Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Driving Around, Meeting Fun New People...THEN BLOGGING WHILE DRUNK!!!!

Photo By John Hoff

On Friday night, a friend and I were MERELY DRIVING FROM POINT A TO POINT B, and along the way we happened to encounter...oh, how shall I put it? This woman who was STREET WALKING. Yeah, she was walking on the street. That's fair and accurate.

So we pulled up and....I mean, like, my friend is driving and she's female and I'm in the passenger side, but this...how shall I put it? THIS WOMAN comes walking up toward the window...

And you gotta wonder....for what purpose? Because our relationship (such as it is) needs some spicing up?

Not that I'm accusing this woman of being A HOOKER!!!! Oh, heavens no.

So she's all, like, "What's up?"

And I'm all, like, reaching over with my camera, and I'm like, "Here's what's up (expletive)!"

And so we made off with her picture. FOR FREE, NO CHARGE.

A few moments later, a big rig (without the trailer) was driving toward this young woman, and my friend said, "Oh, you watch, that trucker is going to pick her up." We made a U-turn and, sure enough, my friend was right. The young lady of the evening--for it was indeed evening--was up on the running board, talking to the driver, but when she saw us approach she jumped off right away and went in the other direction.

So we had a good time following the truck for several blocks and calling 911, until the truck circled all the way back and drove right into a nest of squad cars which had a male detained, arms spread on the hood of the squad car.

Good times.

We made our way back to my friend's house, happy with the results of our spontaneous activist effort. Of course, I knew the cherry on the ice cream sundae would be to put the dear young woman's picture ALL OVER THE INTERNET.

(Excuse me. Blogging while drunk...Kip Browne gave me some I-don't-know-what out of a Browne paper sack and I'm wondering what the heck it is, but I'm sure it's about 180 proof. Kip made good on his drinking game bet, after Jill Clark said the name "Johnny Northside" in court twice this morning)


Anonymous said...

nice for sale sign.

Oh, the irony.

Anonymous said...

John, thanks for calling 911 on the trucker. MPD doesn't seem to realize it, but there's a bunch of bonuses for busting truckers. For a start, the truck can be seized and any big rig that runs is worth at least $10,000. There's also additional sanctions for CDL holders, ranging from 1 year to lifetime suspensions of the CDL for use of a commercial motor vehicle in a felony. Even if MPD doesn't do anything, the trucking companies are usually very responsive and will fire a driver caught patronizing hookers, drunk, or stoned in their company's truck.