comment. But he really need to go to jail. you should change his name from "Spanky Pete" to Sneaky pete. He always doing something extra,sweeping the snow. Really you looking for your next toy....